A Lot Of Work Ahead

Dinala ko dito yung notebook ko nung teenager ako, where I write down my thoughts in poetry form. I am browsing through it tonight and realized, it's going to be a lot of work bago ko sya maipublish sa blog ko. They need a lot of revisions. But funny, or rather weird, there are around 6 or 7 types of penmanship. It made me think if ako ba talaga sumulat ng mga yun? May penmanship na I can't remember na tnry ko, parang sa ibang tao sya talaga. Then those poems and essays are dated, I felt sad, wala yung tula na sinulat ko spontaneously sa chem lab nung college. Tanda ko lang title nun was our lab room (Lab 14). It was sort of a farewell poem ko sa friends and colleagues ko nung college, I wrote it on our last lab work before finals. Tanda ko lang content but the exact words, di ko na maalala. I described there the types of people in our batch, how diverse our block was, yet we all became friends. I think I compared us to the chemicals, how one person may explode merely by sitting beside the other one. Kung sa logbook ko yun sinulat, then forever bye bye na nga, kasi we had termite problem sa old house sa San Jose and they ate my old books, notebooks and letters. I wish I can write it again... but I know even if I do, it's not the same anymore because the emotions I had writing it back then is not there anymore.

If you love writing poetry, you know what I mean... 

Work in Progress

Two or three days ago, I created a new WP blog. It was intended as my re-introduction sa language tutorial. However, dahil humabol pa ang Spätsommer, at may audio transcriptions pa akong pending, I reverted the blog to private muna. My plan for that is, a language tutorial blog na para lang akong nakikipagchikahan. Kaso dahil nga asa garden pa ko most of the time, yung first two entries ko sounded too dry and formal. Kinuha ko lang kasi yung old posts ko sa Pinays in Germany blog. So as soon as tapos ko na lahat ng transcription projects ko at ang autumn ay 100% andito na, I will sit on that blog. At dahil very casual ang plan ko dun, it will be in taglish, like dito. It will not be like my other WP blogs na englishan ang dating. Actually, unang plan ko dito ko sya gawin (free muna kasi wala akong budget to buy domain for that), kaso nalilito ako sa layout dito. I dunno if possible dito yung categories as menu tabs sa taas ng page (noob lang sa Blogger, sorry 😅). Sa WP kasi possible yun kasi Reena already did that sa layout ng Pinays in Germany, so nakapag-playaround na ko sa editing ng layout and alam ko na where to find it, etc.

Ayun, just sharing my upcoming plans once the cold weather kicks in. I also plan na yun na din unti unting start ko mag-accept ng language learners for tutorial. In any way, I need to earn again, nauubos na savings ko 🙈. So like what Steven Bansil said in one of his vlog, find something that your happy to do, and not because you are forced to do so you won't easily get burnt out working. I think this is mine. Hindi ako pang-vlog, shy ako sa camera, so I will just let my fingers do the talking for me.

Enough with my brain farts for today. I will enjoy the last day of sun for this year. Ciao und bis zum nächsten Mal!

Living in Time of CoViD-19

Today I ranted sa FB page ng Pinays in Germany. Then now I realized, medyo mainit din ulo ko nga kanina. Maybe na-trigger din lang si Kuya kasi nakuha ko pang magpost about Wanderlust Weekend sa panahon ng pandemic kaya maybe kaya nya naisip, mayayaman ang mga nasa Germany. But still, I don't know why such stereotype, na porke carry magtravel, mayaman na? And again, it doesn't give him the right to use F-word sa comment nya and murahin ang Germans in general, for what reason? He said sa comment for being rude and irresponsible, but sa direct message, he mentioned for not being responsive agad just because he is poor and needs help. Di ko nagets ang logic, nakakainit lang ng ulo, hence the rant. I mean, it is okay to ask for help pero bakit ganun ang dating nya, parang kasalanan ng mga taga-Germany bakit may mahihirap, at parang obligasyon ng grupo namin na sagutin agad ang mga messages. Our group is not a charity organization, I started the blog simply as hobby.

