Wednesday, April 9, 2008

"love your job"

I had a few words with my professor few days ago...She asked me how I'm doing and where on earth am I right now. I told her I am currently working as an engineer in a manufacturing company where REAL engineers dominates me. I told her the truth that I am really having a hard time here, trying to fit in and doing my best to excel, but it seems like my heart does not belong here, it seems like I am not destined to be here... <Or was I actually destined to be here that's why I cannot find a replacement job? Sigh! I wish I am not destined here!>

Going back, she asked me what made me think this way. Why I am like this when in fact, when I was in college, I was the one who was consistently doing good and focused, how come that when I was already working, things suddenly became so dark for me. I could not answer her, for I myself asks those things to myself. What happened to me? What happened to the "CY" they once knew, the one who loved Chemistry so much was determined to be one of the country's most respectable Chemist.

Yes, those were my dreams years ago, when I was still in college. I was overwhelmed by the thoughts of working in a pharmaceuticals company, or any consumer company, and be able to generate my own product line, or at least say, that this new soap that Company Z is currently marketing via ads at TV, radio, newspaper and tarpaulins, is no other than a product of my own perseverance, somethign worth remembering, that once in my life, I had created a product that turned every Filipino eyeing for that, wanting to use that.

But where am I right now? I am always landing at the wrong job... Paper industry, polymer industry, salt industry, and now, a semiconductors company... Those companies that I want to be part of does not want to hire me. Some turned me down due to my health, others simply does not want to hire me because, there are better chemists ahead of me.

I told her, I am starting to feel so frustrated about my career, that I want to make a total 360 degree turn and start anew. I know, my words struck her and made her frustrated herself, for she was just only able to say: "uy, wag ka ma-frustrate. Try to love your job so you won't feel tired and bored." But the question is, how can I love this job when my heart is not here? How can I put my heart into it so I won't feel frustrated, tired or bored?

Maybe you got the answer.. Maybe you can help me out... How can I learn to love a job that I hate as of this time? What should I do to make myself love this job and make me stay here for good?

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