Funny that I deleted my personal blog last year (cywussow.wordpress.com) out of frustration and depression. By the time that my health went down really fast, that I had to give up my studies and spend most of my days in the hospital, I thought "this is the end, I have to slowly shut down my cyberlife so that husband doesn't have anything to worry when I am gone." And so I started deleting Facebook accounts, WordPress and Tumblr blogs, LinkedIn account and multiple email addresses. I already accepted my fate, I already gave up. The only accounts that remained were my email address linked to my university email, the group blog for Filipinos living/ wanting to live in Germany and my Twitter. But my husband is the most optimistic person I've ever met. Without him, I may have succumbed completely to depression, if not because of my rare disease. He told me to continue fighting, and that I should not give up because he is never going to give up. Honestly, I challenged him for divorce because I don't want to be a burden for him, but he didn't accept it and reminded me of our wedding vow: "in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer...". He is indeed the greatest gift I have ever had in my life.
And now, here I am, creating a brand new online journal. At first I thought of this as an awareness blog for Marfan Syndrome, but then I realized that there are already multiple support groups here in Germany, and even if I target fellow Filipinos, my goal will remain unreachable because I am thousands of kilometers away from Philippines, and I honestly no longer have contact with my cardiologist uncles to help me start an organization. After my last post about lists of Marfan Foundations and hospitals, I was left with the question "what now?". So I did a little editing on this blog, changed the blog title, converted the About page to a blog post, edited category names, a little changes on header and voila! It is again a blog that speaks about just everything in my short life. The new blog title is the rebirth of my first-ever-now-gone-Blogspot blog. Funny that after all the multiple blog trials I did since 2005 (blogged with multiple accounts in Blogspot, Tumblr, Weebly, and WordPress), I would end up with the (almost) similar blog title of my first blog. The URL though is brand new because my past URLs are already gone for good. That said, I admit, I have really a chaotic mind, I can't just stay satisfied with one thing (except in relationship, that's the only time I settle for one for the rest of my life), and I can't blame you if you were my followers before and you no longer want to follow now because I might delete this again in the future. That might be true, I can't assure you that this is really the last one. My mind is in chaos because there are a lot of things I want to accomplish before my time is up. There are thoughts that keep on swirling and I just want them put into words in any way possible.
So let me just be me in this small world of mine in the cyberworld.
