Thursday, December 4, 2008

Tiring but Crazy Day

This day is totally crazy! Here's what happened today:

1. It's raining the whole day, not snow this time, but just rain.

2. I have dysmenorrhea, so I was not able to eat my breakfast, I was nauseating the whole morning, bad start of the day.

3. The manager was out of the office, without notice (AWOL kumbaga, hahahaha!This marked the start of a very good day, despite the dysmenorrhea.).

4. We didn't ordered ahead at the cafeteria so we had to eat our lunch outside the office (and it took us an hour and half outside again).

5. After lunch, my trainer, Helmut, said I can buy off my time, go back to production anytime I feel going back (I thought, what?!? we went out too long, and you're allowing me to do nothing?) but I felt guilty so I went back at quarter before 2pm.

6. We were telling jokes and stories for half an hour.

7. Worked on the customer's software revision for an hour.

8. Had some coffee for 30 minutes (only Helmut and Uwe, I was just busy chatting and browsing the net, and the whole production and admin was already looking for the two guys I am with since Helmut is the boss when the Big Boss is out).

9. I went to the toilet for 15 minutes because Aunt Flo's here, grrr! (That's the nastiest for this day, it hurts real bad!)

10. Checked on the status of our analyzers at the temperature chamber and long term reliability test for 30 minutes.

11. Prepared shipping documents for one of the analyzers, and left the other four for tomorrow.

So, if we are to calculate my efficiency this day based on the analyzers or customer requests, that is, 2 completed tasks divide by 6 analyzers at hand equals 33%... Hmmm, not bad at all, hahaha! I'm bad...

Talking about the old saying:

"Pag wala ang pusa, magulo ang daga."

Applicable din pala sa mga German yun?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sleepy but Itching To Blog

Hotel internet connection is a freak... When Ody was here, it was down all the time, actually, it started Tuesday last week... And now, it's up and running again... It's good it's back, however, I feel somewhat bad because I did boast them to Ody, but when she got here, there was not WiFi in my room... Oh well, that's life...

I am sleepy, but I haven't eaten my dinner yet. Now that Ody is gone, I'm back to take out and noodles dinner, my friend and colleague, Jenah, is too afraid to go out in the cold. It's true, it's cold, but I don't wanna die hungry as well... I'm back to venturing Gelnhausen on my own at night to find a place to eat...

I am sleepy, yet here I am, blogging... I have been itching to blog for a week now, and since the WiFi is down, I was not able to do that, and I don't do this in the office as well, I am serious with my work there, I enjoy the company of male engineers there, I am their princess and Melanie is the queen, hahaha!

I am sleepy, but I have to eat first... So I gotta go, I gotta pig in my cup noodles now... :D

Things I Want To Do Before I Die

I think I can now die, I got to do some things I want to do first. Top of my list is, be able to step the land of Germany, and well, currently, I am stepping on it... I got a good job, not that rewarding monetarily, but still, I know, I belong... I had a boyfriend before, which did not work, but that's fine, at least, I did had a boyfriend even once... I got to see a snow, yeah, too shallow, but that's simply one great way of rewarding myself... I got to witness a sunset even if it snows, and I got to see sunset and sunrise here in Germany...I got the role in Cenakulo, which Alan said would be impossible before...

Basic things that completes my bucket list is almost done, and even if there are things left undone, I don't care, I am ready now... I can now die...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

What a day!

The snow started to fall already, but it's what they call a wet one, mixture of rain and ice. Here around the hotel, one wouldn't notice it, unless it starts to build up on the car's roof. It's because it melts here easily because of the river beside us, they said it's warmer here (huh?-3 deg is warm!). So Gertrud, our plant manager's secretary gave us a call and asked if we want to see the first snow falls and step on it, so we said, yes, of course! She picked us up at half past 3, and went directly to their farm at Geiselbach, a village at Barbaria (in city of Munich). Everything was white already from afar, but if you get to see it up close, you can still see the soil, really thin! And the snow falls are small balls, not that big yet, and it do feels wet, wet snow is indeed a right term.

Afterwards, we headed to meet her daughter, however, we didn't find her, we ended watching Bernhard on his final exercise for the orchestral concert tomorrow. I was surprised, our Software Engineer is a known conductor here! Then, I asked her what Glühwein tastes like, she said, "we'll get one tonight, let's go to Aschaffenburg, there is a flower fair and they serve Glühwein." And off we went, but before going there for the wine, we go see the castle first somewhere, but too bad, it was already dark, the photos aren't that good anymore. We'll just go back there one day for the Kodak moments, since it's just one train ride, riding a Santa's train for only 50eu back and forth...

But nothing beats the happiness I felt as I watch the snow falls by the farm, with the beautiful view of sunset... It's something priceless! No words can describe how happy we were by the farm on that mountain. I wish we could go back there one day when the snow is pretty thick...

Glühwein!!!


it's half empty already... :D

Yeah, finally I was able to taste the Glühwein! Thank you so much Gertrud for this great day! It's red wine, no doubt, only STEAMING HOT and served in mugs, not on wine glasses. There were lemon slices on the pot, but I can't taste the lemon on my drinks. And I was amazed by the kids there who drinks it bottoms up! But what's good with it was, I never felt anything after, it's like I just had a hot tea.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Flight back to Pinas

Start:     Dec 20, '08 11:00a
End:     Dec 21, '08
I'm so excited! Yey!

Phoenix Generation




I came across the Friendster account of our HS batch... Grabe, kakamiss... Nakaka-touch din ang content ng graduation invitation namin... At ang ganda na ng facilities ng CALC ha, walang wala sa facilities na kinalakihan at minahal ko...

I miss high school so much... Wish I could turn back time...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Updating the Outdated

Okay, I’ve been here at Germany for like 11 days now, and not even a blog was made here! Well, it isn’t my fault! The IT issued this notebook a little too late (and take note, not even one tool is up now!!!).
How do I find Germany? Hmmm… Good question! I’ll try to put into list the things that I like and do not find that interesting living here, though I don’t have much experience yet since I’ve never been to other places other than Gelnhausen and Hasselroth where my hotel and company is located respectively.
1. I love the weather, though it’s very cold compared to Philippines, I think I can deal with it, even if at times I do get a nosebleed due to too much low temperature when I go out at night. Currently, it’s raining, and we’re expecting wet snow by tomorrow.
2. I love the language. Well, I did love it ever since, I just got the chance to see a lot of native speakers of Deutsch here (not only Ody this time, hehehe), and they’re so cute.
3. I like the people. Except for that two drunkards that made me ran last Saturday, I like everyone. Everyone greets everyone by the street, the shops, the church and the restaurants. They are all so friendly unlike what most people think Germans are (I even have a crush on one of the engineers, ssshhh!).
4. Most of them are Catholic too, so I love their religion as well.
5. I love the places I so far had been. Well, Gelnhausen in particular is so beautiful, with the old houses, and churches, it made me feel like I’m travelling back to Romanticism era. I’ll try to post some pics here, only after I get the chance to borrow the data cable from my friend, hehehe…
6. I hate the food. There are foods that do get what my tastebuds are craving for, but then, they are in gigantic serving! But most foods already tastes bland for me, and I hate it.
7. I hate the length of flight! It’s sooooo long and tiring!!!
That’s it for now! I’ll try to add up on the list when I get to see other cities, and that is probably when Ody comes around for vacation.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Going Back To Where I Used To Be

My other cyberspace is up and running again, been blogging there for days already, but I chose to blog here today. Why? Because this is the place where I know my emotions most fit in.

For months, I thought I'm fine, or maybe I just bought that idea to keep myself off from thinking too much. Then, out of the blue, here it comes again. I know I can't blame anybody, all I can blame on right now is myself. Why can't I completely move on? Why do I keep on hurting myself? Why do I continuously love him and hope that there'll be another chance for us again? Why am I so blind and weak when it comes to him? Why can't I just utter the words goodbye whenever I'm facing him?

I hate him for making my life miserable, but I hate myself more than anybody else for loving him despite everything that's obviously happening between us.

The time is not right, we both know that. There won't be an "us" again, we know that, but we keep our eyes closed on those facts. I'm so stupid that I don't know what to do and say without hurting him in anyway.

Damn it!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

My Current Blogsite is Down

Darn it! I cannot blog at my i.ph blog for 3 days now, ampf!

yun lang, hahaha!

Oo nga pala, I got home at 1:30am from work, coz of the meeting. Well, am still somewhat lucky, kasi earlier daw, there was a shoot out sa area where I usually pass by (Munoz market), according to my tito. Katakot talga, then by 27th, 12mn na out ko, huhuhu... Kakatakot talga pag ganung time even if madami pa ding people dito sa Metro. Oh well, what can I do? That's what my work calls for.

