My Philosophy 101

In my 28 years of existence, I came to realize what philosophy really is. It is not something that we must follow because the philosophers before us said it. What the philosophers in the past had said, they should only serve as a guide for us to find our own philosophy. We are created having the most wonderful talent, rationalizing, hence we must make good use of it. We must rationalize from within and find the meaning of our lives. Hence, I came down with the following as my philosophy. It may have been said before by some philosophers, and some may not agree on what the norms believe, but I am entitled to these, because I am a rationalized being, and I have the right to philosophize.

1. Things do not change. It is our perspective that changes. An apple is an apple until the end, it does not become a pear at any point of its life. It only ripens and eventually rottens, and we as individuals are the ones who give this state to it. It is our perspective that says when an apple is good to eat and when it is not. Hence, you must not hate other people because they are no longer who they are when you met them, sit back and find the reason from within. Most of the time, the reason why we hate them now is because our perspective of them changed. They did not change, they only became too familiar to us that the way we look at them becomes more defined and our minds do not like the reality we are seeing now. Instead of forcing them to change to who they are not, tell your mind to accept the things. Nothing really changed, the reality is just more crystal clear now. When you learn to accept that nothing really changes, you would never get yourself disappointed.

2. Expectations causes our perspectives to change and eventually disappointments. The more you expect, the bigger disappointment you will get. When you expect, you create this illusion of reality in your mind, that when it is not met, you'd end up saying things have changed on them, but they did not, everything's just in your mind. Hence, stop expecting. Take things as it is. Let yourself be surprised.

3. There is no perfect relationship, because there is no such thing as perfect. What there is is a successful relationship. The key to having a successful relationship is acceptance. No one must change. Both must only learn to accept the reality. Reality is only painful and hard to accept if we have this painting called Portrait of Expectations displayed in our hearts. Put down this painting and give the brush to your partner. Let him/ her paint the reality in your heart. You will end up more beautiful and loving at the same time.

I will stop here for now. I am still on continuous study in this University of Life. I do not expect you to agree on me on these three points in life. As I have said, we have our own philosophy. Instead, I challenge you to write down your own philosophy and inspire people. Nothing is more fulfilling than inspiring others.

Chase Your Dreams

My friend posted this status on his page: "I used to dream of being a musician. Now that I am old, will I still be able to pursue it?" Without hesitation, I commented and told him that age should never be a hindrance on chasing one's dream. This topic inspired me to write this blog.

When I was two years old and the elders would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, my answer was very simple and sounds stupid: I wanted to be a sales lady. I am not quitr sure why I answered that. While other kids of my age would say they wanted to be doctors or nurses to cure the ill, pilots or stewards to travel the world, my answer was to be a sales lady simply because I find them fashionable and pretty. However, unlike my friends whose dreams never changed till they grow old, mine transformed into totally different goal in life: as I started to learn the ABCs and be able to write them, I realized I wanted to be a writer. I found the beauty of words and how fashionable they seem to be when they sit beside each other. Each phrase or sentence is unique and beautiful on its own way. Because of this admiration, I had also wanted to be that artist behind those stories and poems. It was a dream I never got a chance to fulfill,yet.

I stopped chasing this dream when I was on my last year in high school. My teacher on Creative Writing told me one devastating sentence that shattered my dream of being a writer: "you lack the talent and skill of being a writer." I actually did not cry hearing this. I was just totally destroyed. All the phrases I gained from my family and friends regarding my works (essays and poems) were all put into thrash by this woman who gained her degree on English and Literature. I believed her words because she spent years learning this art I am so in love with, hence she has all the right to tell me that I am not meant to be a writer.

I searched my soul and tried to find my path. I was good in Science, particularly Chemistry and Physics, hence decided to pursue this as a career. However, everytime I work in the laboratory, the chemical labels and reactions are playing on my mind and I always end up describing events and feelings metaphorically using Chemistry and Physics. A friend in the university told me I have the talent to be a writer, but I answered her, no, I got no talent on that. I kept on turning my back away from writing because I still hold on to the words of my high school teacher.

