Dear Friend,

Napakasaya kong mabasa ang mga pagbabago sa buhay mo. Happy to see you succeed and your family growing. Ang laki na ng panganay mo. Nakakatuwa. 

At nakakamiss din ang nakaraan.

Yung dati na araw-araw nating pagkkwentuhan, be it in form of text messages, YM chats o personal man sa work. Yun yung mga panahon na I was healing from a very bad relationship. Dahil sayo, na-enjoy ko single life. Yung tipong, never kong kinaawaan sarili ko for being single, kasi masaya ko sa circle of friends ko na single din, at isa ka dun. Naalala ko, may blog din ako noon purely about you, nung knwento ko na may German bf na ko. Ngayon narealize ko bakit ka umiwas for a while. You felt betrayed kasi di tayo sabay umalis sa singlehood, iniwan kita sa ere (sorry naman). Then nagkita tayo sa DFA nung nagrenew ako ng passport, at what a coincidence na ikaw din. Nakwento mong wala ka na din sa singlehood, pero mas advanced pa din status ko, kasi married na ako nun. But that day, nakita ko kung gaano ka kasaya to have her, and tama ako, kita mo naman ngayon, 2 na chikiting nyo! We planned to meet again para makilala ko sya, plano was after ng out of the country trip nyo, kaso umalis na ko.

Seriously now, gusto ko lang pasalamatan ka sa napakagandang memories. At kahit na ang chats natin ay limited na ngayon sa pagbati ng "happy birthday" at "merry Christmas" sa isa't isa, ramdam ko pa din na isa ka pa din sa mga taong matatawag kong tunay na kaibigan. 

Promise na talaga, sa sunod na uwi namin, meet up na tayo, bago pa maging 5 ang anak nyo.

Tandaan mo, andito lang ako, friends for life, tik! ;-) 

Happiness Is A Choice

I used to be a grumpy one. It seems like nothing ever pleases me. I always felt like the world has turned its back on me. My best friend used to say I am a sad person not because I am always in deep sh*t, but because I always failed to see the beauty in my life. Before, I could not understand her, what beauty in my life had she seen in mine that I failed to see. I am an illegitimate child, though I was able to carry my dad's name by law, all my childhood Christmases and New Years were spent only with my mom. Then, just these past few days, I decided to list down the blessings I had in the past that I forgot to be thankful of:

1. I am alive! My mom gave life to me despite the complicated future awaiting us.
2. Despite the fact that I didn't see my dad that often in the past, he still sent me to the best schools in town.
3. My mom is still there to fight for me and take care of me, even if she got all the right to breakdown and abandon me.
4. My grandpa was always there for me, and filled up for my dad. Even if he's in heaven now, I can still feel his presence in my life, still there for me, guiding supporting and protecting me.
5. I was gifted with a good brain, hence I am always on the list of honor students and always one of those favored by our teachers.
6. We got a house over our heads even if it is just a small one.
7. I got my friends who accepted me for who I am and for whatever kind of family I came from.
8. I was able to get through all the sicknesses I had in the past: heart disease that was diagnosed at the age of 2 which miraculously was healed at the age of 12 (without any operation!), dengue fever which was luckily still at the milder stage (but I had to stay at the hospital for 7 days).
9. As I grow up, my half-brothers and half-sister learned to accept me and my mom and are closer to me and mom than their own mom (except for the youngest who is still aloof to me until now).
10. When I had to take the licensure board exam, I passed it at one take, even if honestly, I spent most of my review days dining out alone or with friends, sleeping, chatting with my roomies and on every social networking sites there is.
11. Finding a job is always a breeze for me, I send my resume, they call me for interview as soon as they received my CV, and then a day after my interview, they'd call me for salary negotiation. It has always been like that, hence I always have the best companies on my list to choose from. This is true for me even now that I am in Germany and my German is still that bad, a week after I signed up for the online job agent, I received an e-mail asking me to contact them for a possible job interview.
12. I met and married the greatest man in the world, next to my grandpa and my uncles. I never thought that I'd be loved this way in my entire life.

Now that I learned to turn on the light, I realized that my best friend is right, I got lots of reason to be happy about and stop living in the gloom. I thank her for reminding me to turn on the light and see all the beauty in my life. Happiness is indeed a choice, it is up to us whether we'd forever walk in the darkness or turn on the light that we always forget we always carry in our pockets.