Then on the 1st of November, lipat kami ng station beside the web support, grrr!

By the way, it's my Schengen Visa interview this coming Tuesday, so wish me luck! And pray for me to pass it, multiple visa kasi inapply sa kin ng manager ko eh... Unlike my colleague na single entry lang... I really need prayers this time...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Updates! Updates!

Funny, I blogged my rants first thing here after being absent for more than a month...

Updates! Updates!

First, Germany invitation is already on its way, so probably, Visa application will commence next week.

Second, there's a little friction in the office due to the upcoming migration thing, and now, our division is caught in between, grrr!

Third, as what I had blogged earlier, grrr!

Fourth, Christmas and New Year will be celebrated here in the Philippines! Yipee! Be back by December 2 and leave again by January 10... Whoa! They do got a lot of money to spend, huh!

Fifth, I miss this site...I hate it, blogger is not allowed, plus, my proxy was already detected by the IT, so I cannot access the FS as well. Boring life, I know, but I have to bear with it till my Citrix access is up... Just a few more months to wait...

Pressured Ako!

Okay, so now Ate Shie has a bf na...And Jen2 has her too...Now, all eyes are on me...

"Why don't get a new one now?"

Damn it!

But luckily, I love Ate Shie's line: "wait till 30's to get a new one..."

Hahaha!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Just Came From A Visit

I just came from a visit, and of all the visits I've done, this branch was the worst... Well, what to expect if the mall itself seems to have been left behind and forgotten by time... But I guess, that is not a reason for them not to stay on standards...

I hope my report would awaken their management and do something on that store...

 

Blogging Again Before the Start of the Week

Just came from a store visit and I am not satisfied this time. I think I did not felt full this time after dining out... I did not like the food presented and the place was dirty... I hope my report would help them out...

Me and my friends are supposed to be having coffee after my visit, but then, Jay got afraid of the rain and asked it to be postponed... and it happened again! I hope next week it'll push through na... Sobrang tagal ng plan na di matuloy-tuloy eh...

September 7 would be the UAAP CDC! And me and my cousin is planning to go... Siguro dun na lang ako sasama sa pack, tagal na nila ko hinahanap, according sa forum namin, hahaha! Sa CDC, I'll do my best na makapunta, kahit pa puyat ako from Summit ng September 6.

Yes, September 6 may Summit kami sa SMX and it's going to be '80's theme! And I still don't have anything to wear for that day! Sayang ang 15k if di ako mageeffort sa costume noh!

I am gonna miss this site again for a week... Another week without blogspot...

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Blogging Back Again: Eraserheads Update

It's been a month, and I really miss this site... But what can I do, eh banned eto sa office...

Don't worry, I'd still visit this site from time to time....

One week to go and it's Eraserheads' reunionm conceert, but so far, here are the updates about the concert ticket err VIP passes:

1. Michael Buhay pa din ang laman ng Marlboro site according to listers
2. Nagmessage si Marcus pero gaya pa din ng dati, kaadikan lang ang mensahe.
3. Nasa kongreso pa din ang issue ng DOH sa PM at E-heads
4. Nilipat daw sa Fort Open Ground ang venue.
5. Nagtatanong na din ako sa sarili ko kung matutuloy pa ba ang ma-issue na concert na ito...

Hay, kahit kelan talga, laging may issue ang E-heads, kaya naman patok sila lagi sa masa...

Friday, August 22, 2008

Earning More...!

Kala ko nung una joke lang, sabi nung manager ko, check ko website para malaman ko na totoo sila, www.frontlinefocus.com pero dapat sa kanya ko mag-register para mas mabilis ma-process ang application ko... So go naman ako, dahil kilala ko sya, at credible ang background nya (fyi, manager po sya ng QA sa Hitachi GST). Bigay ko lahat ng need na information nya, tapos eto lang gagawin ko:

1. Certify ko sarili ko online as soon as mareceive ko na shopper ID ko at password sa mail.

2. Certify ko sarili ko sa brand na ivvisit ko.

-at both yan nagawa ko in 1 hour lang. Tpos call sya sa fone ko at eto ang step 3.

3. Visit the shop assigned (either Pizza Hut, KFC or Taco Bell). Wala gagawin, pasok sa restau, order ng gaya ng dati, gumamit ng CR, balik sa table, maghintay sa order, magbayad, kunin ang receipt at lumabas.

4. PAg-uwi, accomplish the report online gamit ang shopper ID at password na nasa e-mail.

5. Wait ng bagong assignment thru text or pwede din mag-assign sa sarili sa website.

6. Wait ng 1 month, at lahat ng nagastos mo, plus token fee isesend sa BDO account mo, or G-cash or Smart Money, kung alin dyan ang naging option ko, yun ay ang BDO.

at ang pinaka-importante sa lahat:

7. KEEP YOURSELF A SECRET sa lahat ng store na pupuntahan mo.

Nabusog na ko, may pera pa ko... Maliit nga lang ang token fee, Php120 per visit, pero ok na din, kasi lahat naman ng ginastos ko sa pag-dine or take out or delivery, lahat yun binalik din eh.

Kaw, interested ka din ba? Email mo lang ako, at isesend na ni Miss Kaye ang invitation nya sa 'yo para makasama ka na din namin. Mga taga-QC area, I encourage you to join, maawa kayo sa kin, mag-isa lang ako nagrround sa lahat ng store sa buong QC (huhuhuhu...)...

e-mail me at: cy_leeanne@live.com

Enjoy your meal, Ma'am/ Sir!

 

Edited: Kahit sa'n pwede, di lang Manila, paki-send na lang ng mail sa live account ko para ma-sendan namin kayo ng details and invitation.

James, censya, di ko makareply sa comment mo, naka-proxy lang ako eh... Bulacan ka, pwedeng pwede ka din! Email mo na lang ako... ;)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

It's Rainy Days Again... :(

After few days of a beautiful sunshine, here comes the rain again... How I wish I'm still a student, so I don't have to struggle with flood and heavy rains. All I have to do is tuck myself under my blanket and sleep... But then, I am already part of the real world, and I have nothing else to do with that, unless I go back to school as M.S. student, which I no longer consider...

There's another storm that's within the country, and named after my best friend, Karen. Yep, Karen is the name... And it's really raining cats and dogs since early this morning. I felt lazy to leave the house, especially when I heard that classes are suspended in Metro Manila. But I have to leave because the sad part is, I AM NO LONGER A STUDENT....

I miss high school days... I miss college days... I miss those days that has gone by...

Real world is here, and I have to face it. Tonight, upon going home, wish me safety to reach our house amidst this great storm named Karen...

I suddenly missed Karen...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Living My Life Anew

I am now starting my life anew. I've been with Sykes now for more than a month, and I am loving my life. I don't have to wake up too early to catch the shuttle, nor should I force myself to sleep at night when I still want to do other stuff.

This is the life that I really wanted, and I am loving it.

 

By the way, I started another blog at dot ph. You may visit it, though it's totally new, I've posted the URL below for you:

http://www.angelcyanne.i.ph

 

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A Better Life

I dunno if this is always normal. when you are in the middle of your blogging, when you suddenly lost your connection, and you have to re-type everything again... It's just that all my ideas were already put into words,and found out there was no draft saved (oh well, my fault too, I did not start my blog here, I made it directly at Multiply), so here I am again, re-typing what was already said...



A better life, I could say it has already begun. I got the job I was waiting for, I got the chance now to visit that country that I could only imagine during our classes way back in college. Yes, I am already with them, and soon will be flying to Germany for 2 months training. After which, I will be bonded to them for 2 years. Well, 2 years is not that long, but then, together with the bond is me not being able to transfer from one division to another (from Germany to US or APAC), not even to other department (Process to Training)... Well, I guess, July 17 really marked the last day for me to see "him". No chance for me to be part of their training team, not only because of the bond, but more so because our company will soon be separated from our existing company that bonds us right now. It's the sad part of being bonded and being part of this very strong company, that they have the potential of standing on its own. But the best part of this is, I got a tenure, I would never ever have any chance of being unemployed, I will have this job for the rest of my life. And I was able to say that not merely because of the 2 year bond I will have after this initial training in Germany on August, but more so because my German manager wants us to visit Germany twice each year for training, hence, the 2 years bond will always be renewed every year, and in this case, the APAC visits are not yet included on that.

Now, I can confidently say that life has been so good, and the best of life is already here. All I need to do is take good care of it and hold on to it. Life has been so good to me, I could not ask for more, and I AM LOVING IT! ;)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Time Has Come

I had always wanted to blog this out but due to some unknown reasons, I do not have my access at the office again!

Damn IT, they don't want to give me back my internet, I will be staying for two more weeks na lang naman eh...