But the more I turn my back to it, the unhappier I am.

I had graduated from the university with average grades. I started working as a chemist and as a process engineer. But I always end up unhappy and would move forward. My resume is so dirty for having lots of company on the list,staying only a maximum of one year on each. I feel so bad and sad about it. I cannot find satisfaction on any of them. It seems like I am treading a totally wrong path. I am so lost. Whenever I would go for another interview and the personnel would ask me why I would leave my current job and if I could stay loyal on their company, I ask the same question to myself. But I got no courage to make a 180° turn and rewrite my life. Hence, in order to help myself appreciate my career and keep my heart happy, I started to blog. When I started to blog, my job as a chemist became lighter.

That was it! My dream never died. It was just lurking in the deepest part of me, giving me signs every once in a while. As a colleague started to read my blog, she said I should pursue writing. I tried to write a poem again, she liked it. They liked it.

Then, I felt free. I started chasing my dream again. I got hired in Emerson as a Documentation Engineer. I realized that I can be both a writer and a technical/ scientific person. In Emerson, I found myself, I was who I wanted me to be, maybe not 100% because I am not writing poems for living, but I am a writer, a technical writer. I am painting using words to help engineers and lay people understand our product. It was a different fulfillment, and I was happy. I now understand why since I graduated, I always see Emerson on every job ads in newspaper and internet. It was a sign for me to finally freed myself and start to chase my dream again.

I am still chasing my dream. There are still parts of it that has not yet materialized. I am still running after it, and I am determined to fulfilling it.

I know the road is still far and wide.
Nevertheless, I will continue dreaming.
I will wake up each day and run after it.
I will never get tired chasing it.
I will not stop, until I reach the top.
I will prove those who belittled me,
That I am more than anybody else.
I will continue chasing my dream.
Hope, faith and determination,
Will be my favorite companions.

I challenge you to do the same.
Go and follow your dreams with haste.

Mixed Thoughts

When I read the title of an article (please click here) a day ago, I cringed instead of being proud. I mean, seriously, Philippines lent $1B to the euro zone fund? I thought, "is this really my homeland or there is another Philippines in this world?" However, after reading through it, I know I am not dreaming. It is indeed about our BSP's (Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas or CBP for Central Bank of the Philippines) recent activity.

As far as I know, we are still a third-world country (any economist/ financial analyst can correct me here). There are a lot of other things that the BSP should work on in the Philippines alone. What they claimed in the article that our economy is not that bad anymore unlike in the past is for most Filipinos an illusion. While the malls and high-rise condominium buildings, the facade of the economic status, increases in number, the infrastructures that the majority of the Filipinos need decreases. It would have been a good news if there are no high-priority issues to be addressed in the country. 

What made me think and say that there are still unanswered issues in the Philippines:

1. There are still a lot of unemployed citizens in the country.
2. Not all children are able to go to school due to:
   • their parents are unemployed and cannot afford school
   • not enough schools available on their area
   • does not receive proper nourishment
3. The health of the people are not at its best. The health benefits they receive are not enough.
4. Not all people can afford to have their own house. I think, instead of building expensive condominiums in the cities, why not put these money to build homes at a more affordable price for everybody?
5. The environmental aspect of the country is crying.
6. The morality of the people decreases.
7. There are still millions of OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers) around the world (and the number is increasing!). Why don't they put these money to build more opportunities for jobs in the Philippines instead?
8. Our military group receives not enough compensation, both for retired and still on duty.
9. The farmers do not receive enough support.
10. While all the prices are increasing, from gasoline to all commodities, the regular employees' salary barely increase, or not at all for the past 10 years. This situation results to number 7.

These observations are just but a few of those that I have seen personally while I was still living in the Philippines. It is not bad to help others, but it won't hurt if they thought first of helping their citizens.

On the lighter side though, the second up to the last topics on that said article made me smile in a way. The top businesses in the country are still on the positive side, I just hope that they would do something to help the fellow Filipinos to stay on the positive side too. As for DMCI projects, it is good, but I do hope that the price of their projects would be at the price that regular employees can be able to pay. And lastly, the initiative to renovate and modernize local airports is totally awesome! It is so far the best project I have ever read. I do hope that the tourism would increase after that, so that the country can move further up.

Again, these are just my opinions. I do not ask you to agree on me.

Lola's 79th Birthday

I am so grateful I was still there. Eventhough we do not always agree with each other, I still love her. She's so beautiful even on her old age.

Brüder Grimms Haus in Steinau

The famous Brothers Grimm are Hessisch! One of the house where they lived and wrote some of their works is just 11 km away from us!

A Little Trivia: Snow White story is based on real people. The girl which inspired them about Snow White lived in Lohr am Main, the next County to Main-Kinzig-Kreis. The place where she lived with the dwarves is said to be in Bieber, Biebergemünd (yes, the next village to us), and they were said to be the miners. In old times, the miners were small people (compared to a natural height of Germans) that's why they were called dwarves. In Lohr was also this factory that manufactures mirrors, that inspired the character of Magic Mirror. The wandering path along the series of mountains from Schloss Lohr am Main (Lohr Castle, http://www.antenne.de/Schneewittchen-Schlo%C3%9F%20in%20Lohr%20am%20Main%20__schoeneorte_233923_news.html) to Bieber, Biebergemünd is called Schneewittchenwandernweg (Snow White's Path) and is approximately 35 km, one of the famous path taken by wanderers and bikers.

Urlaub 2010

Uwe's first time in the Philippines! That was also the time when he told my family he wants to marry me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!! :D

Spring 2012

First real spring for me. I am always here during Fall and Winter.

Saxony, Germany

Dresden, Moritzburg, Meissen, Radeburg.

Pentecost weekend with hubby and some Emerson guys from USA.

Key To A Successful Relationship: Trust and Communication

Our marriage is like anybody's marriage. We have fun times together wherein we laugh out loud like two crazy people. We have serious times together when we would exchange our thoughts and opinions over the current events in Germany and in the whole world. We fight, so often than you could imagine, over reasons that are sometimes already categorized as unreasonable. I am not proud of that. As much as possible I do not want to fight. But there are things I am proud of that I hope all other relationships in this world would have: trust and communication.

It is not really easy to give more than a hundred percent trust on your partner. Especially in my case, we have totally different culture, and he had a lot of past to tell. Despite it all, I decided to give him my full trust. I believe and hold on to his words that "he had already seen the world." Sometimes, we fight over his habit of staying up too late because of computer game or simply the internet. As somebody who grew up in a strict household, I find it hard to accept. I wanted to change his lifestyle. I wanted him to go to bed the same time I do. We fought too long over this. Too small thing but we usually argue endlessly. But because we do our best to communicate, we were able to sort this out and the solution we found is simple:TRUST. He asked me to trust him, that he knows what he is doing and everything is planned and will not affect his working condition. I listened to him and trusted him about it. Since then, it became easier for me to sleep at night (no more uneasiness nor insomnia), and surprisingly, I can feel him going to bed earlier than when we still fought over it. Indeed, trust helped us to have a more harmonious relationship.

We still fight, but it is not like before that we fight almost every week. It is also because we communicate healthily. When something bothers me or bothers him, we speak it truthfully. "I don't like what you said," "Your opinion hurts me," "I don't feel like talking today." These are just some of the phrases we use to communicate. He either stops talking and simply hugs me or asks me further why I feel this way. When I feel not talking, I tell it to him and go to the bedroom. I sit an hour or two drafting a letter. Either I leave the letter by the fridge door or send it as an e-mail. When he goes to bed, he will hold my hand and squeeze it tightly and kiss my forehead. We usually wake up with our hands still holding. Then he would tell me whether he understands the cause of my "tantrum" or if he got other solution for it. The fight is resolved. We then become more loving of each other than before.

