February Is Almost Over

In few days, it's gonna be over. March will finally come to keep us company, bringing along a beautiful spring. I, honestly, am excited for it. I had enough of the negative temperature days, I long to see the sun and finally wear skirts (yay! I miss skirts!). Spring means new life and I am welcoming it with open arms!

I had promised, since the day I started this blog, that I will be treading this path with my head held up and a smile painted on my face. I promise to look beyond the façade of ugliness that is trying to hover over the beauty of life. And I realized that I really can do it. There had been situations in my life this month that was really hard to be happy. New environment because I started to go back to school, new people challenging my patience and friendliness everyday, different cultures that make it hard for me to adapt and make friends that easily. I almost gave up, I wanted to go back home. It was so difficult for me, I got to see real life, and being happy was a challenge. But I shrugged the negative feelings, painted a smile when it is hard to show a genuine one. Little by little, I am starting to win new friends. Little by little they sit beside me now and start talking with me. I no longer need to paint a smile, for I can already do it genuinely. It is hard to be happy at the beginning, but once all the odds are out, everything just starts to be all right. One just needs to be a little giving. I hope that at the coming of spring, I can already call one of them my friend.

I am so happy with the kind of life I am living right now. I love my family and I thank them for bringing happiness to me everyday, for supporting me and telling me that there's no reason to give up.

Happy Valentines Day!

What have you planned for this day? By us is simple: my husband will drive to work while I spend half my day conjugating verbs and learning new vocabularies. In the evening, we might eat something we both crave for, grilled pork or chicken maybe and drink a few glasses of red wine. We planned not to go out for dinner because the weather is crazy! A little bit warmer temperature but lots of snow! Hence, better for us to enjoy the night in our warm apartment. Anyway, everyday is already Valentines day when we're together. :-)

If you are single, don't feel so low, celebrate this day with your parents instead. The main thought for this day is all about LOVE, no matter to whom that love is meant for. Important thing is we all celebrate the wonderful feeling called LOVE.

Happy Valentines Day World!

It's So Magical

One thing I love about winter: SNOW.

Despite the below freezing point temperature, which can be as low as -25 degrees Celsius, Winter is one of my favorite season, next to it is Autumn. I love to watch snow slowly falling down from the sky. However, our location is considered one of the hottest place in Germany, hence snow is not that too often nor too many. Nevertheless, when it starts to fall, I love to sit by the window and stare at it. It is so magical, how it glistens at night and how light they seems to be. Just there, floating in the air, taking their time to fall on earth. Then, after a few minutes, everything is so peaceful, so white and beautiful! It feels so soft under your feet and so fine between your fingertips. It seems like you suddenly are in Wonderland, it's so magical!

It is like telling me to take everything easy, never hurry on anything, for no matter how long it may seem, you'll get there, to your destination, because that is how God had planned everything. So leave everything in God's hand, and enjoy every moment, because it is not that long, in few moment you are no longer where you are right now and would regret not being able to enjoy every moment this life gives.

Prost To Three Years of Love and Friendship!

Today is the day of remembering that special day, three years ago. That was on the evening of  5th of February, when I finally reciprocated his love to me. I never expected it to be this enchanting and lasting. I thank God for sending him along my way. I have never been this happy and contented all my life.

I will always be in love with my husband no matter what age we are.

February Is My Month!

A Large Chair at Freizeit Park in Büdingen

First, I had this new blog, then I decided to look at the brighter side of my life. I did not realize before that positive thinking yields positive results. Truly, it does not hurt to wait for a while, for God is always at work for something good for all of us.

I almost feel so down because I had been here in Germany for 3 months now and still not able to start my language classes. It is because there is always no available slot for me. I really want to give up and fly back to the Philippines. Staying at home all day and not able to meet other people or go to other places makes me feel really low. However, everything's going to change starting next week. My husband talked to the school and they found a slot for me! Yes, finally! I can go back to school and get busy on something - learning and nurturing my German.

Maybe some of you wonder why is it so important for me. Well, for one reason, German language is such a very important tool for a foreigner like me. Germany is a country who loves its native language so much. Unlike in the Philippines, all road signs, buildings, newspapers, etc. are written in German. Hence, in order to survive and have a better life, German is the most important tool to have. True, I do have a little knowledge already, but it is not enough, especially now that I am eyeing a very nice job somewhere.