Yes, I resigned, and the reason why? It's because I got the job at Emerson, and I will be startiong with them on the 7th, though, I don't know yet when my flight will be going to Germany, but I'm just overly excited... See, I have been reviewing my German language time and again, hahaha!

Wish me luck at Emerson!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

getting impatient

it's monday and there's no update still regarding my past medical examination... sigh! i'm getting impatient here and i really want to leave... but if i am not going to be called again, i am fully aware of the reason anyway, there was a finding regarding my heart condition... i'm afraid that my childhood condition is repeating... and this is all because of the stress and problems that i had gone through and currently going through...


i want to break free... i want a new life... i want a new place... this place isn't the place for me...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Another Beginning

This is my nth blog ever... Created this to be some sort of my online dear diary... Only me and me alone can read this... Anyway, to start with...

Currently, I am killing my time for doing one thing for three days now: GENERATE A NEW SCHEDULE FOR THE CHEMICAL GROUP OPERATORS. This is sooooo difficult for all of them comes from 14 groups, and our new manager wants them on two groups, whoa! How can I make it that way? I am no good with planning or anything... How I wish it's Wednesday so that I can already complete my medical and forward my resignation on this damn company... Am no longer happy here... I want to be away from here... Away forever, and no coming back... I want to visit Germany with my new co-employees and friends... I'm so excited I wanna do it all as soon as possible...


So far, that's the latest with my life and I am not good with that... Except of course for my appontment on Wednesday...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Bye, Tito Danny... I Will Never Ever Forget You...


May 14th of 2008...

One memorable date for me, as this reminds me of that someone, 3 years ago...

And now, this date will be memorable for the rest of my life...

6:30am: I was asleep at the office when I felt someone tapped my lap. I woke up and saw no one around me... So I went back to sleep till the bell rang... And went on with my work...

1:30pm: My cousin went online with the status message: Life is too short. I greeted her belated happy birthday since the 12th was her birthday and I was not able to greet her... She said thanks and told me the worst news this year.... Our beloved, Tito Danny passed away that morning...

I was not able to control my feelings, I cried at the office... I cried and cried and tried to call my mom. But she was not answering the phone. I don't want to believe the bad news, but in my heart, I know it was the truth...

4:00pm: Mom already texted me saying she doesn't want to tell me yet until my interview was done, but then, my couz already told me, and it's better to tell me the truth. My mom knew I won't be okay... I had double thinking about the interview, I wanna go home and see my beloved tito, but then Loi told me to attend my interview, my tito will guide me... Still, I was lucky that the client had important family matters as well, and the interview was called off, or else, I might have not been able to answer his questions.

11:30pm: Even if I am sleepy, I chose to go straight to the chapel first before going home, despite the fact that I have work the following day. I felt pity, it was so difficult for me to see his body lying lifeless, at an improvised bed, because no coffin fits him. I cried seeing him on that situation, and held his cold hand... But all we can do is wait for the coffin to be built for him, he's just too big to fit on ordinary coffins available...

1:30am: We went home and slept. When I closed my eyes, I saw him watching over me as I fell asleep. I cried and cried till I was deeply slumbered...

I was planning to forget May 14, since this was the start of a bitter feeling, yet, tito made this another memorable one... He taught me one thing on his leaving: Forgetting does not cure all the pain, it is accepting...

We will surely miss our Santa Claus... I will surely miss his teachings and his strict way of teaching us life... I will surely miss his laughs and his tap... It was him who tapped my lap when I was asleep, bidding me goodbye... I will surely miss the good old days... All those days when he became a father to me, when he filled in all the emptiness I feel, when he filled in all the things that my own father cannot fill in... I am not a direct niece, for my mom is just his wife's first cousin, and yet, he treated me like his own daughter already... Get mad when I am going astray, and takes pride of my successes... I could never forget how he told evveryone he knows that he got a niece who passed the PRC exam and now a CHEMIST... He took pride of me, and boosted my morale,and made me feel how great it is to be a CHEMIST...

Now, he's gone, with the One Above... I don't know what life is ahead for me and my mom... He's our sole family and protector... He made us feel that we are not alone... I know and I am feeling it now, how big the difference is without him in our life... Tito Danny will always be Tito Danny, no one could ever replace him... A father not only for Kuya Dondon, Ate Dona, Ate Jessica and Kuya Tomtom, but also a father to all his niece and nephew regardless of the degree, a father of Taysan National High School, a father of Brgy. Taysan, a father of all seminarians, and a father of the whole San Jose, Batangas... The town's Big Brother, our family's Santa Claus, every youth's Daddy, and every laborer's Lawyer.

I love you Tito Danny, I may have not thanked you enough when you were alive, but I know, you know how thankful I am I got you as an uncle, for without you, I don't know where I will be right now, and I don't know what could have been the circumstances of our family life if we do not have you around when you were still alive...

I will miss you most... I love you... I am praying for your eternal happiness... Please watch over me everyday,and tap me everytime I do the same mistakes... Don't leave us behind, and don't let any of us go astray...

Good bye, our DEAREST, the BIGGEST, the GREATEST UNCLE OF ALL...

See you at the cross roads, Tito Danny...

Friday, May 9, 2008

Decisions...Decisions...Decisions...

i've been like this since yesterday that i even forgot it was my grandfather's 10th death anniversary (sorry, mamay...)



first news that came to me was the reorganization that will take place SOON..and soon means next week...not next year, nor next month, but next week...part of the reorganization is the transfer of chemprep from slg to something independent...and i was offered to be included on that move...



second news, there is an urgent need for a new safety engineer, to replace ma'am auds who will be resigning soon...this position is one of my dream position...to be a safety engineer...



third news, a phone call, from a dream company...i was shortlisted by them and i am endorsed for client interview this thursday (may 15) supposedly, but then it was moved earlier, may 14, this time...

alright, so this blog is a week delayed since i started writing this...

the interview was cancelled again, and that will push through on monday...pray for me...

the transfer was not yet official, since there's no memo yet, however, i am currently reporting to 2 managers...

safety engineer position is no longer for me, my managers didn't agreed to give me to sir ed, that's the sad part of it... so i do hope that i can make it on my interview so that i can already leave this worst nightmare of my life...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I Lost My First Blog Ever

i was readign through my blogs here, and oh well, I did some stupidity last October, when all characters here were in Japanese still...

I DELETED MY BLOGS that was dated December of 2006 till September of 2007.

so it appears now that i started blogging here only last october, when in fact, i started this a month after i started my gmail account (which i'm not quite sure but i guess that was in November of 2006).

wala na ko proofs ng mga lamentations ko sa previous jobs ko and how i landed on that job, including my most frustrating experience working at salinas for a month, and a very memorable christmas eve of 2006, all those stories were gone, and i could no longer get hold of again... all were lost because of one reason:

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ NIHONGGO CHARACTERS... :(

Are You Drunk?!?

Last night, me and my team went on a small dinner celebration at Gilligan's Island at Festival Mall, Alabang. Had some drinking sessions, and most of them sang. I could not understand why they, most specially Jolly, kept on telling me I was drunk last night, when in fact I AM NOT! Throughout my drinking days, I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED BEING DRUNK yet, not ever.

I first had a bitter taste of beer when I was in third year high school. That was during Lipa Fiesta at my best friend's house. Kuya Sam brought us some bottles of Pale Pilsen, yup, Pale Pilsen, San Mig Light was not yet available in the market that time. I was able to finish one bottle only, not because I got drunk, but because I started to get red. I dunno, maybe I am allergic to malt, or something, (weird however, coz my daily morning beverage is composed of malt, Milo has malt right?). So there, but it did not hindered me from drinking. The next drinking I made was with my cousins, I think, GIN POMELO, but mixed for the ladies, and that was a few months after my first try (summer of '99 to be exact). Since then, drinking has always been part of every occasion I attend to. The worst drinking that I did was during Aimee's debut, November of 2002. Her step father owns this mini mart at our town, and they do have liquor section. After the program, we started to sit around and open some drinks, we did not planned to have an actual drinking, we just want to finish one bottle of Fundador, at least. So we started with Fundador, with NO CHASER! But after finishing Fundador, we were craving for more, so we opened anotehr Fundador, then Johnny Walker, then Gilbey's Gin, then Novellino, then a white wine which I forgot the brand, then champagne (yes, champagne went last), until we turned the bar down. My friends still wants some more, so we opened the mini mart, and went to the liquor section, and took whatever we find on the counter. We had 3 bottles more of red wine (varying brands), 2 bottles of Gilbey's, another Fundador, a vodka and a tequila. Most are already crawling due to drunkenness, and some were already asleep on the table after finishing the last bottles we got. While 5 of us were not yet affected by the alcohol we just take, we went to the rooftop and waited for the dawn. We wanna go home, but the gates are closed still, it'll open up by 7am. I am not sure, but I think I am slightly drunk that time, coz I told them, I want to climb the gates and get away. But of course, the gates won over me, I was not able to get home early. The earlier I wanna get home, the later I was able to do so, because after watching the beautiful sunrise, we went downstairs and cleaned the function hall. We were so tired that we went inside Aimee's bedroom, we all fell asleep. Before we knew it, Aimee's mom was waking us up for LUNCH, yup, FOR LUNCH, and it was actually late for lunch as well, coz it was already 1:30PM. Okay, maybe you'd say I was drunk and I just didn't felt it, I was not, we were just tired cleaning up the mess and all the puke the party goers left (it's really, ewww to clean those stuff!). Next drinking session that I hated was the following summer, Summer of 2003. It was my cousin's birthday and we just thought of renting the nearest pool, and party, without drinks, of course. But my dear best-friend former suitor came along with his brother and sister, carrying with him a box of Ginebra San Miguel and a pitcher. He went out and bought one pack of pomelo flavored powder juice, and mixed gin with the juice on the pitcher. I didn't know how he made it, but he told his sister not to join us, I thought what he only cares about was because she was too young by then to join sessions like that. The pitcher was already halved, and I felt I wanna pee, that was also the only time I noticed I was the only girl in the group, 4 of my cousins and him, I stood up and said I am going to the washroom, he called his sister and told her to accompany me, I said I can handle myself, but when I tried to take my first step, waahhh! I almost fell, and I hugged the post. That time, I knew, the mix was made for guys, he did not diluted it with drinking water, I hated him that time! But that session made me increase my alcohol content even farther, maybe that's why I never get drunk even if I finish all that my drinking pals cannot finish. In our native language, I am "taga-salo".

