tigress power!

HAPPY 2010 TO ALL!!!

There are a lot of things to be grateful about for the year 2009, however, we always need to say goodbye to the old year. We are now by 2010, 2:20am of January 1, 2010 to be exact. It's exciting, at the same time frightening. But just how Fr. Jerry said over his sermon, "Que Sera Sera, What will be, will be", I am leaving everything to God. I just hope and pray that this year would be as fruitful and happy as the past year.

And as a tradition, me too, have some New Year's resolution, and I hope I can live it up this year:

1. I will not be overly sensitive on things, specially towards Mom.

2. I will  not be overly paranoid, rather, trust my other half whole-heartedly.

3. I will make sure I lose weight and get back to my old waist line (I won't mention it though ;))

4. I will always keep my motivation to work at high level.

5. Have ample time for my family.

6. Minimize sleeping hours from 10 to 8 hours, and do other important stuff instead.

7. I will work harder to provide good life for my mom.

8. I will finish A1 level and be able to take the SD1 exams this year.

9. Give time to my faith, by attending my regular Sunday mass.

10. Forget the painful past and travel light this year.

Tigers are known to be smart and strong. And having 2010 to be year of the tiger, I will do my best to have the same prowess like the tigers and make this new year as fruitful and meaningful as the past 2009.

Thank you, 2009 for all the blessings and happiness that was brought about after meeting U. Welcome 2010! I hope that this year would provide us more blessings and happiness as we start to travel lightly in life.

Thank you God for our life. Thank you for all my friends. Thank you for my family. Thank you for the gift of love.

May everyone be filled with LOVE, HOPE and PEACE this 2010.

new year's wish

i will not write anything about new year's resolution, coz i am not always able to keep it up... instead, i will have new year celebrated like our eastern sisters and brothers, a birthday celebration for me... so every birthday of mine, i always have wishes...

and all i want is a little numbness for my heart... being too sensitive for the needs of other people is beginning to be too much for me...

they tend to be abusive... asking a lot from me, but i get nothing in return, especially on the times i needed them the most...

because in the end, it is always just me all alone...

all i want for christmas... for my birthday too!

Yes, it is just a few hours away before my birthday; same as the countdown that UST is doing now at Paskuhan 2009 to mark the countdown to the Quadricentennial event in 2011 (sigh! Wish I am there to witness the lighting of the Christmas tree and the traditional fireworks display, but no, I’m at work…)…Anyway, going back to the countdown before my birthday, I guess this is the best time to look back to the 25^th year of my life and list down the things I have to be thankful about:

1.      Despite what the world economy had gone through this year, I still have work (though I kinda find it boring at times, LOL!)

2.      A happy heart, (need I say more?) =) :-x

3.      A healthy body, well at least I only had flu one time, and me and my family were spared from that AH1N1 thingy

4.      My mom is healthy, though she got hospitalized twice (one for vertigo and latest was the allergy), but thank God it was not that worse, unlike last year with my father

5.      I got a little higher in my German language level (not complete though, I have just finished A1.2)

6.      So far we got no problem financially, I still got few new stuffs for myself (that are just wants and not really necessity, my Jet in the first place) and got my mom her needs

7.      I got my friends around: old friends I get to see again and new ones I get to meet along the way

8.      A new home is being built now for mom

9.      And a lot more small things that I get to experience this year.

As I start my journey on my 26^th year on earth, I still have some other wishes too!

1.      I wish I could finish and PASS my German Language classes, and get more than 90% on the exam (so I can get that “Ich bin Goethe Geprüft” shirt, hahaha!)

2.      I hope U can really fly here this coming year, I miss him so much

3.      Quiet and peaceful election (wow! So patriotic wish! Hahaha!)

4.      A peaceful country

5.      Continuously healthy body for me and my family

6.      A work, at least until I get that SD1 Zertifikat and get to fly to Germany

7.      A Christmas at least on our new home, or at Germany (I am torn on this part)

8.      A quiet and happy family, away from intrigues and harm

9.      That my cousins get to be successful as well

10.     A Wii as a material wish (LOL!)

11.     I wish I will learn how to ride a bike (yes, I can’t ride a bike! Huhuhuhuhu…)

12.     After #11, learn how to drive

13.     A happy new year, with a happy heart always ^_^

Truly, men do not get satisfied… And I am one of them…

Three hours to go!

