moving on..temporarily unavailable...

and yeah, so my heart was right...i won't be  able to completely move on this time... he will still try to have me back and i will still take him back...yeah,all that was playing on my mind came true...

 

and yeah,moving forward ceaseed for me as of the moment...i still want to savor the moments with him...stolen moments that makes my life completely happy...

moving on...part 2

so it was a very difficult vacation for me...four consecutive days back home...i really had a terrible vacation...i have to pretend i'm fine,i have to leave the house all the time...but it's all worth it...finally, i'm somewhat used to this life,well, that's what moving on is for,geting used to the pain and the loneliness...probably the play helped as well,eventhough getting involved to that means seeing and getting attached again to my past that i had been running away from, the past that led me to this fate i am locked right now...if only i never fell to that past,i would have not ran away and fell to this mess i'm trying to get out of right now...sigh, my life had been a series of complicated events, one event to another...when will all this end?going back,so this is finally mys econd step, no phone call from him, no text messages,nothing...and i did very great not to call him myself nor text him,whew!that was so difficult,boring myself with songs,and sleeping the whole day just to refrain from texting nor calling him...and thank God, it's working days again,i'm busy again...

 

here i am now,ready to take the third step towards moving on...

moving on... first part

and then you said, you want the space...you want to be alone and balance everything...you said you can no longer love me the same way i do for you... so i let you walk away..i let you be who you are just to see you happy again...

and then after a week, you came back..wearing the same old smile, saying hi as if nothing ever happened that brought tears to my eyes a week ago...but i have to pretend i'm fine...i have to show you life goes on...that i can be okay even without you by my side...

you said it's so good to hear i can go on...you said you're glad i'm taking the steps of moving on...towards a life of "you" and "me" and no longer the "us" that i had been used to for a year and ten months...yeah, it's good to hear...too good that you can longer hear the deafening sound of my breaking heart...then, you walked away,without a word...i shouted asking if i can still count on you, if i can still run to you when fate would never be good for me alone...and i think you answered "yes, i will be here for you.." but it was so vague to understand the words you said coz you're million steps away from me now...

moving on...the first part of my moving on...i dunno if i can still take the next step when i know anytime, you can come back to the place where you left me...first step...first attempt...first part...i hope next time i can already say i'm done with my second step, and then third and so on...