So going back to last night, 4 bottles of San Mig Light cannot bring me down, that I am certain of. I may have turned red after a few bottles, but that was normal, I am not yet drunk. Only Tequila without chaser can put me down. I am not a drunkard, but my alcohol content is high, I can handle no matter how many bottles there are, I am not from Vilela family if I can be easily put down by mere San Mig Light. As what my friend always tell the people who doesn't know I drink, "She doesn't drink, yeah, I agree, but the statement doesn't end there, she doesn't drink beverages WITHOUT FLAVOR..." Hmmm...I should have thrown the question back to Jolly last night:


Sunday, May 4, 2008

Non Sense Pics During Company Outing


Calbarzon.. On the way puntang Island Cove, di ako makatulog sa shuttle...

I don't have great pics ng outing. Pa'no, I hate the place, and I hate the event... Ang boring, I should have stayed at home na lang... nawalan pa ng bat ang cam ko, so wala talga.. I have pics sa cam ng ibang co-engineers ko kaso, wala eh, di ko makuha copies na meron ako, kasi I forgot na kung sino sino yung may cam na meron ako pic, hahaha! Kaya yan, napag-tripan ko na lang flip flops ko and glitter tattoo ko...

Goodbyes Are Not Forever

The past week has been a week of a lot of goodbyes. On the 1st of May, was the burial of Kuya Ed. It was heartwarming indeed to see the number of people who joined and sympathized as his family grieved his leaving. It was so sad, yet we know, he's more than happy now wherever he may be...

The morning of 1st as well, Shana's mom also passed away, but I am not sure what the reason of her death was... I was supposed to go to Bulacan and join her as she grieve, but then, a lot of things need to be done at the office, plus the interment on the 1st, while the kada went to Bulacan on the 1st. I will just offer a prayer for tita...

Day before the 1st, the 30th of April, Sir Dann, already filed his resignation... It's so great to know he's going to leave HICAP soon, meaning, there's more life ahead for us outside of HICAP. It brought back the hope in me, the hope to be able to leave HICAP... But at the same time, it's sad to know he's leaving, for he's the only person I get to be close with in the team, him and Jolly of course, and now that he will be leaving HICAP on the 9th of May, it then marks my being a loner again...

A lot of goodbyes to deal with in a week... A lot of leaving... But I know goodbyes are not forever... Soon we'll all meet again, somewhere, somehow...

I wish it's my time for goodbye this week as well...

Hello Stranger...

I wanna see this guy again... wanna hear him play the drums again... he makes the drums go wild the same way he do with my heart...

I caught him looking at me, but it ended up me staring at him... I can't take my eyes off of him even for a second... I like the way he smiles... The way he plays the drums... He's everything I want to know for now... Who are you, stranger? What's behind those eyes that makes me go ga-ga over knowing you?

Will we ever meet again? Will I soon get to know your name?

Who are you? Why do I feel this way for you? I want to know you, stranger... I wanna see you play the drums again and have my heart beat the way it beat last night...

I hope it won't be long to see you again, and finally get to know each other...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Nightmare Began...(or was it the end of it?)

This morning, I woke up from a terrible nightmare. As in, I was still trembling and my heart's palpitation was too much for me to handle.

My dream was about this guy I have been avoiding for days now. I am avoiding him not because I don't like him, in fact, I used to like him (yeah, USED to...), but when things started to change, I started to move away... He no longer is the same guy I used to hang out with, a lot of things changed in him... His outlook in life and his attitude towards other people, most especially to me. I am not demanding him to give me utmost attention, but the reverse, I want his distance... For weeks, I started to be afraid of him, of what he could possibly do, that I sought help from a friend to overcome my fear of him, and be able to move like before. She did, she helped me by showing support and that she'll protect me from whatever he might be capable of doing, but then, he grew more aggressive and suddenly got mad at me for simply me not doing what he wants. Anyway, going back to my dream, I dreamt about him, not the usual stories of dreams, I dreamt he was dead, as in lifeless. In my dream, my mom and godmother told me a news about a family friend's son who passed away, mentioning the name, but my expression didn't changed at first, as if, I don't believe them, until we went to the wake. The place was similar, though the lay out of the house was different from theirs, but the place and the direction we are heading really looks like we're heading their house. We went inside, and I saw his mom in my dream, and my mom telling us stories of how thoughtful he was, for buying Nanay a dress, or something, which I cannot remember him doing in real life, so I thought it could be someone else, only the name was used. But when it was time to give respect to the remains, I screamed and cried (even in real life, I did!), for it was him inside the open coffin (kinda weird that the coffin was open but there's a body inside, anyway, it was a dream, and dreams always have weird stuffs)...Anyway, so that was the story of my dream, and I woke up screaming and crying and my heart pounding so fast as if I have ran a thousand-meter race.

That's the reason why I woke up earlier than usual, and was able to catch the second bus, yes, the SECOND shuttle bus..hahaha! I woke up and went through my usual routine thinking, "what does my dream wants to say?"

I remembered on my first job, my friend told me that dreaming of a wake signifies that the person inside the coffin will soon get married, but what if the coffin is open?Will it still signify the same meaning? And whoa! He will soon get married? I don't know if it's a relief for me or not, it's a mixture of feelings, so I consulted the ever friendly search engines to interpret that mind-boggling dream, here's what dreamcrowd.com has as an answer for me:

To dream that you attend a wake, symbolizes your need to grieve or let go of something that has been close to you. It is also okay to seek the support of those around you to help you get through this difficult time.

Okay, so that was the best interpretation I was able to get, and probably the closest one to what I am currently going through...But me, to grieve? I guess, letting go is okay for me, but to grieve time and again, no way! I don't wanna go through those steps again, I am okay now, and I am now learning to let go, I don't need to weep again like before.

I hope that dream interpretation was for real, for I cannot accept it if it means worse for the person in my dream, it's true, I'm mad at him but I do not want to wish him bad luck or something, I just want to move on, and let go of our story, that's all...

So, could that nightmare be a beginning of a very long nightmare in real life, or was it already the end of it? I hope it's the second one... ;)

Work After Vacation

Another work week is so difficult to begin. After two days of vacation, plus a day of fun (anyway, was it fun?!?) with all of the company's employees, then you have to report for work the following day... It is indeed soooo difficult. I cannot push myself to have a very productive Tuesday. All I try to do is starting to be a mess...

My mind's travelling far and I can't help myself not to yawn. I still want to stay at home and surf the net... OR stay at Kuya Ed's wake and spend with him his last 3 days at his house, (yes, the interment is scheduled on Thursday or Friday, I am not sure as well)... And what's so bad about me, I haven't visited his wake yet, though I was aware of his leaving since Sunday. Now, I am feeling so guilty, blogging about his goodness, yet I haven't given a respect yet on his remains. In fact, I am planning not to render an overtime today, for two main reasons: I'M BORED, and I WANNA VISIT KUYA ED...

Hope I could do that today... Hope the tasks won't be coming and pile up in the afternoon, or else, I'm DEAD!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

See you soon, Kuya Ed...

