You might be asking, what have I done in the past years. My official last post here was in 2013 saying I am officially a student. Well my WP posts may help you find the answers where I have been, but they are quite a lot, so here's a summary of what I've done in the past until today:
- 2013 - as I posted before, I was officially a student again. It was for winter semester here, I started attending DSH Vorbereitungskurs, it is a German language course that foreign students need to pass before they can officially attend the actual university program. I passed the DSH exam with DSH 2 grade, just enough to get started in the program of my choice.
- Summer semester of 2014, I had to take a semester leave. Why? I had my scoliosis implant in April 2014. I was in the hospital for like 7 days, the healing took me around 3 months before I got used to the new feeling at my back. My implant is from thoracic down to lumbar (Th4 to L4). I am doing good so far with my scoliosis, quite limited with movement, but no more pain during winter.
- Winter semester of 2014/15, I am back in the university. My average from UST was below the accepted average to start in Master program, plus I am lacking credit points, so yes, I started back in bachelor program. It was not bad at all since the medium of instruction is in German, so I got a chance to learn German words in chemistry and relearn all that I had learned back in UST in German. I also get to train my German technical writing. It's interesting to know too, that here in Germany, we had to finish a seminar about laboratory safety and waste management for like 2 months, then take the exam and pass it. Only those who passed the exam are allowed to enter the laboratory and work. I passed the exam in 1 take. I am proud to say that we are only 3 foreign students who passed it in one take (2 others are Japanese or Vietnamese boy and an Indian girl who grew up in Germany). Those who failed are given a second chance to take the exam and if they still fail, then they have to wait for another year to re-attend the seminar and take the exam again (the seminar is only once a year).
- However, by February 2015, shortly before exam days, I fell sick. It was flu but took me around 2 or 3 weeks before I was back on my feet. Hence, I had to withdraw from all exams, I was not prepared. It means, not moving forward to next lectures if the exam was a pre-requisite. Luckily, the exam for General Chemistry was not a pre-requisite for the next semester, I can attend the next lecture as normal. I then started with laboratory works during semester break (yes! no semester break for me since I took physics lab during the semester and decided to take chemistry lab during semester break). However, I felt I was not yet 100% fit. I almost collapsed during an experiment. My chinese friend asked me if maybe, I was pregnant. I didn't think about it being possible. I went to our family doctor and he just advised, I needed a rest. If I drop out of laboratory class, that means waiting another year, general chem laboratory class is a pre-requisite to get into the following semester's laboratory classes (analytical chem lab). It felt like my dreams were shattered. I was so happy being back in chemistry. I am really challenged, esp.my colleagues are young and fresh from Gymnasium,and I had my bachelor diploma 10 years ago. I love challenges. I love the pressure to solve calculus problems as fast as I can before somebody in the class solve it. I enjoy attending lectures and seminars and solve chemistry problems again. Then, I was told I need a rest. I am afraid to change my circle of friends, hence I went to my lab professor and said am dropping out of the program completely. He was sad, asked that maybe I just need another semester break, I said I already had one before WS and I am not getting younger, I cannot wait another year to start all over (I was already 31 that time!). I dropped out of the chemistry program and shifted to German studies with minor in Philosophy and History of Science (I just can't leave science behind!).
- Before the semester break ends, since I already dropped out of chemistry program, we had a vacation at Baltic Sea, in the island of Usedom. It is my husband's birthplace. We spent a week there. And it was also perfect timing that the result for my naturalization came and I renounced my Filipino citizenship the time we were up north (Usedom is around 3 or 4 hours drive to Berlin). Renunciation was the final step before they can release my certificate and grant me my new citizenship. I am officially a German since April 1st 2015.
- Summer semester starts at around April, so I am out of chemistry program already. Another colleague from chemistry also shifted to German studies. Another one I saw in law school. So our original class in chemistry was halved after a semester. Some failed the safety exam hence were forced to drop out earlier, and others were like me, the pressure and workload in chemistry was just too much and decided to take a different path the following semester. My new program was indeed more relaxed. I registered for lecture in modern German literature, introduction to philosophy, seminar for modern German literature, seminar for linguistics, philosophy seminar, latin course and I still have lots of time for my husband. I really enjoyed the program too, since I love reading. The challenge is different, it has nothing to do with numbers anymore, but it challenged me to think, to establish my own thesis/ philosophy. It was interesting and fun!
