Saturday, September 3, 2011

Happy September everyone!

It took me a little while before I get my fingers back on the keyboard. It seems like years since I wrote my ideas and shared it to the world. Honestly, when emptiness strikes me, I really feel empty and cannot put even a single sentence together perfectly. But now, I am back! Not the usual me with great thoughts though, I am just back, period.

The past few weeks had been stressful weeks for me. I always have to drag my ass off my couch and hit the road. First with my passport renewal (I needed to change my last name), then my visa application (sadly, I come from a Third World country who cannot travel the world that easy, I always need to apply for my visa), and then just two days ago, have to go and get my NBI clearance (NBI stands for National Bureau of Investigation, a localized FBI, I guess) and then head back to the embassy to submit that clearance. Visa application for a family reunion is not that easy, and really, it is very tedious! Hence, my mind's always pre-occupied with lots of stuffs, plus the fear of me not being granted the visa. The waiting for my visa is not yet done, I am still waiting for that precious call telling me that I can already get my ticket and fly to my loved one, but I decided to blog now to at least help me de-stress a little bit.

September is here. In the country where I am, September marks the beginning of CHRISTMAS. Yes, we hardly celebrate Halloween, hence, as early as September, Christmas decorations are already on sale, and everywhere, Christmas songs are being played. And because my mom thinks that I will not be here on Christmas (their hopes are high that my visa would be granted, whereas I know that the probability of me getting the visa before Christmas is of the same probability of me not getting the visa at all), she dragged me to update her iPod (yes, it is already hers, and sadly, I do not have any, not even my phone, I exchanged my Jet with her Cherry Mobile phone, don't ask me why) and put on Christmas songs there. So while the house across our street is trying to make us (us means the whole block during weekends!!!! Nobody can rest perfectly with all their noise!!!) deaf with their 4-week-long "Time of My Life" song, she put on the iPod on the dock and played her Christmas songs as loud as she can just so she can dissolve the sound from the house across our street. She said we better play the Christmas songs now while I am still here, than she playing it on November or December with only her and Cuhcuh, my dog, in the house.

That line made me sad. Honestly, this is going to be my first Christmas away from my mom, for the 27 years of my life, we had always been together on Christmas and New Year, whether we have a fight or not, and on my 28th Christmas (and birthday), we would be apart. It is a sad realization, but I guess, we all need to learn how to let go, because I cannot be forever her daughter, the time has come wherein I am needed more by my husband and my service is already for my husband, and for my own family. I hope we can get through this smoothly. Firsts are always the hardest, but I know in years to come, this would not be that difficult for us.

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