I haven't seen Kuya Ed for almost half a year now...Well, honestly, I can't remember the time I last saw him passing by and calling my mom, "FHEL!!!"... And now, I guess, seeing him would take longer than a decade for me... He passed away last night while having fun with some friends at a wedding shower somewhere down our street...

As per my ninang's story, he was so happy last night seeing my ninang, his good friend whom he haven't seeen for quite sometime due to work and a sudden change of residence for my ninang... Ninang said, they were so happy, laughing around, and dancing... But they parted ways earlier, coz ninang and some of her friends and some of my tita's have to visit my tito in the hospital as well... But while at the hospital, somebody called my tita and said, "Kapitana, balik kayo dito, natumba si Ed, masama pakiramdam (Captain, come back here, Ed fell down and not in good condition)"..My tita, thinking it's just brought about his drunkenness said she'll go back after an hour, they'll wait for tito to wake up first. But the guy on the phone insisted, and my tita, being the barangay captain, then returned home..But they received a text message to go directly to the hospital, coz Kuya Ed was sent to the hospital already.

Still on the car, they already saw a lot of people, and when Ninang saw Ate Milette crying and almost breaking down, she rushed down the car and went to Ate Milette directly. Right then and there, she heard the doctor saying that it was too late, Kuya Ed didn't made it...

The fun they had earlier was suddenly replaced with grieve and regrets.Kuya Ed, known to be one of the greatest person in town, one of the best Barangay Councilor, undeniably the best person you can run to anytime, for whatever reason, has already joined our dear Creator.

I remembered those days when Kuya Ed and his friends would stay here and dine on our little restau. He loves my mom's lomi and pancit, plus the grilled isaw and barbeque... He loves to eat and he eats a lot... He knows when to have fun and when to be serious... He loves his family so much, most especially his little sister, Ate Nita... He loves her so much that he chose not to get married, and just take care of her and of his nieces and nephews.. He did everything for his family, and just recently, did everything for the barangay as well, despite all the hurting words his own family says about him, he did not stop helping the barangay and all the people that needs his service...

We will definitely miss Kuya Ed... His laughter that none could ever replace... The laughs that would unfathomably show how happy he is and how great life has been to him... Now, I would never see his smiling face again... I would never hear him calling my mom for some story telling and tambay's...

Kuya Ed, I know wherever you are right now, you are more than happy there... No more hurting words, no more difficult living... You're with God Almighty, and nothing could ever replace the joy and happiness you are experiencing right now, even if there's no Ginebra San Miguel or beers there, nor isaw, lomi and pancit...Life may have ended for you, but an everlasting life was given to you... A gift given only to those that deserve it... To people who made the best out of their earthly lives... And you are so lucky for God chose to take care of you... He knows it's time that it is you to be taken care of, it's time for you to rest and be joyful...

We will miss you Kuya Ed, but we are happy coz we know you are happy...

See you at the crossroads soon, Kuya Ed...

Don't forget to look over at us from Up Above...

We Love you Kuya Eddis...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Trying To Blog Something Great

Today, I planned to look at the brighter side of life, despite all the not-so-great things that is happening around me right now. I have decided that from now on, I will be blogging more about great things and minimize (not totally avoiding it) blabbing about failures and frustrating events that happens each day.

Let me start about what went on yesterday...

I was early, yey! After a month, I was able to catch the shuttle service at Lipa City, though we were caught by the traffic and arrived 10 minutes before the time, still, I managed not to take the public transportation on my first working day. Then, my uncle was not admitted in the hospital, thank God, he is suffering from asthma, that's all, but no need for a hospital admission, according to his doctor...

Today, though, I woke up just in time, but I was left by the shuttle service. I already knew ahead that I won't be able to catch the last bus, so I extended my PUB destination another 4 km or more... What's the best thing about this morning? Hmmm... I saw my cousin that I haven't seenfor quite a while, we were on the same PUB, but we were seated distantly, so we chatted through text, so crazy of us, ain't we?

So far, my day has just started, I am not sure what other great things will happen till tonight. Whatever it may be, I am ready, and I am looking forward to all of those things happening to me....

Have a great day everyone!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Writing Is Not For Me...

this is it... i now accept that writing is not for me... i took the risk of venturing on this as a career.. tried a lot of writing websites and sent them my sample works... but none of them returned any reply to me... none was satisfied with my works... i guess, they were right... writing is not for me... i could never ever be a writer no matter how i tried to be one...

and now, i'm back... back to that time when i don't know what i want in life... what i want to be...i'm tired with my current job... but where should i go now? i don't know.. and i no longer know what is in store for me... what future lies ahead for me...

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

"love your job"

I had a few words with my professor few days ago...She asked me how I'm doing and where on earth am I right now. I told her I am currently working as an engineer in a manufacturing company where REAL engineers dominates me. I told her the truth that I am really having a hard time here, trying to fit in and doing my best to excel, but it seems like my heart does not belong here, it seems like I am not destined to be here... <Or was I actually destined to be here that's why I cannot find a replacement job? Sigh! I wish I am not destined here!>

Going back, she asked me what made me think this way. Why I am like this when in fact, when I was in college, I was the one who was consistently doing good and focused, how come that when I was already working, things suddenly became so dark for me. I could not answer her, for I myself asks those things to myself. What happened to me? What happened to the "CY" they once knew, the one who loved Chemistry so much was determined to be one of the country's most respectable Chemist.

Yes, those were my dreams years ago, when I was still in college. I was overwhelmed by the thoughts of working in a pharmaceuticals company, or any consumer company, and be able to generate my own product line, or at least say, that this new soap that Company Z is currently marketing via ads at TV, radio, newspaper and tarpaulins, is no other than a product of my own perseverance, somethign worth remembering, that once in my life, I had created a product that turned every Filipino eyeing for that, wanting to use that.

But where am I right now? I am always landing at the wrong job... Paper industry, polymer industry, salt industry, and now, a semiconductors company... Those companies that I want to be part of does not want to hire me. Some turned me down due to my health, others simply does not want to hire me because, there are better chemists ahead of me.

I told her, I am starting to feel so frustrated about my career, that I want to make a total 360 degree turn and start anew. I know, my words struck her and made her frustrated herself, for she was just only able to say: "uy, wag ka ma-frustrate. Try to love your job so you won't feel tired and bored." But the question is, how can I love this job when my heart is not here? How can I put my heart into it so I won't feel frustrated, tired or bored?

Maybe you got the answer.. Maybe you can help me out... How can I learn to love a job that I hate as of this time? What should I do to make myself love this job and make me stay here for good?

Friday, April 4, 2008

Why I Love Writing

When I was a kid, I was the only kid in the house, so my mom and aunts would give me a pen and paper to keep me busy and stop bugging them...

I thought my family will continuously support me with my want of holding pen and paper. But when I was in high school, my mom asked me to quit writing, to forget about anything about writing... I was hurt... It seems like my world was shattered... Writing has always been part of me... Writing has always been my way of life, and they would suddenly ask me to quit it and to never pursue it as my chosen career...

I was asked to take on a career I never really envisioned myself doing... I was forced to love a life that was totally new to me... A career path that I am not sure what lies ahead... But despite everything, I remained rooted to what I really want... I continued writing hidden in shadows... I wrote without letting my family know... It was so frustrating for me that my own family does not care about what I want to achieve... I feel so alone... But it never stopped me from pursuing what I want to do... What I want to achieve...

I am still writing... And I will write till the last breath of me... For in writing, I can be who I want to be... In writing, I am capable of anything... In writing, I am free... Only in writing can I say that I am who God wants me to be...

Friday, March 28, 2008

goodbye to love


i want to bid love goodbye... but HOW?
i wish it's as easy as waving your hand, turn your back and walk away...
i wish it's not that heartbreaking and won't require shedding too much tears...
but it isn't!
saying goodbye to love is not as easy as simply writing on the sand "GOODBYE LOVE" and leave it behind... it won't work... it won't help... today it is, but tomorrow, it won't... you'll be wanting love back... you'll be asking for his presence again... you'll be longing for his kisses and his touch... and everything that you've written in the sand will simply be washed away by the sea... you'll be back to weeping... back to thinking... back to loving him, all on your own...
love is not that easy to let go... nor is it easy to forget... one great love will forever be a part of you... one great love filled with the most wonderful memories will forever be haunting you...and that one great love will never ever leave you, no matter how many times you have said the lines:
"GOODBYE, LOVE... GOODBYE TO LOVE..."

Thursday, March 27, 2008

missing you so badly

i dunno what happened, but for weeks, i lost access to this blog, and to my mails... was i blocked? i don't know and i don't care...

i miss him...

that's the only thing on my mind right now... i miss him... though i know it isn't right... i can't help not to miss him... everyday, i am looking forward seeing him... no matter how hard i try to keep myself from texting or calling him, it doesn't work, in fact, i called him last tuesday and asked him to visit me... even if that was for only 20 minutes seeing him, that was the best damn minutes of my life this month... i know i could never ever get him out of my life... never could i ever live my life without him...

he's my life... he's my everything...

he's my past, my present and will forever be...

so stupid of me to love him! damn it!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WELCOME 2008!!!!