A Happy Birthday To Me!!! ^_^

finally got it now...

can't believe i was able to complete the stickers for my starbucks planner as early as now! am i that addicted to coffee this time?

inside the box
(part of the sales of this planner helps Spark of Hope foundation)


the roast design
(i actually wanted the beans however the branch at
north harbour doesn't have that design last Sunday morning)


closer look at the roast design, it's toleerable

well, not bad, i thought the spaces were small, but it's just okay... ^_^

so now i guess, i can help my friends complete their own sticker cards... but i still want the beans though... =)

I'm So Excited!

Instead of working on the documents sent to me yesterday, I am procrastinating again. I’ve spent half of my shift searching over the internet about the best deals for the month of April 2010. I know it is still far, but at least I can have an estimate of how much it’ll cost us going to Bohol, or Palawan, or simply at Puerto. And surprisingly, Bohol is way cheaper than Puerto, with all other interesting stuff to do, unlike going to Puerto wherein all we could do is swim, dive and snorkel. Since tarsiers are so popular in Germany, I have thought of showing him a real tarsier, face to face, eye to eye, not just like those shown on Germany TV ads (yes, there’s an ad with a tarsier as the main cast, hahaha! I forgot the product though, schade!). Oh well, I just hope that he would also like the itinerary I have planned. =)

Do I sound so excited? Not really, just a little, hahaha! =)

moving forward

owkie... cleaning up is done... am i fooling myself?!? i just deleted 4 old posts! hahaha!

whatever! maybe i am just soooo pre-occupied that is why i cannot write anything with sense, because reading back my past posts, may sense naman kahit pa'no, except of course when i rant over my past jobs... hahaha!

oh well... life moves on... and i'm glad on where i am now...

clean up time!

yes, I have thought of it once again… clean up my blog site… remove unwanted posts… make this a little more logical instead of pure randomness full of non-sense… I wish I can complete it fast… I wish I can do it better this time…

this site will be temporarily unavailable for some time… watch out for the new look and new thoughts… =)

when stubborness strikes

i went to see my goddaughter's birthday party... a children's party with adults as guests! so much fun!

after the party, starbucks caught my attention... so instead of heading to the jeepney terminal back to complex, i went inside starbucks and get myself some iced peppermint mocha... and that christmas tumbler i've been eyeing for soooooooooooo long! ^_^ that glossy red design is pretty... ^_^

and i am just your typical stubborn girl, said i will get away from coffee because of this questionable palpitations these past few days, but i still get myself a cup today... and since i got dozens of tumbler, mom said not to waste my money any longer on those tumblers since they are all just the same, only the design varies, but still, i get myself a new one... ANG KULIT KO LANG NOH?

randomness

- i am not sure if i have an old post with this title.
- it took me so long to post back here again. thanks to this slow smart bro, it allowed me to access ONLY blogger, and it just keeps on logging me out of FB and twitter.
- it was so traffic on my way home to batangas this afternoon, i almost did not make it with my appointment with joyce for my braces (thank God she got a lot of patients!)
- saw an überly handsome kiddo sa jeepney on my way to san jose, i suddenly remember mom's comment on who my nephew's look alike is... guess who! ALAN COMPLE!
- my reaction on the comment above? WTF!?!?! kian is WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY more handsome than alan... hahaha!
- i feel so sad with all that's happening here in the philippines, makes me want to leave philippines as soon as possible.
- will be going to sta. rosa tomorrow for my inaanak's birthday party, but i planned to stay late, coz i want to see what will happen at PBB.
- saw this tweet from PBB Secretary, bagyong issa?!? meaning, house will merge soon?!?!
- posting here tonight makes me realize that I MISS BLOGGING SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
- but i miss U more tonight, since SmartBro is not cooeprating with me, damn it!
- YOU SUCK SMART BRO! Sun is way better! at least SUN is not promising good network in the provinces, but you and globe tattoo promised consumers, just to fool us and get money from the people
- di naman obvious na galit ako sa smart bro noh?
- at random talaga ang nangyari sa post ko...
- i will soon be starting with level 1.3 of my deutsch! egzoyting !
- if only i am not lugi to get PLDT DSL, papakabit na talga ko dito sa batangas, but then, i am not frequently home here, so sayang lang...
- di bale, once the new house is okay, papakabitan ko talga ng DSL yun with or without people
- kung san ang location ng house na nabili ko, secret muna, SOON, i'll reveal here... hehehe...
- i feel sad for the journalists and their families... why are there people like those killers?!?! they do not have place on earth, neither in heaven, for sure!
- next week's last meeting with 1.2, exams exams exams!
- on 12th fitting naman ng gown for ron's wedding! anubeh! di pa ko sexy! ampf! i hate this beer belly!!! di na nga ko umiinom eh... :(
- YEY for me for the long Christmas holiday that Mathias had granted me! 2 weeks! yipee!
- egzoyted to meet with Ody and Tel on the 26th!yey!
- UST Chem will have homecoming ON MY BIRTHDAY! yes! exactly ON MY BIRTHDAY! they love me! hahaha! assuming!
- wala na ko maisip na masulat, haha!
- i love you U! i miss you!!! :)
- kelangan yan kasi lagi sya nagbabasa dito, hahaha!
- need to end this long random thoughts, baka eto naman ang ma-DC ng wala sa oras...

