Saturday, June 4, 2011

It Is Time You Start To Believe In Them

Since I was a small kid, I am always the person who my family turn to for help. In return, they always reward me with something I like, one time it was a watch, sometimes it was a simple book, or a doll or a kitchen play set, and one time, the costliest of all, an organ. That is the reason why I made sure I am at my best at all things, expecially with my studies. The more I get my grades high, the better the rewards were. But I failed to see and feel how my cousins think about it. I used to always have the "me, myself and I" thinking. I never realized that my cousins, their real kids, were hurt.

Call me selfish, I am aware of that. That is the reason why I am trying my best to change things these days. In fact, I had started this when I was in college. I know that each of my cousins have their own talents and intelligence, hence I try to divert their attention to them, let them know that it is not only I who can do things for the family. However, they would not believe me on that part. Honestly, I would always decline even things about leading the rosary, because I know there is someone in my family who can do it better than I, someone who had been in love with serving the Lord the best way he can. They never realized how much it means for him, that it would require them to let me do the talking too. Maybe that was the time when they realized that someone in the family is craving for the attention as well, and that someone in the family can also do the things they thought only I can do. Even if the process was a bit painful, I am happy that they learned how to trust him regarding the religious matters, I can now sit silently at the back and enjoy quiet moments with the Lord.

Technically, they would also always think that it is only I who knows the things. "Computer problems, leave it to her, she had been using the computer since DOS times," that is how they think about it. How many times did I try to explain to them that not because I had started using the computer with Lotus 1-2-3 or Wordstar already means that I am the expert on this thing. Fine, I might me the oldest, but it does not mean that these younger guys, these cousins of mine, can also do the tweaking and could even be better than I (saying better is still a humble description, they are in fact the best! I do not know how to read those C++ thing-y!). That is why, just the other day, they all went here at the house to ask me technical things or two again. I guess I did a better way of explaining it, and thanks for my cousin for tagging along, I started explaining simple things and looked at my cousin for other terms. He did answer me! They all realized that they do not need to drive that far to ask stuffs like that, he can help them out. I simply told them one thing why he is an expert, "of course, he knows it,he's an engineer in the making!" Today, my uncle came back here, not to ask me some more technical stuff again,but he came to check on their house, if the construction is on going. I guess my cousins would love me again for giving back what is really due for them.

I am bad at speaking towards my relatives, especially those who are older than I (generations older, actually), but then I guess it is about time for them to learn to trust the talents and intelligence of my cousins. In few months I might be out of the country already to be with my husband, I want them to have a life that is independent from me. I want them to have a normal life even if I am miles away from them. There are my cousins, they are experts of their own fields, two of them already started working as well, I wish they would start to believe in them with all their hearts and trust that they too, know all stuffs.

It is overwhelming to know that they trust me and believe in me despite all the crazy things I did in the past. I like the feeling, but I do not want to take away the credits and the everything from my cousins, who I know had always been loyal to their craft and are experts on their own fields. I do not want them to feel bad against me for taking away the applauses that should also be directed to them.

We are all good at everything that we do, I am thankful for trusting and believing in me, this time let my cousins feel the same way I am feeling.It is time for you to start believing in them.

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