Monday, January 30, 2012

Starting Anew Is Not That Easy

I thought I was ready when I decided to apply for visa to be with my husband, but I thought wrong. Three months living here seems to be soooo long for me. I miss a lot of things am used to doing way back in the Philippines, and one of which is... WORKING.

I have been unemployed for 9 months now, longest I have no job since I finished my university degree. Though I worked for a freelance writing job for three months from my nine months and one month used for wedding preparation and wedding itself. So basically, it's really 5 months doing totally nothing.

I miss working, that's for real. Sometimes, I am thinking about going back to the Philippines and get back to my old life. But I know I shouldn't. My husband don't mind it at all, he said whatever I want, he'll support me all the way. But I won't do that. We had fought two straight years away from each other, and now that we are married, it is just not right to turn my back just because my life is not turning out the way I want it to be here in Germany. I definitely won't do that. I will stay here and take one step at a time. I know it will take longer time before I can establish myself here, my life and my career.

Starting anew as a foreigner is so tiring at times. But I just have to look forward and think positively. With my husband with me, I know this journey and hardship would all be worth it.

*Sorry, am just so emotional these past few days... Then I saw this advertisement about a training opportunity at Heraeus, and it made me feel more eager to get a job. But first, I need to go back to my Sprachkurs and pass the exams.*


HummingLoon said...

Hang in there. We all struggle, especially in that first year. The language, the job, the different cultural interactions...there's a lot to adjust to. Make sure that you are meeting with other foreigners to help you socialize and network (e.g. Meetup, Couchsurfing or Internations), and so that you have a life outside of your relationship. It's not everything, but it helps.

Dee said...

My heart truly goes out to you and I can understand why you're so homesick. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I've never been too far away from home, so I'm not even sure how I would handle being in your situation. Do you stay in touch with your family and friends back home? Perhaps you and your husband can plan to visit the Phillippines this summer, or for an upcoming holiday. When you do find work, even if it's part time, maybe it will release some of the stress your feeling. Whatever you decide, I hope everything works out for you.

kleine anne said...

Thanks! That is one of my concerns too coz I still don't have that someone here that I can call my friend. I just started in my language course last week, I am looking forward to win at least one friend in the class, with whom I can go out with once in a while. I might try Internation or Meetup to find some new friends.:-)

kleine anne said...

Thanks Dee! I do have constant communication with my family and friends (even with my dog) back in the Philippines. But physically being with them is something else. We are planning a Christmas vacation in the Philippines but December is still too far.:-(

I am also looking forward to finding a job here, whatever kind of job will really help me.:-)