How To Look Productive At Work

Bet I got you onto reading, and I am sorry for that. If you are a friend, you may continue reading, but if you find this a waste of your time, then it’s a goodbye then, I do not want to be blamed by you for wasting your most precious time. J

Ich bin heute so fröhlich. Warum? Weil hat die Sonne heute in Manila gescheint! Endlich, ich denke, alle Taifun ist schon fertig. Danke sehr Gott!

Jetzt bin ich wieder in Arbeiten grundlos, aber muss ich hier für 1 Jahr und 5 Monate mehr arbeiten. Zu lange, huhuhuhu...

Enough! I have nosebleed na, and not even sure if my German is okay, hahaha! Sometimes kasi I need to use it for practice, kesa naman Saturdays lang nagagamit sa class. Lately kasi have no work load demanding for my use of the language, so I think the language is rotting in me, syempre, boyfie cannot always call me coz it’s so expensive for him, and vice versa.

To be sure I am inline with my title; here are few things I do to look like I am productive at work:

1.      I have my Outlook maximized and open all the time. Make sure when you do the toggle, it is the first window that will be shown on your monitor.

2.      Updating the outdated. That’s what I do when I really have no workload to finish. Lucky are those whose blogs are unblocked by their company IT. As for me, it is blocked, but is still a big advantage, coz it looks more productive, coz I update it using the Outlook (yes, post via e-mail is a BIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGG help for bloggers like me).

3.      Learn a language. It doesn’t matter if you have a foreign boy/girlfriend or fiancé. Learning a new language is fun! In my case, I am doing it for a lot of reason, but overall, I find it really fun. Next plan: FRENCH! (too much dreaming for me I guess, I am loooooooooong way far from starting a French class).

4.       If your line requires manuals, it is good to browse those manuals when you have idle time. In that way, you won’t have to cram and panic when real problem arise.

5.      Be active. It is good too if you are proactive with some company activities, hence, you won’t find any idle time at work.

6.      Have a twitter account and follow those interesting people in town. You’ll find great words of wisdom from Paulo Coelho to Ramon Bautista (yeah, I’m following them, hahaha!).

7.      Get in touch with some friends via IM, if you have that installed, or if not, meebo or e-buddy is a big help too! But make sure you are not disturbance for them, though. J

Okay, gleich ist Pause (Mommy Pam’s Geburtstag Feier), ich gehe jetzt. Ich wünsche ihren einen schönen Abend! Bis bald! Tschüss!

Little Adventure

mmofive years ago, Milenyo did not let me go home after my shift... and this year, Ondoy ALMOST made me sleep by the bus along EDSA...

i was both scared and worried yesterday as i sit by the bus and see the news from GMA about flooded streets in metro manila. i was afraid that i might sleep by the bus because there was already flood along EDSA Guadalupe, Santolan and Cubao underpass, making the vehicles almost immobilized along EDSA.

my worries came when mom texted me that the water was already neck-deep downstreet our house, and little more rain and the water would reach our house, for sure. sad, we do not have 2nd floor, as this was built years ago, and the engineer was confident we are situated at a fairly high location. but with the case yesterday, i was thankful the rain stopped or else, i am part of those sleeping by the centers now...

my family's safe, the water finally subsided by 12midnight, and did not reach our house... however,there are still thousands of poor souls who are still by their rooftops, nothing to wear, nothing to eat... damn this government system! if it were not because of their corrupt hands, there would be enough to help save these people from this tragedy...

those private institutions and private people are way, way better than these public servants we all expect in times like this... how funny that morning yesterday, i still saw all these "GWAPONG MMDA" by EDSA, but come 1pm, while we were so desperate to go home in bus, these "GWAPONG MMDA" were GONE!!! there were cars and motorbikes that broke down along EDSA, but there were no MMDA in sight to help out, other drivers, and concerned people were the ones who helped these people out, never mind getting wet by the rain, just to help these people out, but these MMDA officers were out of sight on this time they are needed most along EDSA.

READ: if they were there (and are really GWAPO to do their jobs) by their posts, i guess those trucks and rubberboats of AFP, PNP and Navy that were trapped with us (yes, they were actually on time, but were trapped at EDSA) could have made it in time, and was able to save more lives.

it's true, there's no BAYANI who's alive, not even that chairman!

"In My Life" is a STORY OF MY LIFE

Just came home from the cinema, I treated my mom for a date, and watched her all-time favorite actress, Gov. Vilma Santos, and also as a support since part of the earnings will go to some projects in Batangas. Anyway, another reason I wanted mom to watch it is because I want her to understand me, even if it is kinda late na ata...

I do not want to spoil the story here, but the part when they were at the park, it was like me and mama talking, not Luis and Vilma.

Me: Remember the time when you found out someone likes me, you started to treat me coldly, and even the people who you call "kunsitidor".

Mama: Because it came as a surprise, it was not that easy for me to accept.

Me: Eh, remember the time when I told you that I am one of those top students of our class, and I do have numerous awards during highschool graduation? You were not satisfied with it and told me, why not as great as Lyn's? I just  kept quiet then, but deep inside, I cried.

Mama: Because I think you deserve the same as Lyn's.

Me: Then I passed UST, and you said "why not UP?"

Mama was just silent.

Me: Since then, I chose not to share things with you, because I felt like, whatever I do, I always end up a disappointment for you.

Sad but true, those lines are not just movie lines, they do happen to real people, and it happens to be ME...

Another part that hit me was the part with Dang and their mom, narrating all the pains and tortures she had with her mom, and the way her mom suppressed and did not supported what she really wanted to be. Mom too, did those things to me, and I cannot help not to cry because as I listen to her telling those incidents, I can remember myself being slapped, and being told that I ain't somebody suitable to be a MassCom nor a Journalism graduate. It hurts that your own mother do not believe on your potential, but sad but true, Shirley IS a real person in real life.

I am Mark in the movie, at the same time, I am Dang... I ain't the writer of that film, but whoever they are, you hit me right on the spot. You were able to express all those feelings kept for so long in my heart, thoughts that I cannot blurt out because I am so afraid to hurt my mom. Thanks for coming up with this movie, through this movie, I was able to convey my message to my mom, that my life does not have always to evolve around her, that there are other people with whom I have to meet and love in this life.

Shirley is not only my mom in real life, I am aware, there are other mothers that is like Shirley as well, and it is not only me who is Mark/ Dang in real life, there are millions too out there. 

"In My Life" movie is a story of my life as well, and a story of others out there who needs help how to proceed with MOVING FORWARD...

Kudos to the team, thank you very much, you were able to magnify my life in such a beautiful way. Thank you for bringing such wonderful film!

*comment lang, sana naman di ganun ka-exag ang face ng pinili nyo na Pamela! haller?!?! daming magandang Fil-am or Americanized Filipinas noh! maganda pa si Vice, seriously!i like Vice's fashion ha!*

To Have or Not To Have

I have been contemplating the whole day whether I will have myself a haircut, though I have told my mom and boyfriend that I will grow my hair this year and wear another wavy style, but then I find my hair so dull and boring. Wearing a simple straight and childish hair makes me look so out-dated (haha!)…   So I searched the web and found numerous hairstyles that fascinates me, but I am not confident enough that all these styles would fit me... Overall, it shows that I love bob hairstyles, the question only falls now whether to have or not to have a haircut...

---

New Email addresses available on Yahoo!
Get the Email name you've always wanted on the new @ymail and @rocketmail.
Hurry before someone else does!

i.should.be.in.bed.sleeping.

but i'm not! hahaha! oh well, outside, it's raining cats and dogs again, best time to tuck myself to bed, but i can't... insomnia strikes again... it's also because at this time, i am really awake, chatting, but since he is out of state, and only he knows what time he'll be back home, so no chatting for tonight...

i.want.to.sleep.now.but.i.can't.963.is.not.helping.now... :( (sigh!)