Ours is still young, I know. I admit I am not a "professional" to say that ours is the healthiest marriage or whatever. However, I am positive that what we have shall last a lot of years, hopefully until forever, because we practice the important values a family should have: LOVE, TRUST, RESPECT, UNDERSTANDING and COMMUNICATION.

My New Hometown ► Biebergemünd

Around the neighborhood and inside our house. Just everything Biebergemündisch... :)

Coco! ♥♥♥

Coco, Cuhcuh, Koko... So many spellings of his nickname, but his real name is All Nam-Nam (name given and registered by Aries of Bluebox).

I adopted him last year, 29th of April. It was not planned, we went at Aries's house, not because we wanted to buy a dog, but because my husband needs to buy a pack of cigarette! We saw the ad by their gate that there are already puppies ready for adoption. We asked Aries's father if we can see the puppies. He was so kind and took Coco and his sister out. Coco was so sweet, he immediately came to hubby and licked him. We both fell in love with Coco, not only because he's sweet but also because he's a male! (We do not want a female dog actually.) So we asked how much does the adoption costs. Aries was so nice, he gave us a discount because he said we're neighbors and because Coco seems to like us immediately (other people might charge us higher because my hubby is a foreigner, but Aries did the other way).

So there! He's so loved by all of my cousins, niece and relatives! Who would not love this cute little dog? He got all the sweetness in the world!

And I miss him so much,,,

Easter in Mainz

Ody went to visit us. The planned Cologne trip was changed to Mainz.

Not bad at all.

Bundesliga 2011-2012: Dortmund vs Stuttgart

We were so lucky to be able to watch the said-to-be Game of the Season! Who would have thought that Stuttgart can match the strongest team, Dortmund. First half time was 2:0 for Dortmund. On the second half time, Stuttgart made 2 goals in 10 minutes! Then it was a running goals for the two teams. At 89 minutes, the score was 4:3 for Dortmund. Klopp was already rejoicing for he thought they already won, but wait! There was 3 minutes after game due to fouls and fireworks. 2 seconds before the referee called in a night: Stuttgart made a goal!

That was the most number of goals ever made for the season. :)

Thanks to Lothar Ott for the tickets. :)

New Year Walk

I noticed that most people here go out to take a walk on New Year's day. I don't know what it means, but I was envious. So my husband took me for a walk... Our destination: The Middlepoint of European Union in Meerholz. :)

Ausländer's Problem: Language (Sprache)

So I have posted a poem today for my husband for the reason that we got into a fight the night before yesterday. That was also the reason why there was a lot of hatred posts before today, I am sorry, I was carried away by my emotions. Anyway, I am not quite sure if I should write more in German so that he can fully understand my thoughts or just write in the language I am most comfortable:English and Filipino. It is because I still do not have the full confidence to use the German language. The translation I wrote there was purely rough. I am fully aware I got lots of error there. Still, I decided to publish it despite and inspite of errors it contains. I mean, one cannot learn without committing any mistake.

Anyway, I had blogged once that my DTZ exam was near. Today, I am proud to say that I have passed it! I am now certified that I can read, speak and write in B1 level of German! Here is the CEFR (Common European Framework of Reference) description of B1:

Can understand the main points of clear standard input on familiar matters regularly encountered in work, school, leisure, etc. Can deal with most situations likely to arise whilst travelling in an area where the language is spoken. Can produce simple connected text on topics which are familiar or of personal interest. Can describe experiences and events, dreams, hopes & ambitions and briefly give reasons and explanations for opinions and plans.


I know it is still not enough. However, it is enough for me to be able to go on to the next level. B2 classes will start on 3. September and it is only twice a week. That means that B2 will take around 6 months instead of 3 months. Now, the dilemna is, we are flying to the Philippines and will be staying there for 8 weeks! (Yes, we are! ) That means if ever I enroll for the next class, I am going to miss around 14-15 meetings (minus the Christmas break already) which is a lot and is not good for a learner since each day means harder yet important lessons. Therefore, I am thinking that I'd take that class when we get back from our tropical vacation. That also means that I will no longer be classmates with my friends. But it also means that I am going to win new friends.

It is totally different here and adjustment takes time. But I am glad that I am almost halfway there. I can say that I am confident enough to apply on real German jobs, or take Ausbildung. I just hope that these companies would really give me a chance to prove myself to them.

I can finally smell my beautiful future in the Land of Beer and Sausages!

Love Against All Odds (Liebe Entgegen Alle Ungleichheit)

All the dramas are through
(Alle Dramen sind vorbei)
All the tears are dried
(Das Weinen hat schon beendet)
We found a way to compromise
(Kompromise wird endlich gefunden)
Love has won the fight.
(Die Liebe hat den Kampf gewonnen).

I am smiling now
(Ich bin nun so glücklich)
The heavy weight is gone
(Das Gewicht wird weggenommen)
Love is truely magical
(Die Liebe ist wirklich magisch)
And I am glad I found love.
(Und ich bin froh, dass ich verliebt bin).

If you happen to read this,my baby
(Wenn du,mein Baby, liest den)
Rest assured all is back to normal
(Versichere dir, alles wieder okay)
What happened in the past is past
(Was passiert ist,ist schon vorbei)
What is important is the now.

(Die wichtigste ist was wir jetzt sind).
I love you and I always will
(Ich liebe dich und es ist für immer)
Be it raining or sun shining
(Egal ob es regnet oder die Sonne scheint)
My love will stay and fight till the end
(Meine Liebe bleibt und kämpft bis zu Ende)
Coz that is what love really means.
(Weil meine Liebe unendlich ist).

I love you so much my Baby!

Hello God

Hello God,

I missed you. I am sorry I went astray. I am sorry I kept on ignoring you.

And now I am on my lowest, I do not have any other person to turn to. Because I don't think other people would understand me. I know it's only You who can understand me and accept me despite my flaws. I know You will not turn me down because You are always full of love.

I think I understand now how You feel everytime I ignore You. I know now how bad You feel when You wanted to talk with me but I always keep myself busy of these worldly things. Then when I do not get what I want, I am mad at You. I had the taste of my own medicine. I am truly sorry. I now know why You bled so hard yet You still lived. It is so painful. The bleeding would not stop. Yet I am still alive.

Please God help me to get through this. I am weak. You are my strength. Please help me stand and be strong. Please God, sit beside me and keep me company. I am in so much pain, I need someone to be there for me as I cry all the pains out.

Thank You God for listening.

Amen.

Herzschmerzen

Was ist mit uns geworden?
Ich weiß gar nicht mehr.
Ich versuche immer die beste zu machen,
Trotzdem sind für dich nicht genug.
Warum bin ich immer, die einzige zu verändern?
Wenn du so wenig versucht hast, um zu verändern?
Ich fühle mich zu schwer,
Dass du mit mir böse bist,
Und nur wegen deinem Laster
Mit dem bin ich eifersüchtig.
Wenn du mehr Zeit für mich hast,
Dann wäre ich sehr glücklich.
Ich möchte nur sagen,
Wie ich mich wirklich fühle.
Im Moment bin ich müde,
Und mein Herz schmerzt so viel.
Ich vermisse dich.
Ich vermisse die Vergangenheit.
Ich hoffe, dass du in Zukunft wieder hier bist.
Weil ich dich liebe.
Ich warte auf dich.
Egal ob ich lange auf dich warten muss.
Egal ob mein Herz immer schmerzt.
Egal ob ich sterbe.
Weil ich dich liebe.
Ich liebe dich.
Bitte komm zurück.

I'll Fight For Our Love

I'm tired.
I am tired from crying.
I am tired from thinking where do I really belong.
But I will fight for you.
No matter how painful it may seem.
No matter if you see it or not.
I will fight.
I will forever hold on your words of love.
I will forever believe.
I will blindfold myself and go on following.
I have given you my vow.
And you gave me yours.
Therefore I will hold on that vow.
And stay and love you until forever.
Even if it hurts.
Even if I have to cry everyday.
Even if you do not see what I do for you.
Even if you don't believe.
I will be here to hold you.
To love you.
To care for you.
To fight for you.
I love you until the end of time.