- June 2015, again just few more weeks to exam days, I fell sick. This time, it was not a normal flu. I was rushed in the hospital for excruciating pain on my left breast. The pain is like being stabbed with a knife, I can feel it till my back. I thought it was my scoliosis implant, that maybe I did something wrong. I remember carrying lots of books back home that I borrowed from the library to work on my review notes for the upcoming exams. It turned out, my aorta dissected and at the same time, an aortic aneurysm is growing. I had an emergency operation then to have a stent implant to close the dissection and stop the growth of the aneurysm. That operation meant giving up university all together, because we found out that it won't be the first of the many operations I have to go through.
- December 2015 I had another operation, again for stent implant. My aorta dissected further, hence they needed to extend the stent, and at the same time I had this "Schaufenster Syndrom", I have difficulty with my legs after standing for some minutes, so they also needed to put a stent at the artery at my right leg.
- February 2016, I had a talk with a geneticist and confirmed, I have Marfan syndrome. And if one mutation is not worse enough, it is a double mutation in my part, making my arteries more fragile than ever. Also early in 2016, after a check on my stent, my doc advised us to seek advice of RWTH Aachen Vascular Director regarding the repair of my aortic aneurysm.
- December 2016 we finally got an appointment at RWTH Aachen and the director and contact person for Marfan syndrome told me, that we need to repair the aneurysm as soon as possible. He gave us this prognosis: if not repaired, 80% chance that the aneurysm will burst in next 2 years and I only have 20 Minutes to get me in emergency operation (and from where we live, the hospital could never perform an emergency aortic aneurysm operation, I need to be flown and that means 30minutes travel time, hence, it would then be too late if it bursts), 20% that I will live more than 2 years with aneurysm. But if I get a planned operation, the chances can be reversed, i.e. 80% chances of living a longer life. That's why we chose to set an appointment for the next big operation.
- May 2017 was my planned TAAA repair operation. My aorta was replaced/ repaired and all arteries going to all internal organs and spine are repaired and sown. Imagine a tree and you decided to crochet around the main trunk and the branches. That was how the repair was done. And yes, my body gave up after 12 hours of operation. I did not wake up at the expected time. Then my lungs started to collapse. The doctors needed to put me in artificial coma. I was in coma for almost a month. My husband said, the doctors were giving up, the machine was the only thing that keeps me alive. They said, if I wake up, I am totally paralyzed and with complete memory loss. They scanned my brain and they are not happy with what they saw. They were asking for my husband's decision, my husband said to give me another week. I can remember waking up in June with no voice and very thirsty. I was on ventilator. I cannot move my body, not even my fingers. But I can remember that I was scheduled for operation, my only question upon waking up was, why does the calendar says "June 7". Then I saw my husband crying at my side, because I smiled at him. He said, my smile was a sign that I did not lose my memory. Doctors and nurses said I was a miracle. And I believe them.
- August 2017 I was released from the RWTH Aachen but I have to spend months in a rehabilitation clinic. Because I was in artificial coma for quite a while, I could not walk without a walker. I also fell in the hospital twice, despite walker, my knees just stop to cooperate suddenly. I stayed in rehabilitation clinic until November 2017.
- December 2018 we flew for vacation in the Philippines and I spent 3 months with my family again. After what happened to me in 2017, we thought it was good to see my family again, who I thought I would never see again.
- Also in December 2018 I started to work fulltime again, but from home. First client, I stayed for only about 4 months, the stress was too much.
- November 2019 I found another fulltime job but I had to quit early this year again, because I was again hospitalized in December (I had to spend my birthday and Christmas in the hospital!) due to sepsis and after that, I felt not really back 100%, hence I resigned in February 2020.
- March onwards, we all have same battle to face: CoViD-19. I stay at home most of the time because I am very prone to get it. After all that happened in 2017, my immune system is very weak.
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