A Year and a Half

If this is some kind of a romantic relationship, this sure is something to celebrate, but it isn’t that way. This is no love story to start with… Even if I like the way they treat me, even if they find me great, this is just isn’t my place. I thought, I belong here, but now it’s clear, I don’t.

How many more days are left for me to reach the 21^st of March, 2011? Why can’t time just run faster? I am not tired of the work, am not mad over tasks, it’s just that I don’t belong here…

I miss the scent of chemicals, the sound of stirring rod as it touches the beaker; I miss the waiting time for the chromatographs from the HPLC and/ or the GC. I miss them, but I am not sure if I can still go back working with them. I mean, yes, it’s great experience being able to work here, I’ve learned a lot, but it has deprived me of the chances to work on these products and can boastfully say that I am a specialist of these products. I may be fully equipped with all the technical terms, and knowledgeable of how these works “technically”, however, the point is, I do not work on them hands-on, all I know are just in words, I have not seen such errors in real life, and they only describe it to me. Then, how can I market myself to the outside world after my bond? How are they going to believe me that I am a specialist of this product when in fact, I only worked on it for 4 months, the rest were only by words.

Sometimes, back-office jobs are not as fulfilling as manufacturing jobs are. Sometimes, it can be as frustrating as any other jobs out there, but I have to hold on and move on.

For now, I know no other way to kill this frustration and boredom, but to simply continue counting down the days.

This is for sure, once I am out of the bond, I’ll try my best to be out of here, and return to the laboratory, right where I used to be…

lemme go!!!!!!!!

I just grabbed this chance when, I’m so dead bored, tired, and sleepy over one document I am asked to rewrite. Today’s the 3^rd day of that document on my table, and even if it’s Friday, I just don’t feel the urge of finishing it. Anyway, the document would take effect on October, and I don’t think it would take a month for a document to reach Lithuania from Germany, right? I can still work on this one next week, oh well, I MUST work on it next week, or else, I’m dead.

‘Tis just so boring Friday, a typhoon is hovering over Philippines (for the 12^th time this year) and the floor is just soooooooo empty. One of my colleague had gone home (she took a half day off) and most of the people are all on their way to Bohol (yeah, despite the unfriendly weather), coz it’s a long weekend for them, yes, ONLY for them. I wanted to scan through my book of Schritte Internationalle I to prepare myself tomorrow, but I just can’t coz of this document waiting to be done ASAP.

Overall, I just want to go home, and tuck myself on my bed. This weather just makes me want to doze off any minute…

it's too late

we walked into the same building, and who would have thought we'd land the job at the same time? was it destiny that we'd even get to the clinic at the same time of that day... we jive on a lot of things, you made me laugh on the most frustrating events on that damn company...

whenever i feel so down and mad over my manager and/or seniors, you're just one message away... you were my one and only best friend on that damn company... we have decided to leave them, and find a new one, i was lucky to land the job on our dream company, and you got into a different one... despite the distance, communication never failed... i am not sure if i am really insensitive, or it is just the right thing... but i admit, i have turned you down several times...

believing we're just friends, i turned my eyes onto somebody else... and telling you that i've finally found happiness, i thought you'd be happy for me... but you turned cold, and the communication almost faded...

suddenly you'd tell me that line after turning you down for the nth time (i don't really know that group and the place's just so far)... but i was so surprised coz you've never been so frank towards me before about such things until today...

anyway, i promised you to get a date before christmas (excluding myself)... and for all the things you've done for me, i promise you, i will, best buddy...

i miss you...

pa'no nga bang magsulat? mula ng makilala ko ang twitter, nakalimutan ko na pa'no ang matinong blog writing... at mula ng mag-refresh ako ng german, namumurol na naman ang bulok ko na english... kinakabahan ako na pag nag-start ako ng classes sa saturday, mawala na ang english sa languages na carry ko gamitin...

i miss writing real stories, real events, long narration, poetry, essays and short stories... i have made a promise to finish the novel, but i just can't, i hope this doesn't mean disturbed sleep all over again... ^_^