Whoooo!I'm still sleepy, but then, am at work!

YES! I'm at work!

well, i logged in at 1pm and will be out by 7pm...hehehe...just checked on my chemicals and other stuff...

i found out one thing today...that guy who kept on calling me "baby" really thought we're that close huh! he used my locker to keep his cleanroom shoes!what the...!so i was left using other people's locker to keep mine,grrr...!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

it's day before Christmas and I'm still at work...oh well, my tasks are done, I can leave anytime...tamad lang magbyahe...Hello, byahe na nga kaninang umaga, byahe pa din pauwi, ang bait ko nman...sulitin ko na shuttle today,hahaha!

be blogging again next year!

Have a Happy Holiday everyone!


God Bless us all!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

it's mah birthday

yeah, today's my birthday...what happened on my whole birthday?hmmm,nothing special...i went to work the same time, mom woke me up with a gift wrapped in a BARBIE GIFT WRAPPER (yeah, am still her little girl!), and what's inside is my favorite stuff, a NOTEBOOK with cute bubbles design (sooooo childish, thinking am already 24 today, hahaha!)...then i went to work rushing , asking why?coz am almost late!thank God i was able to catch the shuttle... then came tons of workload to finish, hoping to finish all till 5 pm, but here i am, 6:21pm and am still seated here at my desk...

things that made me happy on my birthday:
1) my gift from mom...
2)early morning greetings from people closest to my heart (one of them is him!)
3)lunch out with my officemates
4)phone call from ate and her daughter
5)feeling of belongingness here at hicap

things i hate about today:
1)my dad is still in the hospital
2)i got tons of workload that i failed to finish
3)i have to render overtime on my birthday
4)my bestfriend did not called...
5)there are people who forgot it's my birthday...:(

this is the first birthday i don't have any cake waiting for me at home...and i am to go to sleep tonight, thanking God for another year, with nobody else to talk to tonight but my dumb dolphin stuff toy and my 2 dumb puppies...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

so yesterday!

"as i sit by my window late at night
as i look at the stars so bright
i see those still memories
recalling in tears and the passing of years has gone by
as i walk on the street side cold and alone
as i watch the street lamps die
i see your faces, the fun we all had
and oh i'm so glad to have them at heart.
from the past until today
until the seasons wither till my body succumb to dust
we'll never let go in faith, in life
that though tomorrow we may live apart
believe and understand, we live as one
beyond the times, live as one.
as i listen to music and sing with the tones
as i talk to a friend on the phone
i hear those laughters afar
and sometimes those tears
recalling the moments of remembered years.
as i smell those roses in the garden bed
as i pick it up close held tight
i see your faces the times we all had
and oh i'm so glad to have them at heart.
see your dreams,
take courage on your soul
and move on
sail on through time
believe in me as i believe in you
that TRUE FRIENDS we are, FOREVER..."

Thursday, December 6, 2007

home




Thinking back when we first met
I remember what you said
You said you'd never leave me
I let go of your hand
Built my castle in the sand
But now I'm reachin' out again
And I'm not letting go
Till you

Hold me
Mold me
Sometimes I feel so all alone
See, I gotta find me way back home
So why don't you
Shape me
make me
Wah me whiter than the snow
I gotta find my way
Back home

Master upon my knees i pray
I just want to be the clay
Put your arms around me
Place my life in your hands
Lord, I know I'm just a man
I know you understand
This time I'm not letting go
Till you

Anoint me
Appoint me
Somstimes I feel so alone
See, I gotta find my way back home
So why don't you
Chastise me
Baptize me
Wash me whiter than the snow
I gotta find my way

'Cause I'm lost and alone
I've been wandering
Long enough to know
Humbly I search for you
And I'm not gonna rest
Till you

Choose me
Use me
Sometimes I feel so alone
I'm on my way back home

So why don't you
Direct me
Bless me
Wash me whiter then the snow
I'm on my way
Back home

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

my first holiday greeting

last night, i got home kinda late...and i was surprised on what i found on our desk at the sala...a very cute and colorful card with somewhat alien language written on it...damn electricity was out due to typhoon, so i have to scan the postcard over a candle light (so romantic!,hehehe)...and i was very much overwhelmed when i found out from whom it was...it was from PRINCESS ODY...i was so touched, i was part of her first batch of mailing list..whoa!that was so sweet of you my friend, ody...! and thanks for the German message, i got some refresher course on my language, i need it badly... ;)


alright, to continue (waahhhh! it took me 6 days to complete this blog?!?)bear with me, i got a lot of stuff on my desk...it's just now that i got some time to breathe...

okay, to continue, i was really touched for that card i received, i didn't expected any from ody, really, i mean, at this time, when everything seems to be done through cyber, i'm now used to receiving e-cards and no more snail mails...i missed this old fashioned way of communicating, and it really made me feel the essence of Christmas..

i was planning to surprise her too, but too bad, i haven't seen her mom around our place, i was not able to ask for her address, so i asked it directly from her, and well, knowing how brilliant she is, i know my plan is blown off...

i wonder who will send me card next?just dreaming...hehehe...

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Proof of my Relaxation...



My friends from my previous job aren't believing me that I got my hair straight...So I decided to post a photo blog of me with my newly treated (with scarred scalp) hair... Hope this proves enough that I am no longer the "kulot" gurl my boss usually calls...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

...ewan kung about ano ba toh...

wala lang..nagpapatay oras lang...hehehe..na-miss ko lang toh,multiply, myspace, friendster, facebook, blogspot,everything..kasi naman two weeks na hitachi website lang kausap ko sa office, pati pala mga search engines,pero walang blog...<sigh>...

na-miss ko online friends ko,really, i did! i never knew ang dami na pala nag-comment at nag-pm sa kin...

update about my new job..ayun,tambak ang report, root cause analysis report, training report, development report, pr's, recommendations...may interviews pa (kasi naman kakapasok ko pa lang, may nag-resign na sa team ko,hayz...)...but i enjoy it..am addicted to too much pressure and challenges...mas gusto ko yung di na ko makapagtext or makaupo ng matagal sa sobrang daming pinupuntahan at ginagawa...though, it really saddened me na i have to sacrifice my life online...

anyway, you can send me emails naman sa yahoo (sweeter_ion@yahoo.com ; netchie_28@yahoo.com ; cyrilanne_cuartelon@yahoo.com ) or gmail (anneville@gmail.com) accounts  ko eh, i do check them every morning,coz am at the office too early, got an hour to check my outside emails before ma-filter ng IT,hehehe...

gotta go! have to update my other cyberspace...

take care guys!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I got the Job

Oh well, I'm happy that finally, I got the job that I really want... I passed Hitachi Global Storage Technology and I will be starting with them by next week as a Process Engineer! I'm really grateful I got the job I've been dreaming of... At least I don't have to sleep at work anymore,I got a lot of time for socialization,hehehe...

 

So now it's moving back to Batangas...I decided to stay at our house rather than to rent coz at least I don't have to do any chores after work (call it "katamaran",hehehe)...

 

I'm looking forward for my first day! I'm so happy (di naman obvious noh?)!

Friday, October 5, 2007

I Was Tagged: 6 Degrees of Weirdness

Ok, so I was tagged by my dearest friend Ody. I got curious about it, but it took me a long while to come up with my own list of weirdness despite the fact that I'm already weird.

Being tagged is far much better than having your blog read aloud by your own boss within your office (that was quite embarrassing,no, IT IS SOOOOO EMBARRASSING!)... So I've decided that from now on, I won't post anything on my Friendster blog, hahahaha!(he doesn't have an access on my multiply anyway,so it's safe here!hahaha!)

So much for the blah-blah...Let's get this stuff going...All you have to do is list 6 weird things about yourself and tag six people on your list! It's quite that simple, and fun! you'll learn a lot of weird things about your friends,hahaha! And oh, don't forget to leave a comment on their page to let them know that they've been tagged.

And here's my 6 Degrees of Weirdness:

1. I hate the taste of pineapple...I dunno why, I just hate it...As in anything with pineapple, even a tinge of it, candies, fruits, juices, main dishes with pineapple, and even side dishes...I actually create my own fruit salad excluding pineapple all the time!

2. I read the newspaper backwards. Not that I read it from the last word going up (well, that's insanity, not weirdness), I flip the pages starting from the last page (as if it's the front page) and read the articles on the last pages first and reading the headlines last.

3. Shopping keeps me awake and recharge my energy. After long hours of working that's usually a 24-hour duty, shopping washes my tiredness away, as if I'm ready to work again.

