Life Goes On

My fight against Marfan Syndrome continues. I had my open surgery last May, wherein my aorta in the tummy region was fixed with prosthetics to remove the aneurysm. The prosthetics run from my lower rib till just above my thigh. It left me a really big scar which would forever remind me of the battle I had been. But it was not just the scar that made this memorable. The operation was really complicated and I had hemmorrhage during the operation. It was comparable to slight stroke and if it was not bad enough, I also had pneumonia and some other internal organ problems. I was in coma for almost a month. My family and friends already readied themselves for the worst. It was difficult and based on their stories, they slowly lose their hope the longer I sleep. But I survived. I woke up after around 3 weeks and 4 days but without any memory. I saw my husband beside me crying but I did not reognize him, I was just staring at him and wondering who he is and why he's crying. After a week, h...

It was in year 2009 when I decided to take the risk again and begin to love again. It was February in 2009 when my husband and I decided to try it, to know if we are meant for each other. Others did not believe we will make it. Some thinks it was just a fleeting moment, a spark that will die just as fast how it came. But we proved them wrong. We are now on the way to our 6th wedding anniversary, and we are already on our 8 years of relationship. And Darmstadt is sort of our first real date as a couple, but together with some friends. Sharing you some random photos taken in 2009 around Darmstadt. [gallery ids="180,178,176,175,179,182,201,202,184,183,186,203,204" type="slideshow"] They say it's no use to look back in the past, but I see it differently. When I look back on these old photos of the past, it makes me realize how beautiful my life is and how blessed I am to have experienced them and meet those people from the past.

It's almost a year since my last post about my battle. Since my last post, I had been into series of check ups and around three or four hospitalization. It was found out that I have a "deadly" allergy to CT-scan contrasts. I was hospitalized thrice because of it, the first one was not severe, but the second and the last one was really deadly. It was then advised not to undergo the scans again. Which made it more challenging for my doctors to monitor my stents. For a year now, I honestly feel much better. There are pains once in a while, but a rest is enough and I am back on my feet. I just noticed though that severe weather temperature is not my friend. Winter this year was a bit colder than the past winter I experienced and going out was a real struggle for me. Ten minutes out in the cold and it feels like I am fainting anytime. Hence, almost whole winter I was just home. I may feel quite well recently, but inside of me, something's waiting to be repaired/ healed. Th...

As mentioned few months back, this is already my nth blog. But it feels too empty. So I decided to challenge myself. In the next days, I will be posting photos of the past, photos that I posted in my old blog, which I deleted during my breakdown moments around two years ago. It will be a form of reminiscing how my life has been after all these years. What had changed and what stayed. Because life is not just about living up to the present, but also about reminiscing the past and looking forward to the future.

"Ich bin dann mal weg" is for me one of the best books in this modern times. Honestly, I haven't read the book yet but I have seen the film. And it made me look forward to reading the book. But I just need to post it as soon as possible about how it affected me. It moved me in thousand ways. As you may have known, I am sick and each second of my life feels like my last. Unlike other terminal illness wherein you know how much time you still have here on earth, I don't know mine. This is aneurysm, and it is eating up my rational thinking. It pulls me down to the darkness of depression... but that film pulled me up! I now try to live up to the philosophy that was mentioned in the film: we all have our own Camino de Santiago. From the film, I have learned that we are all pilgrims of different art. The Way of St. James is not just one, we all tread our own pilgrim's path and it is called LIFE. It is up to us how to make this pilgrimage a memorable one, for me and for t...