Reminiscing Great Democratic Icons

Today’s Ninoy Aquino day, and again, bound to work despite the holiday. But then, it is not a waste of time, because of such, I was able to see, at least even for few minutes, some religious celebration held at Paseo de Roxas here at Ayala Avenue, where Ninoy’s monument is placed. It is sort of like a prayer rally, and then ended with blessing the monument. And stupidity again, not really, I am just afraid to bring my phone downstairs, because earlier, when we were buying souvenir stuffs, there was someone who kept on following us, and Jena mentioned that he acted like wanting to take advantage of the crowd and steal whatever he can get. So, the second time we went down, I brought nothing but myself, hahaha! Anyway, a lot of cams are flashing around, I can grab one photo anytime, there are Flickr, Photobucket, Multiply and other cyber places these photos would be available.

Funny thing is, I went to work early to finish one important document, but ended up procrastinating STILL! Started with the shopping wherein I bought all stuff that shows faces of these two great persons then went on buying foods that my tongue craves, boiled peanuts, and all other street foods that are not normally found here at Ayala. Gluttony, we say, but it’s just today that we would feast and join their celebration. J However, it is way tooooooo expensive day!!! Bought 2 shirts costing 100 bucks each, then a bag which also 100 bucks, but the kind lady gave me a 20 peso discount for purchasing 3 items from them. Then walking back to the building, we saw ID holder with pins, and bought one too, then saw pins and bought 1 too, and even made “patol” to those nail cutter and bottle opener with photos as well! Then the peanuts costs too much here (well, I am not in Batangas anyway), 1 serving is 20 bucks!!! But still, I bought 2 servings, hahaha! Then bought squid balls (which was 3 bucks each piece), and had 7 pieces of it, and oooppps! I saw green mangoes, and got one as well (which is already at 10 bucks!)…

So full, I feel lazy going back to work! All these shopping and eating helped me not to finish this project faster! It just made me procrastinate more…

Photos to follow!

sana'y magbalik na

ang tagal na din nung huli kong update dito... di sa wala ko time, but worse, wala ko bright idea to write...

nakaka-frustrate, almost 1 month na ang writer's block ko... sana magbalik na ang lahat ng ideas sa utak ko... gusto ko ng magsulat!!!!

Para Kay Kuya

Hindi ko ramdam at di ko nakita ang paglakad mo patungong altar, busy kasi ako sa pagtatali ng singsing sa puso. Nangilid lang ang mga luha at nasabing “this is it na talaga” nang makita ko syang lumalakad palapit sa ‘yo. Panibagong kabanata na naman ng buhay mo, at meron na namang dapat haraping pagbabago, para sa ‘yo, at para sa amin.

Unang dating ko pa lang sa probinsya nun, immigrant ako kumbaga. Bawal daw kasi sa akin ang polusyon ng lungsod, nun ko din kayo unang nakilala. Nahihiya pa nga ako kasi bago lang ako, yun pala, mga pinsan ko kayo. Tuwang tuwa kayo kasi nadagdagan na kalaro nyo. Yun nga lang, madami akong di kayang gawin…

Pero di yun mahalaga sa ’yo. Ang dami mong alam na laro na pwede pala ako. Di iniinda ang init ng araw, takbo dito at takbo doon. Pag nadapa naman ako, takbo ka sa bahay at todo sumbong na nadapa ko. Iyak lang ako ng iyak sa sakit ng mertaylet na inilalagay sa sugat ko na ang tingin ko ay bituka ko na ang isinusuka palabas. Pero inaaliw mo pa din ako, at sinasabing malayo pa sa bituka ko yun, makakatakbo pa ko ulit, makakasama pa din ako sa pagpapalipad nyo ng papagayo sa parang, makakapaglaro pa din ng taguan, tumbang preso, patintero, pepsi-7up, langit-lupa, viva-viva, at kung anu-anu pa. At ang most memorable ay ang laro natin ng Shaider, ikaw si Shaider, ako si Annie kasi lagi akong nakapalda, sabay talon sa garden nyo, at ako syempre, instant dapa na naman, at sugat sa tuhod. Tapos, aakyat kayo ng puno ng mangga, sinuegwelas at kape, ako maiiwan sa baba kasi di ako marunong umakyat ng puno. At para di ko maramdaman na “left-out” ako, sasabihan mo si Princess na di para sa babae ang pag-akyat sa puno, kaya dalawa kami laging naiiwan para mamulot ng bunga na ihahagis nyo sa amin.