Secondly, my former professor wrote an email to me. It is not something about job or research proposal, it is all about our faith. Starting this Holy Week, I am officially a contributor for the Tanghalang Anluwage website. It has always been part of my life serving Jesus and the church. When I arrived here in Germany, I felt sad because for the first time, after more than a decade of being part of Teatrong Kumot (a local theater in San Jose, Batangas, Philippines who portrays the Passion of Christ every Holy Week), I would not be a part of it this year. It has been one of my ways of serving the Lord, aside from going with the youth council for apostolate, since I was in high school. It has already been my way of life. But God always finds a way, He made me be part of Tanghalang Anluwage so I can still serve Him, and now I am serving Him ONLINE. :)

My February has just started, so I know there are more good news to come. I am very much excited for the following days and very positive on everything. I miss busy days, and I am happy my busy days are slowly coming back to me. I am glad my chair is comforting, high and large enough for me to sit and watch the world around me and welcome every opportunity that might knock at the door.  I am also willing to share this chair with everyone out there. :)

Happiness Is A Choice

I used to be a grumpy one. It seems like nothing ever pleases me. I always felt like the world has turned its back on me. My best friend used to say I am a sad person not because I am always in deep sh*t, but because I always failed to see the beauty in my life. Before, I could not understand her, what beauty in my life had she seen in mine that I failed to see. I am an illegitimate child, though I was able to carry my dad's name by law, all my childhood Christmases and New Years were spent only with my mom. Then, just these past few days, I decided to list down the blessings I had in the past that I forgot to be thankful of:

1. I am alive! My mom gave life to me despite the complicated future awaiting us.
2. Despite the fact that I didn't see my dad that often in the past, he still sent me to the best schools in town.
3. My mom is still there to fight for me and take care of me, even if she got all the right to breakdown and abandon me.
4. My grandpa was always there for me, and filled up for my dad. Even if he's in heaven now, I can still feel his presence in my life, still there for me, guiding supporting and protecting me.
5. I was gifted with a good brain, hence I am always on the list of honor students and always one of those favored by our teachers.
6. We got a house over our heads even if it is just a small one.
7. I got my friends who accepted me for who I am and for whatever kind of family I came from.
8. I was able to get through all the sicknesses I had in the past: heart disease that was diagnosed at the age of 2 which miraculously was healed at the age of 12 (without any operation!), dengue fever which was luckily still at the milder stage (but I had to stay at the hospital for 7 days).
9. As I grow up, my half-brothers and half-sister learned to accept me and my mom and are closer to me and mom than their own mom (except for the youngest who is still aloof to me until now).
10. When I had to take the licensure board exam, I passed it at one take, even if honestly, I spent most of my review days dining out alone or with friends, sleeping, chatting with my roomies and on every social networking sites there is.
11. Finding a job is always a breeze for me, I send my resume, they call me for interview as soon as they received my CV, and then a day after my interview, they'd call me for salary negotiation. It has always been like that, hence I always have the best companies on my list to choose from. This is true for me even now that I am in Germany and my German is still that bad, a week after I signed up for the online job agent, I received an e-mail asking me to contact them for a possible job interview.
12. I met and married the greatest man in the world, next to my grandpa and my uncles. I never thought that I'd be loved this way in my entire life.

Now that I learned to turn on the light, I realized that my best friend is right, I got lots of reason to be happy about and stop living in the gloom. I thank her for reminding me to turn on the light and see all the beauty in my life. Happiness is indeed a choice, it is up to us whether we'd forever walk in the darkness or turn on the light that we always forget we always carry in our pockets.

Happy February!

This month is also the month when I finally found my way in my once-crazy-world or I think it is better to say,  when I finally woke up from a nightmare.

Three and half years ago, I already stopped living. I was simply like a sleep-walker along the streets, no emotions, just walking and dreaming. I felt betrayed and unloved by the whole world that it feels better when I am asleep. I was totally lost in the darkness of my life. Then, it was during my training in Germany when I found my way towards reality. Distance from my usual place helped me to "detoxify" my life. Finally, on the month of February of the year 2009, I was reborn. Last tears were dried, the sun shone brightly and showed me the way. I thought it was still one of those dreams I had been dreaming of for so long which usually ends up as a nightmare. But I was wrong.  One man helped me to wake up from my nightmare and live on my fairytale fantasy. My knight-in-shining-armor came just in time for the Valentine's Day. It was one of the loveliest day of my life.

It was February when I stopped dreaming and started living.