Let me explain it here again how unfair these stereotypes towards people living in Germany are. Not because Germany is a first-world country eh automatic mayayaman na lahat ng nakatira dito. Wrong. People must work to be able to eat and afford a place to live. People earn euros, yes malaki palit nito to Philippines pesos, but take note, WE SPEND IN EUROS TOO. So ang kinikita namin, parang sa Pinas din lang at regular kang empleyado, sapat lang sa pang-araw araw na pangangailangan. So saan nanggagaling ang paniniwala na mayayaman ang mga nakatira sa Germany? I still cannot understand where this comes from. Just like in any other countries, we also have beggars, homeless, orphans, families living in homes without heater, old people collecting trash just so they can exchange it for cash and be able to do groceries. Just like any other countries, Germany has also its own sets of issues to face before and during this time of pandemic. I guess, it would be quite helpful to post as well, how Germany handles the pandemic, reasons kung bakit we can still live a near-normal life despite the pandemic. It has nothing to do with being mayaman kaya we can afford to travel locally.

What I've observed on how Germany handles this pandemic:

• There is strict rule of wearing masks when entering establishments and riding public transportation. You're free to remove mask if you are in the open, but make sure you wear one if you know you'd be in direct contact with other people. That's why medyo kinakilabutan ako now sa pinapanood ko na soccer game (DFB Pokal), the coach is not wearing mask and then started discussing with the side referee, yung naiimagine ko he is shouting, and super lapit nya sa referee. I can imagine the droplets flying. I know they are not positive of the virus, but still the fact, na baka on the way to stadium ay baka may unknown contact sila, which makes them unknown carrier and then they start throwing droplets to each other while discussing.
• Business as usual. But establishments are required to strictly follow safety measures, some of which are:
• Restaurants: Servers wearing face shield. Tables, chairs and floors are regularly disinfected. There is a must to consolidate guest information, i.e. name, address and contact number, so it would be easy for contact tracing in case something happens during that visit (for example, one employee tested positive for that day).
• Shops: Customers must wear masks and observe social distancing. In some stores, they distribute chips at the entrance, if there are no more chips available, then they already have reached the limit for number of customers inside and you must wait until somebody comes out again and return the chip. The chip is of course regularly disinfected.
• Hotels: Same rules with restaurant applies. There is also hand disinfectant by the door, so you are expected to disinfect yourself first before going inside.
• Some offices are in full operation. Some have half of their employees on home office, but most are already business as usual. Regular disinfection in the office is expected though and transparency, meaning if you are feeling sick, then don't go to office. If tested positive, then inform the company immediately. Bawal sinungaling.
• I am not quite sure with churches as I am no longer a regular church-goer here. But when I was in Cologne, there was no mass, but I get to see the priests roaming around the cathedral and welcoming the guests. One priest even played the organ for us. The seats are also marked, in one church bench, two ends lang allowed may umupo and then one bench in front and behind you are empty. The entrance and exit doors are also marked, kaya kahit tired na ko maglakad, I was forced to see the whole cathedral because I cannot use the same door I went in to go out. I needed to walk the whole cathedral and follow the rope towards exit.
• Schools are in mixed virtual and physical attendance.
• Vacations are encouraged to be only within Germany. Those who will travel outside of Germany, esp. those who went to high risk countries, are required to subject themselves to swab test upon arrival and it is at their own costs. Failure to do so means paying fine of €25,000.00! 
• People losing their jobs due to this pandemic receive social help. But it is not a social help like ayuda in Philippines. That money, called Arbeitslosengeld, was already paid by the person before. It is part of the many salary deductions we have. Freelancing is also a thing nowadays, a little project from time to time can also be a big help financially.
• People in contact with a positive patient but no symptoms are advised to do home quarantine, no test. If with symptoms, then they will be tested. If symptoms are worsened, i.e. problem with breathing, then time to go to the hospital. You see, wala din talagang mass testing na nagaganap, we just rely and hope that an individual is sensitive and disciplined enough na wag lumabas ng bahay if they think they had direct contact. 