Tumakbo ang mga araw, at sabi nila, binata ka na. Di ko pa naiintindihan yun nun, tawa pa ko ng tawa kasi nakapalda ka. Sabi ko bakla ka na ata kasi nagpapalda ka na. Kaltok ang inabot ko sa ’yo sa pagsasabi nun. Malay ko ba, yun pala ang simula ng pagbibinata nyo. Mula nung araw na yun, nag-iba na ang mga laro nyo, di nyo na kami sinasali sa mga lakad nyo. Naging malawak na ang mundo mo, magkaiba na ang mundo natin. Pero di naman nagtagal yun, inabutan ko din ang mundo mo, matapos ang 5 taon, naiintindihan ko na ang mga pagbabago sa inyo. Sa mga panahong ito, mas madami ng kalokohan. Di na ko nasusugatan, pero napapagalitan pa din kasi mas makulit na ang trip nating lahat. Pero ilang taon lang, nagkaroon ako ng ibang kaibigan, ganun din kayo. Grupo ng mga babae, at kayong mga lalake magkakasama. Ganun pala talaga ang pagtanda.

Kahit na ganun, may mga masasayang ala-ala pa din. Dati, iniisip mo pa ang mararamdaman namin, pero ngayon, dedma na. Nandyang pitpitan mo ng isang dosenang siling labuyo ang sawsawan ng mangga. Kung di ba naman kadamutan yun. O di kaya ay kaining mag-isa ang mga bunga na inakyat mo sa puno sa itaas ng bubong. Ang tigas ng ulo mo talaga, pero masaya pa din mga panahon na yun. Tapos, pag bertdey mo, feeling natin mga gusgusing bata pa din tayo. San ka naka-attend ng party, children’s party man o hindi, na ang palaro eh taguan, langit-lupa at tumbang preso, ang kulit lang! tapos di ka pa nakakapaghilamos at may muta pa sa mata, asa bahay ka na, pa’no, umalis na lahat sa bahay nyo at walang itinirang pagkain para sa ‘yo. Kaya ang ending, namamahaw ka sa bahay sabay katay ng lata o di kaya ay kupit ng itlog na pula mula sa storage ng paninda nyo sa bahay. Okay lang yun kay Mama, kasi nung ako maliit pa, sa bahay nyo din ako pinapakain pag inaabot ako ng tanghalian dahil sa paglalaro, kaya quits lang. Pinakahuli atang kalokohan na pinagsamahan natin ay ang pagtakas papuntang private pool na ang tanging baon ay isang lanerang leche flan, pang-entrance fee at pamasahe. Ni di natin afford ang cottage, basta mahalaga, makapag-swimming lang. Tapos gabi na, di pa tayo umuuwi, sinundan na tayo, at ang buong akala eh mapapagalitan, pero ang saya natin nung dinalhan pa tayo ng pagkain. Pagkatapos nun, bumalik na ko sa lungsod, pero umuuwi pa din naman, yun nga lang, di na ganun kadalas at katagal ang paglagi ko sa probinsya.

Pero pag bakasyon naman, suporta kami sa ‘yo sa mga laro nyo ng basketball. Yun ang lagi naming inaabangan pag bakasyon. Nakakatuwa ka noon, ramdam na ramdam namin na kuya ka nga namin. Kahit na malupit ang kakaharapin nyo na team, protektado mo pa din kami. Bawal maligawan at bawal magpaligaw, yan ang number 1 rule mo sa min. At sa mahigpit na laban, dapat magkakasama kami at malapit lang sa bench nyo, para sakaling magkagulo, mapoprotektahan nyo kami. At pagkatapos ng laro, diretso sa sasakyan at diretso uwi. Bawal tumambay ng hanggang gabi kung asa ibang lugar, pero sa bahay nyo o sa amin, okay lang kahit hanggang madaling araw.

Madami ka ding kalokohan na pinagkatiwala mo sa amin, at number one sa listahan ang pagiging playboy mo. Ang hirap kaya ng ginawa namin na pagtatakip sa girlfriend mo habang kasama mo ang isa mo pang girlfriend. Ang tagal ka din naming kinunsinte sa mga kalokohan mo. Pero normal yun, pinsan kita eh, at lumaking parang magkapatid na.