4. I talk and walk in my sleep. Scary?!? Well, that's why I'm fun to be a room mate, wait till I ask you to find something that really don't exist in our room. It's either you'll laugh at me coz I'm completely asleep during that time, or be pissed off coz your head aches searching for that thing that can only be found in my dream and not in the real world, say for example, I asked my mom to search outside my window for that syringe that accidentally fell off the window, which, of course, my mom didn't find anything outside after searching through the grass, the flower pots and even the trash cans which are so far away from my window already, and also, I did asked my mom once to search for my precipitates and my bacteria under my bed, (suddenly, my room became the laboratory,hahaha!)...

5. I hate raisins on my bread nor on my chocolates. But I love grapes and raisins alone...

6. And finally, I sleep with a pillow over my head, and a blanket all over my body regardless of the weather.

That's the weirdest part of me,some is yet to unfold,hahaha..! Now, I'm tagging Rhoanne, Daye, Rianna, Gzle, Karen L., and Chingky. 

Saturday, September 15, 2007

job hunting once again...

yesterday, i had an interview with hitachi global...(ssshhhh,my boss thought i had a toothache that's why i visited my dentist at medical plaza yesterday,hahahaha..) anyway, it was an interview conducted by the hitachi global's HR and someone from john clements...wonder why i was there when in fact am enjoying a lot of perks here at prochem (should i really call it perks: medical card, a sack of rice every other month,meal allowance,and what else?!?that's it!)..

anyway, so yun na nga, but night before yesterday even until i woke up yesterday, i was still feeling kinda lazy to go, but joanne,the HR from john clements was really persuading me to go,coz the client will only be at their office by 14th,that is yesterday, and that they badly need a chemist...so off i went yesterday,even if i really don't know who their client is,all i know is that it's a multinational company owned by an american (fyi, hitachi is partly owned by japanese and american,they merged with IBM,that's why at jobstreet it was noted as an american company coz hitachi global's main office is at san jose, california,not at japan..)..when i got there, i thought she sent me to the training room for an exam,coz that was our discussion over the phone,i will take the exams by 9 and interview in the afternoon..i was surprised when hitachi HR included me on the list of those who doesn't need to take the exams anymore..i was a bit grateful coz i was already shortlisted...but when interview came, waaahhhh!!!!!!!!i really don't know what happened, i dunno what i answered nor what i said...all i can remember was that it was so difficult negotiating my asking rate (i knew it, i should have proceeded with chemical engineering course so that i can have my desired salary whenever i want...)...but am still glad that even if i really had a difficult time (i was not really prepared yesterday that's why i was feeling so lazy to go!) she still said that my application will be part of the pool that their managers will review and shall be called as soon as possible for final interview and hopefully, a job offer...

am back with my sickness again,job hunting all over again and if i don't feel the job at the moment, i won't come for an interview...wanna know how many companies already put me on their blacklist?i don't know either, but all i know is, jg summit and ibiden are part of it (sad, but true...)...but am hoping that i can really find a multinational company to work with for as long as i can...am starting to pray that the americans and japanese will consider me this time...i'm looking forward working with hitachi global...

Thursday, August 30, 2007

blank space

i wanna write something...i wanna share something with my friends, but then, i can't find the words..it seems like my mind's so tired of thinking and worrying and everything...there are a lot of things that's bothering me these past few days, but i just don't know where to start..or better yet, HOW to start...tis the first time i felt like this...billions of emotions and words start to occupy my mind, yet i just can't find the exact word to start this blog...

so well, i guess, i'll just leave this entry blank, and worthless...full of words, yet lacking the meaning...i guess, this is the best picture of my current state of mind...MEANINGLESS... <sigh...>

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

my dear lola




surprise! a lot heard me saying that me and my lola aren't in good terms...as in away lagi sa small stuffs...well, when she visited me here sa apartment, i just gave her back what is due to her,since magbbirthday na din sya,pero syempre sa malapit lang kasi wala pa sweldo at mabagal kumilos lola ko,mabbwisit lang ako...where else,eh di sa market market lang kami...o di ba,parang bata, naaliw sa fountain at sa elephant at lions..nilapitan pa ang lion..hehehehe..

well,even though we don't go along well, she's still my lola...i love her despite her freaking attitude..hahaha!

galit ako sa mga di nagva-value ng time

no, i'm not talking about my lovelife...i'm referring to my work load! yes! as in my work, as in it's already getting to my nerves!!!

last night, i left 12midnight..as in MIDNIGHT! and i haven't taken my dinner yet that time! then here it is again today...7:40pm and i'm still here, waiting for my samples which, if they responded immediately to my instructions 2 hours earlier, we're done by now...

i know, it's not the operation's fault that the production request was late, it's the sales department who never give strict deadlines to the customers so that we could have ample time to produce their products...but still, even if the request was late, damn!i gave the final instruction 2 hours ago which should only take me an hour to have all the final samples analyzed and refilled..but what did they do?hay...i dunno! i went outside an hour and half ago to check what happened with my instructions, and surprise!!!

"di pa namin nalalagay eh, ngayon pa lang.."

"huh?can you repeat that?kalahating oras ako na naghihintay sa lab,nagtiwala na ginawa nyo na ang instructions ko,at supposedly, may sample na ko ngayon,pero wala pang sample kasi, DI NYO PA NALALAGAY?!?"...

"natalsikan pa nga ako ng sulfuric eh..."

"well, kasalanan ko?eh di ka nagsusuot ng safety gears mo eh!?!?kung masunog ang balat mo dahil dyan sa sulfuric,di ako maaawa sa yo, gagawa pa ko ng safety report na magllead sa suspension mo...second time na toh ah,nasuspend ka na before,di ka pa nadala?"

 

ayan! yan ang transcription ng galit ko kanina... tas eto ang bago..busy sila magtransfer ng kung ano ano at ang final products ko, nakatengga sa tanke,wala pa nasisimulan..damn you guys! wala ba kayong pamilya na naghihintay ng pag-uwi nyo ng maaga para makapagbonding kayo before kayo matulog?ako nga nanay ko lang ang naghihintay sa kin pero i'm too excited to share with her whatever happened here at work...

tumawag na boss ko,pinapauwi na ko...kaso baka nga naman may kelangan pa ko iadjust sa formulation ko kaya sabi ko papakamartir na lang ulit ako tonight...

ewan ko ba,yumayaman ata ang operations sa mga overtime pay nila, samantalang ako, GOBYERNO lang ang yumayaman sa overtime pay ko...

sana naman marunong sila mag-value ng time..every second is paid, and every second counts,maawa sana sila sa company, eto nga't doing its best para mag-stay sa industry amidst all the competition and the increasing power of peso...wag na lang sila maawa sa kin...sa company na lang, yung binabayad sa overtime ko at overtime nila,di sana maiidagdag na sa investment ng company or naibili na ng additional raw materials para etong mga r & d products eh di lang namin sa lab nagagawa,kundi mai-large scale na at magawa ng pera...

kaso they just don't know how to value time and save a lot for the future...pinapayaman lang nila lalo ang mga kurakot sa gobyerno...

buti sana kung ang tax eh nahahatian ang industry namin ng science and technology,kaso hindi eh...

 

hay...sana mabigyan ako ng chance na maging direct supervisor ng mga pasaway na toh,tuturuan ko talga sila ng leksyon!

 

<<sensya na,puyat,pagod at gutom lang...>>

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

a sign at my back...

i received this message from my colleague/ friend from peoplesupport, irish, way way back ..

"sometimes, i wonder if i have a sign taped at my back that says BREAK MY HEART..."

when i received it, i thought it was just a simple thought..then a month passed by and while i was scanning through my messages, it suddenly occurred to me that, "hey, this is me!this is exactly what's been happening to me ever since i've learned to love..."

too many times, i fell in love...too many times i believed in the magic of love...

..love conquers all...

..love is the most wonderful thing...

and a lot of things like that...

i fell in and out of love before,and i was never afraid to love again..i was hurt, but still i managed to get up..

but now, i could not understand, why, now that i've grew up and been through a lot of things in this world, when i have told myself, i'm ready for the real one...the one that i meant to keep for the rest of my life...the one i've swore to love till the end, is the same one that will betray and dump me off...

maybe, i'm one of those who have no luck in love...i'm someone who do have a sign taped at my back..not just taped, but tattooed on my skin..someone cursed never to be happy in terms of love...

moving on is the only option handed to me by fate...moving on that for some means going forward,leaving the past behind...but for someone who's been hurt too much, like me, moving on is merely about getting used to the pain, crying as a form of a habit, and smiling full of pretensions...that's moving on for me...getting NUMB for the rest of my life..it is because forgetting the love that ones made you very happy and optimistic about the future isn't that easy to forget...it is far different from learning your first ABC's or learning your lessons at school...for that one great love that i've hugged so tightly and built my future with is one of a kind...one good reason why i'm still breathing...and one damn reason why i kept on crying...

even if someone new will come, as the cliche goes, i know, i will not be able to love him the same way i did loved the one before him...and i know, one way or another, this tattoo that i have will forever haunt my life to my last breath at different forms and of differing reasons...

a sign that i will forever endure...