Eye Opener

This morning, I had made a very important decision that shall change my future in so many ways. I told my husband about it and I'm so glad and lucky that he is happy with my decision and is willing to support me all the way. I've decided to pursue my Masters degree in Chemistry.

For months, I have been thinking about it. I have actually thought of just doing the Ausbildung in order to get a job fast. Worst, I had thought of abandoning my hard-earned degree and start anew. Then just yesterday, while passing my time through the internet, I thought of visiting the website of Goethe University in Frankfurt. Actually, the real reason was to check on the requirements for Germanistik studies. But as I browse the site and the uni-assist site, it all showed me signs that I can actually take Masters even if I had my Bachelor degree from the Philippines! Still, I was thinking twice because Chemistry is not just anything and it really requires concentration and seriousness. However, it occured to me, while taking a bath this morning, why would I waste this opportunity that is right in front of me? I mean, nothing would be lost if I try.

Germany is known to be the Motherland of Chemistry. That is a reason too why we had German as a Foreign Language back in the university, instead of Spanish or French which are more popular in the Philippines. It is because the best chemists came from Germany and lots of journals of great theories and hypotheses are written in German.

Hence, I am treading a new path. There is already a clearer vision in front of me. The path is now enlightened, and I already have my map. It makes me happy and determined. I am destined to be a chemist. Not only in the Philippines, but also here in Germany.

It's a long way ahead, but still I am optimistic that I can reach that goal in no time. I am going to be someone that my family and friends and country would be proud of.

I'm so excited to take the next step!

It's just funny how I get ideas and decisions while taking a bath.:-D

It's June Already!

I am being totally irresponsible! My last post here was way back September 2011!!! I guess, I owe some updates here. By the way, I have to warn you against tons of grammatical error because I am not being able to use my English here, as in totally. 

A week after my last post, I got a call from the German Embassy and informed me about the good news: my visa was approved! So I went back to Manila that week to submit a copy of my flight details and my passport. Then it took around 3 days and my passport arrived right in front our doorstep! But the stressful days were not done, I had to go to CFO to get my stickers and then had to go for some shopping. To cut it short, I arrived here in Germany on the sixth of October. 

Time runs real fast! It's almost 8 months since I came and reside here! It took 3 months though before I get to start on my language course again. It was because there was always no available slot for me. And just last month, I took my exam, DTZ (Deutsch für Zuwanderer), it is intended to measure how integrated we are already on the language. Until now, we are waiting for the result, though. So technically, I am again a bum: no school, no work, just chilling at home. I wanted to apply for Ausbildung, in fact, I already got a response from Veritas, but hubby said to wait a little longer, they are planning something for me in my old company. Maybe I'll wait until August, since the application deadline for Ausbildungplatz is by September. So I guess, I have to endure more months of boredom at home. It would have been a bit different if we live in a village that is like Gelnhausen or Lieblos: bus comes are every 30 minutes. Right where we live in, the bus does not have any concrete schedule (at least that is what I've observed), except for the time when the kids are about to go home from school, that is at 12noon and 1pm. I honestly miss living in the city.

That'll be all for now, since I am not making sense anyway. :D

Love

I am so grateful that I have met a man like him!

I love him until the end of time... :-)

Winter 2011

I was bored at home, so I decided to put on my boots and take a short walk. It was also when I filmed my Christmas greetings to my family. :D

Ausflug in Bamberg

October 2011. About a week after I came here in Germany, my ex-colleagues at Emerson Manila (Jena and Jamel) also came for the training! Hence, we went to explore BAMBERG! An old city at the State of Bayern. :D

i'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and am posting loooooottttssss of über-late photos!!! :D

Mein 28.Geburtstag

19th of December, 2011. A simple celebration with the love of my life at a Greek Restaurant. And also chat time with my family back in the Philippines! :D