As you can see. New normal is doable. Kailangan lang ng disiplina at matutong dumiskarte at makuntento sa kung anong meron. If the government is not initiating anything, maybe about time to make it as people's initiative, for the good of all people. Pointing fingers will not help in this time of pandemic. 

I Live to Inspire

 For quite a while now, especially whenever depression gets the control over me, I have been asking the universe, why am I still here? Why did I wake up again after that almost a month of slumber after my operation in 2017? Why do I still live, if living means being not able to do stuff I used to do before? It has always been my question since I woke up from coma in 2017. My therapists and nurses all kept on telling me, "you are still here because you have a mission." But what is that? I can't seem to find the reason no matter how hard I search...

Until today when I had a chat with a distant relative in Australia in connection to my Facebook post last Thursday. 

Last Thursday was literally Throwback Thursday for me. I was cleaning my external hard drive and saw photos from 2017 that didn't make it online. Photos after I woke up. Because I was still chained to lots of cables and was wearing hospital dress, I opted not to share it before. One, to not shock my family further because they had enough shock the moment I didn't wake up after the operation and two, I felt so ugly there. But last Thursday was different. In my mind, I said "so what if I am ugly on these pictures, I wanted them to see how I fought the battle." I kept on posting about my sickness, but I am not sure if they really know how the battle really looked like. So just to give people an idea what and how I looked like, I posted the 3 photos I had. It was for me just some sort of reminiscing, and thanking all my prayer warriors around the world because of them, the One Above gave me another life. It was literally "just another Facebook post" for me. 

Little did I know, it was more for somebody I know dearly.

Ate is currently facing her own battles. She did not mention what it is, but she has been doubting herself and her strength and the grace of the Lord. She has a son and he's still small, hence all these anxieties. She said, in the middle of her anxiety attack, my post showed up on her timeline as the first one. Then she pulled herself back and determined to fight. She told herself, "Cy did it. She has been battling a lot since a little girl and she continues to win each fight. So what do I have for an excuse to give up now? If she made it, so can I." She told me that I am a living testimony of how vast God's love is for us, that even the impossible can still be possible in God's grace.

Her words opened my mind why I am still here. 

I am here to continue to inspire. There are a lot out there who are at the verge of giving up. And the reason why I am given a second life is to remind these people that God's grace is endless. That God answers prayers. That nothing is impossible to Him if we only fervently pray. That we should not doubt Him. He is there. We may not feel His presence, but He is at work.

Hence, from now on, I can also easily fight my depression by telling myself, 

I am here to fight until the end. I will not just sit and let the enemy destroy me. I will make sure I am giving it a good fight. I'd rather die in the battlefield fighting until the end, until my last breath. 

And you who's reading this, should think the same way too! Life is beautiful! :)  

A Trip to Cologne, Germany

 Last month, we had a short trip to Cologne. I may hurt a few of you with my words, but Cologne is not my city. I know a lot of Filipinos who live in Cologne, or dreams to live in Cologne. Sadly, I am not one of you. The Cathedral of Cologne has always been in my bucket list, and now that I already visited it, I got no more reasons to go back to Cologne. The cathedral is definitely a place you have to see at least once in your life.  (You can find the photos I took of Cologne Cathedral in my Tumblr page, just click here.) 

Kölner Dom

I think it has to do that I have always loved the country side. Cologne is too chaotic for me. It is pandemic and yet I was overwhelmed with how many people are roaming around the city. It was quite too much for an introvert like me. We rode the Kölner Seilbahn and took a walk at Rheinpark. However, we find the park like a desert: despite the heat of the summer, we can't find not even a small kiosk where we can get some drinks. 

The city just lacks luster for me, aside from Cologne Cathedral (and Hard Rock Cafe), I don't know what else is worth to see in that city. 

Hubby and I outside Hard Rock Cafe

My stepson, Tim, met up with us at Hard Rock Cafe for dinner,
he's the reason why we went to Köln

Saw this at the Schaufenster of Tourist Information

It made me appreciate Frankfurt am Main more. Frankfurt is a city of vielfalt: business streets, historical sites, churches and cathedral, shopping alleys, university, streets for party and booze, museums, and more.