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Miss Universe 2007

Rating:★★★
Category:Other
I was not able to watch it...But, as far as I've heard, I didn't missed a big event (that I expected it to be big!)...I've always admired Tere, but too bad, she was not able to make it...Well, at least, she got the Miss Photogenic award, with prizes similar to a third runner-up winner, not really bad, let's look at the brighter side, she won larger prize ompared to the fourth placer...But I feel bad for she was not able to showcase her wits...Anyway, Miss Universe is not for her, maybe the bar's waiting for her to be the country's number 1 lawyer...And this year's event did not turned out to be big,not because I'm bitter with the results, but simply because the event now is filled with a lot of controversies...I guess, God did allowed Tere not to win to have our country off the issues hovering the said pageant...

With all the sponsors, it is justifiable that Miss Japan wins, even if Miss Korea is far more beautiful than this woman... For me, Miss Korea should have won over Miss Japan...

These are just my opinions...If I offended anybody, my apologies...Anyway, it's a free country, and I'm entitled for my own opinions...

another open letter...this time, it's for me!

how i wish someone would write me a sweet letter like this...hahaha!dream on, cy! who remembers this letter?it was aired on tv,really loved the content of his letter...changed the name to justify my fantasy,hahahaha!

*****************************************************************************

My Dear Cy,

One day I will disappear completely. The letters will mean nothing.

The world will get tired of me.
You will get tired of me.
I will get tired of myself.
I'm dying.
But I will never get tired of you.

For you there will be no endings.
I will say your name over and over.
Like a refrain and a prayer to no one.

Then I'll be a flower. The one you'll never pick.
And will endure the breathless waiting 'till boundaries disappear.

With nothing to do I make new constellations.
Images of you as I remember.
Dancing, sitting, walking...
They are stars from a different view.

But still I see nothing but you.
Unfurling like a flower.
Swiveling like a leaf.

I once watched you sleep beside me.
It was dark then.
But the darkness is deeper now.

Tonight in my dreams I will see you.
My lady clothed only in light.

***

Like a kite I'm giving myself up to the wind.
I've made friends with the sun.
Confused the birds with strange and distant voyages.
But it is you that ties the thread and holds me down.

Like a kite I will forever hold your hand.
And with the burning human longing in your hands, I surrender.
I will never get tired of you.
For you there will be no endings.

I will say your name over and over.
Cy, Cy...
Like a refrain.
My prayer to no one.

You know I will never get far and there is no need for my return.
Only travellers leave.
I've never been a traveller for I have never left.
I am lost simply.

I wanted to be in a place I have never been and will never be of all destinations.
I longed to be lost in the fields of your hair.
Lost among your thoughts as you are already in mine.

You are my will to live.
My life started when I loved you,
and that's how I wanted to end.

Yours forever,

_____________

*****************************************************************************

moving on...part III

am i right?this is my part three already? it took me a long while that i forgot what step i should be right now...

<edited, checked my site again...am right, it's part three!>

continuing...

now, where am i? am not that far yet, i can still see that place...i can still picture "us" on that place a little while ago...but there's no more turning back...i have to stand firm with my words that i'm through with him...that our story is over...and i have to accept that not all stories have happy ending...

got this excerpt from the recently ended tv series here in the Philippines... the lines struck me...

"Even if we want it to...
Happily Ever After is not always true.
If stories end as lives are bound to,
then how do you say goodbye to someone you promised forever to?
With tears and with sorrow,
The never-ending night concedes to tomorrow...
For in the end, there is none to find,
It is but love that's left behind."

 

since i've heard and read this thing, i've decided that my third step will be influenced by this line...that there are no longer fairy tales where the princess ends with her prince charming and they live happily ever after...for fairy tales are only make-believes, and reality is a totally different story... that no matter how hard we try to make our story fairy tale-like, it would be impossible, for our lives are carved differently by the Ultimate Sculptor and that there is no fairy godmother to grant our every wishes in order for us to end with our dream princes...what we only hold is the faith that He wrote the best story for us...that even if it's living without our prince charming, at least, He made sure there will be a knight in shining armor at the end of the story...

 

currently, i am still inside the castle that i've built with my prince who turned into a frog (nice metaphor here,lol!) and that frog, i no longer know where it hopped,maybe found a lady frog and left the castle ahead of me...i am still looking for my way out of this perplexity...how i wish i can find the exit soon...

 

i wish i wouldn't reach step ten of moving on...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

who says my life is wonderful?!? it isn't..and it never will...

    i hate this month! two years ago, this was the most memorable month of my life, but now?! i dunno... few days ago, got a message from him... i was delighted, only to feel really down and devastated after the conversation... i felt like the whole world fell on my shoulder... it's like the end of everything for me... i suddenly felt weak...alone...betrayed...and unloved...then i began to ask myself, what's wrong with me? what's missing that keeps them away from me? what is it that they find in me that makes them lost their way and leave me behind? and then i began to question the existence of God (which i know i shouldn't do...) for i could not understand His ways... i could not find the answers...i don't know why He keeps on placing me into trials, my whole life through...pakiramdam ko tuloy my whole life is a mess, a series of mistakes that could never ever be corrected, no matter how hard i try to...
    eto pa, akala ko i'm very much blessed with this job of mine...well, in a way, yes..they're paying me well, if not just, at least it's enough...but ewan ko ba, lately, i'm feeling really tired of this job...OT dito, OT dun, halos dito na nga ako natutulog every other day...they said i should be thankful kasi madami kami work, it means, madaming nagtitiwala sa product namin...i agree, but then again, we're humans as well, di ba nila magagawan ng paraan na maayos ang sistema nila?we need a break as well, di lang ang mga admin people na wala namang masyadong ginagawa ang nagdedeserve ng vacation..and not because i am still on probi period eh wala na kong right sa vacation ko...it's election day tomorrow, and where am i?at work,analyzing unlimited samples and waiting for midnight to come to finish all these stuffs..yes, you heard it right...*sigh* am going to spend the night here at the office again..."okay lang yan, you're entitled to holiday pay,malaking pera panggimmick,finally you can spend time with your call center friends na matagal ng nagyayaya lumabas..."yan na lang pakonswelo ko sa sarili ko eh...but is it working?i dunno...
    ano pa bang nakaka-piss off sa kin ngayon...ah,sobrang dami na i'm even tired typing everything out...how i wish time would stop so that i could at least give sometime for myself naman...tiem for me to reflect on what have been's...what i've done wrong...where i've done wrong...and what i'm supposed to do...now that my life is in total chaos, i guess i need some tiem to retreat from the world and rearrange everything...
   

Thursday, May 10, 2007

angel's wings - an open letter

My Angel,

Thanks for the memories shared with me. Thanks for the moments, even if those were just stolen moments and even if that was only for a short while. Thanks for making me feel loved even if I know those are lies. Thanks for the lessons you taught me and for being there at my side when I am at my weakest… Thanks for making me laugh during my most difficult times, and for making me cry reminding me that I could never have everything that I want to have, including you…

Sorry for the times when I became so fickle-minded. Sorry for the times when I caused you so much pain and sufferings. Sorry I came into your life and made you so miserable, I never intended to hurt you this way… Sorry for all of my shortcomings…

I will surely miss the old times, the moments under the rain... the movies…the stories, sad and happy…the arguments…I will surely miss you and everything that we have done together and shared…

I hope you’d be happy now… I hope you’d find your true happiness…not just a temporary one that I have offered…You deserved to be happy for you are such a wonderful person in and out…I wish you all the best this life could bring, a happy life, a contented love life, a successful career…

You will always be remembered…You will always be in my heart and mind…You will always be my angel…

Remember, in times of your adversities and sadness, I will always be your angel… I will be here to help and support you, I am just one phone call away…I will forever be your angel…I will forever love you, my one and only angel…You know that you are the first and last person I’d ever love…I am giving back you your wings for you to find the place where you will be most happy…

Again, you will always be remembered…You will always be in my heart and mind…You will always be my angel…Thanks for everything, for the lessons learned and for the memories shared and experiences gained…Our memories together will forever be cherished, in my heart and in my mind…You are the most wonderful gift God had sent my way…

Take care always…I will always be at the other side of the rainbow…I love you and I forever will…may God be with you always…and may God lead you to where you will be most happy…



"..loving you is all that means to me, then being happy is all i hope you'll be...loving you must mean i really have to SET YOU FREE..."