Showing posts with label lost friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost friendship. Show all posts

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Ikaw Na Naman

 Di ko alam kung ilang beses na kitang naging topic dito mula ng simulan ko 'tong blog na toh in year 2005. Yung iba nabura na dahil sa katangahan ko noon na nag-feeling marunong ako magbasa ng Kanji sa opisina, eh di yun, delete content ang napindot ko. So eto na nga, ikaw na uli topic ko, kasi naman bakit ba bigla ka na lang dumadalaw sa panaginip ko.

Mula ng umalis ako sa GC ng batch natin, wala na akong balita sa 'yo. First time this year na binati kita nung birthday mo na hindi mo ko sinagot, mukhang kahit binasa ata di mo ginawa kasi walang react. Anyway, naiintindihan ko naman dahil sa mga post mo, mukhang busy na busy ka sa mga business mo. Pero di ko talaga gets bakit bigla kang nagppop sa panaginip ko at the most unexpected time. Tipong parang "hoy! ang tagal mo na akong di iniisip ah". Oo, aaminin ko, totally nakalimutan na kita. Unsubscribe na ko sa FB mo, yung asawa mo na lang. Nillike ko bawat milestone ng anak nyo. Yung anak mo, kuhang kuha ugali mo nung grade school tayo.

Anyway, gusto ko lang sabihin, nakalimutan man kita to the point na di na ko nagrereact sa mga post mo, di ko naman nakakalimutan kung sino ka sa buhay ko. Kung anong mga pagbabago ang nadala mo sa akin. At yes, hanggang ngayon nagsisisi ako na I built a wall between us. Sobrang taas na ang hirap tibagin. Pilit kong tinitibag ngayon, pero sa sobrang taas nya, parang too late na. Ang layo mo na. 

Kung merong the one who got away sa romantic level, ikaw ang the one who got away ko sa friendship level.

Inaamin ko, sobrang nanghihinayang ako sa pagkawala ng pagkakaibigan na meron tayo noon. Yung mga best friend mo ngayon, mga kaibigan mo sila mula sa taon na nagkakilala at naging magkaibigan tayo. Kung di ako nagtayo ng malaking pader sa pagitan natin, I'm sure isa ako sa closest friends mo magpahanggang ngayon.

Sorry, P... Ang taas ng ego ko nung kabataan natin, nasira ang pagkakaibigan natin...

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Forgive and Forget

A friend called to ask for apology for the past that did not go well for the two of us. It feels so good to finally find the freedom from anger and pain. Although I have already forgiven him long before he asked for it, it still feels good that he himself acknowledges what he had done in the past. Now that we are on totally different ways, I wish nothing but his own happiness. Despite all the pain and the tears he caused me in the past, he still deserve a life of bliss and love.

I've already forgotten all those painful memories, long before I forgave him in my heart. But I guess he is right, whatever it is in the past shall forever be inked in our hearts. Just like tattoos. Even if I try to erase those memories, they'd leave a scar that shall guide me in life.

He and I are part of a history, and that history has already been written and completed. I could no longer delete his character because that will change the course of events. He may have hurt me in the past, but if not for that, I would not be where I am now. If not for those tears and pain, I will not find my way to the arms of my husband. If not for all those fights and misunderstandings and lost friendship, I will not learn the value of friendship and forgiveness and love.

I thank him for admitting the wrongdoings and saying the most difficult words "I'm sorry." I wish him nothing but happiness he also deserves. I thank him for freeing me from anger and pain.

Despite all the pains he caused me, I still thank him wholeheartedly. It is because, of all the people who came into my life, he is one of those who marked the most. He taught me a lot of things. He built the way towards my happiness. He was, he is and he will always be a best friend to me.

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