Ngayon nga, ay binitiwan mo na ang mga salita ng pamamaalam sa pagkabinata. Nakakaiyak na nakakatuwa. Sa wakas, nagpatali ka na, panibagong yugto ng buhay na naman. At gaya nung nagsimula kang magbinata, di ka pumayag na di ko masasaksihan ang bahaging ito ng buhay mo. Ako din naman, ayokong mawala sa araw na ito. At masaya ako na masaya ka sa buhay na pinili mo. Nakakaiyak, kasi may mababago na naman. Ang bunga ng punong sinuegwelas, di na ako ang papapuntahin mo sa kanal para pulutin ang mga nilalaglag mo. Baka isang piraso na nga lang ang matitikman ko. Pero masaya pa din ako, kasi alam ko naman na kahit na may-asawa ka na, isa pa din ako sa mga bunsong kapatid mo.

Pero sa totoo lang, mamimiss kita at ang mga kalokohan mo, Kuya Panget…

-nene-

Alive and Kicking

After months of being lost in the cyberspace, I decided to give back its life...

Reason?

Nothing, I just thought, "sayang ang mga naunang nasulat ko na..."

Though a lot of posts were deleted, at least I was able to save 101 of it...

And it's alive again... :)

Can't Wait To See You!!!

Not only talking about U, but also, that poster I saw by SM Cinema, which is:

Can't wait! Can't wait!!!

I just wish there is enough justice given to that great novel... ;)

Du Hast Mich

It is 30 minutes before Mothers' Day, and i just finished writing my mom her card. I know she have expected this already,  since every year she do get one from me on Mothers' Day, but I still managed to get her this one, because the message is a direct message of what might come in few years, since I am moving out of the house soon to enter another stage of my life. Also, this is the only time each year that I get very mushy towards her (in addition to her birthday), so I took the chance again! Honestly, this card was like it was written for me, one look at it last Thusday, I did not have to search for another one, it was all that I wanted to tell her, ending, I did not have much personal message written, the poem has said it all for me...

"Happy Mothers' Day Mom, wherever I go, and whatever my achievements be, you will always have me, your little girl, forever and ever. I love you Mom..."

Happy Mothers' Day to all moms out there too!

Thanks Kuya Philip for 20 Years of Patience

In fairness to the group naman, here’s the group picture of the cast. I think God has a reason why my camera was not able to save the group picture of the staff, that is where I am part of, and Kuya Erwin. And if I remember it right, I was standing right beside him.

Thanks Kuya Philip for the 20 years of patience for the group that is composed of this kind of people, all of varying life style, and personality.

It's Just IT...

Before I went for vacation last Holy Week, I was so excited about a certain event, as in I guess, everyone can feel it on my choice of words, but it’s almost a week before I post another blog to tell a story about what has happened. I guess, after that, I am not just that excited.

The play has, as always, gone on smoothly, and many people cried. Kuya Chris is indeed great with the role as Jesus. I thought I won’t be that busy, but it was the other way around (I even got my rashes after). Me and my cousin went there at 7am (they did not have overnight rehearsal, I was there at 5am, but nobody around, so I went back home). Kids just had their breakfast at 7:30am and the old casts are not yet around (except for Kuya Charlie who was surprisingly earlier than me, for the first time, after my 9 years of stay with the group!). Ate Gigi kept on sending me messages asking how everything is. Since she’s not yet around, I have to do the things she do, check every stage and every props needed. Finalize some design if needed. At the same time, I am doing documentation, taking stolen shots of people working on the curtains and props. 8:30 and still, the stages are not finalized. The chairs and plants to accessorize the stages just came, and the gate is closed, the truck cannot get in! What was worst, 9am and the kids are still roaming around, nobody has started to put on make up and get into their costumes. The make up artist for Kuya Chris was not yet around, and other casts are still missing in action (the play starts at quarter to 10). But thank God, we started in time, one yell and everyone ran and did their part.

Honestly, I did enjoy the event; it has always been sort of a reunion for me and my friends’ way back in high school. Though Cathy was not around, it is still the same feeling, seeing and having short talk with people I had grown up with. But there is something that made this year difficult. What is it? It is because this year marked a big letting go for me…

I have never thought letting go of something so dear to your heart can be that difficult… But I am not just letting go, I am offering it all to God, since HE gave me U in return of this very difficult letting go…

I just wish Kuya Erwin is really happy with his choice of serving God all his life…

(…and I need to get used to calling him Brother, which will soon be Father…)