Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Ausländers Problem: Finding New Friends

Officially, I am 9 months and five days here in Germany. I admit, I still do not have someone who I can call my "new friend." I still hang out most of the time with my husband. I tried to follow a fellow Expat Blog forumer's advice in order to get going here: to register on various international forums and sites and meet up with people there. I did, I am a member of Expat Blog, InterNations, Philippinen Portal Forum, and Pinay in Deutschland group page on Facebook. I receive lots of meet up invites, especially thru InterNations, but I have not yet gone into one. My husband is totally supportive about this, but it is I who have a problem.

You may wonder whether I have friends back in my homeland. Of course I do, but those people I consider as friends would only sum up to 50 maximum. Contrary to what they say, that Filipinos are friendly people, I admit I am not. These friends of mine, I became friends with them because they never stopped winning me as their friend. They are the ones who first approached me, talked with me, asked me questions. Even if my answers would only consist of about 2 to 5 words, they never stopped until the time we are already comfortable with each other and they already tell me to shut up because I talk too much. That is how I get friends, I just sit at one corner and let time pass me by, allowing people to talk with me. Only the persistent and patient ones became my friends, others are just acquaintances.

I am sitted in a new corner in my new country. I am patiently waiting for new people who would pass by to talk with me. However, they are not Filipinos, they are not as patient and friendly as the people back in my homeland, that's one reason why my husband insists that I stand and walk into the crowd and introduce myself. But I know I cannot do that, else I will faint. I do not have such gift, I am not Miss Congeniality.

I guess I have to endure longer until I find a job. It is because I get to meet new friends when I am at work or at school, but I never get to win friends just around my community, it is because they have totally different interests and they get easily bored on me.

Maybe other foreigners do not experience this same problem I am in right now. But honestly, this is killing me. I do not know what can I do with myself to find new friends. I want to have new friends, but I do not know how to start good conversations and how to trust them. It is just that I had been through a lot and I got traumatized on trusting people because they always end up abusing my kindness and generosity.

I am thankful though that my husband is helping me through all these.

No comments: