Monday, March 29, 2010

Welcome to Circus Town!

Have you been to the Philippines, or at least had lived most of your life in this country? Have you experienced this event that I call "Circus"?

I am talking not about the circus show that are normally seen on Fiesta, wherein they showcase rare, and out of this world talents. This circus show has more than those flying trapeze, or  man-eating fire. To give you the clearer picture, let me describe you this circus with some photos I got over the internet:

need i say more? it's colorful!

despite all the notices that the COMELEC gives, that major streets must be cleared from all these paraphernalia, but what do we see everyday? Another sad thing that I noticed were those banners hanging around our barangay hall, bearing some names of politicians. My cousin did mentioned to me also, a very big banner along E.Rodriguez Avenue (yup, it's an AVENUE where it is prohibited) bearing the FACE AND NAME OF THE RICHEST PRESIDENT-WANNABE (you just do the guessing, i would not give a clue, not even if you'd ask me to bathe in a sea of trash).

 (this photo is not current, but from years ago)

Awaken by various cars and trucks and jeepneys playing catchy jingles every now and then. It's no different from a promo car announcing that the circus is coming and will be performing live shows. The only difference is, that these jingles, along the streets and by the TV are painful to my ears (note, I pertained to my ears, this is my personal opinion) and are just empty music. No meaning, no important message, EMPTY. When a music is empty of meaning, it is not a music, but rather NOISE.

and after hours of motorcade aboard a car with hundreds of convoyed supporters, they will go to the slums, shake hands and hug people by the streets, making sure there are eyes to see of course, and camera if possible and after all the hand shakes and hugs and picture taking, they will immediately go back to their cars, close thee door, and utilize bottles of alcohol with squinting eyes. That's what I call...


Funny, these politicians promises a lot of things, including a better environment, but look at how they pollute the country. Look at how messy they make the country look, how can they attract tourism with all these dirt? How they contribute to air and sound pollution. Do they live up to their words? I don't think so. They always make themselves visible on public places, and utter inhumane things against the other candidate, but when the RIGHT PLACE calls for them to have a FACE-OFF (NOTE: HARAPAN 2010), they all turn their backs and give their own alibis. How can the countrymen believe you when you are so afraid to face your opponent and answer impromptu questions from the people?

I love circus. I love the vivid colors and the uniqueness of personality of the people performing for the circus. It alleviates sadness and gives happiness and child-like feeling. But I hate how politics try to be a circus, just to attract people.

I hope these wanna-be's will understand, that politics is not just about attracting voters. POLITICS IS ABOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR THE COUNTRY MEN. You do not need to be from the poor nor be the richest, nor be a son or daughter of a politician or a hero. YOU MUST HAVE A HEART INTENDED FOR THE PEOPLE. YOU MUST HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE LAW AND DEMOCRACY.

As a politician in Philippines, YOU ARE ONLY A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WHOLE NATION, so do not think that this campaign must always be about you. It must be ABOUT US, FILIPINOS.

Di kelangan na nakaligo ka sa dagat ng basura, o anak ng mabuting lider. Kelangan ng bansa ng taong marunong mamuno sa malinis na paraan, at tuturuan ang bawat Pinoy kung paano iaangat ang kanyang sarili sa kabila ng kahirapan. Hindi kailangan ng Pinoy ng himala o biglaang yaman para lang makaahon sa kahirapan o gutom. Sabi nga ni Jesus Christ, bigyan mo ng isda ang taong nagugutom at sya ay mananatiling gutom, ngunit turuan mo syang mangisda, at  di sya magugutom kaylanman.

Teach men how to fish, teach Filipinos how to alleviate themselves, then, you give the country a big favor. When a Filipino knows how to work for their living, JUAN TAMAD will be just part of the history, then more investors will come. Big investors then will believe, Juan Tamad is dead, Filipinos are worth it to give them jobs. Then, one by one, we can pick up the pieces, and we shall rise again.

We did it before, ask your parents or grandparents who saw it through Marcos's time. He might be a dictator, but he did showed that Filipinos can be disciplined, and are hardworking. Marcos made it possible for the country to be one of the richest in Southeast Asia.

So, fellow Filipinos. It may be Circus time once again. But, I appeal to you, read between the lines. Learn  to read their faces. Look through their hearts. Study what they have done in the past. Use our brains, and not our hearts when voting. Di ka ba nagtataka na preserved talaga ni Villar ang bahay nila sa Tondo para sa eleksyon na toh? Di ba napaka-showbiz ng lahat? Lahat ay planado, pagkat ginagamit nya ang paniniwala na ang mga Pinoy ay maawain, at palaging lamang sa puso ng Pinoy ang mga inaapi.

Di natin kelangan ng mala-telenovela na buhay ng isang politiko. Di natin kelangang mabingi sa mga jingles nila. Di din naman talga natin kelangan gawing isang malaking CIRCUS TOWN ang Pilipinas. Lahat sila nanungkulan na bilang Mayor or Senador or Congressman or direktor ng iba't ibang sangay ng pamahalaan. Tingnan natin ang nagawa na nila, wag nating pakinggan ang pangako nila. PROMISES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN. We need someone who will fight for the Filipinos against oppression, not to fight against other leaders because of position.

Welcome to Circus Town! The Circus has just started. Enjoy the show while it lasts. The Circus will only be until June 30th of 2010. 

AND don't forget to VOTE for your FAVORITE CIRCUS PERFORMER 
on MAY 10, 2010


 -just thinking aloud-

Saturday, March 27, 2010

time for some reflection

last week, we were hit by a 6.1 earthquake, while we were on the 32nd floor of our building. it was indeed terrifying. i mean, i had been trained since grade school on what to do in case of fire, but in case of earthquake, that's the most frightening thing for my seat, you can hear the glass shaking and seems like it'll break anytime, the posters and the blinds were swaying really endless, my office chair DID moved. my heart's skipping a beat, i knew that time i am going to have nervous breakdown at any minute. but i have to look calm, for i am part of the ERT, and number one on the list to do is DO NOT PANIC (but at the back of my mind, i want to run through that exit and evacuate). i can't remember what i kept on saying, i could not even remember if i did called on Him.

just few days ago, when it happened, and tomorrow's going to be Palm Sunday. the time when Jesus was welcomed warmly in Jericho, but executed afterwards. the day that marks the start of Holy Week. the day when we are all asked to repent and reflect. it is not a week to fly to great sands of Boracay or Palawan, or sail to Puerto Galera. it is more of a day to speak with the Lord, thank Him for our lives, for the food we eat, for the work we manage to have. ask for His forgiveness and repent with all our hearts. that is the true meaning of Holy Week, it is not mandated just to give us time to hit the beach, it never was. and it seems sad that young people of today seems to have forgotten that one.

i don't know how it looks like for others, but i believe, what happened to us last week was a wake up call. we all seems to forget God due to our busy lives, and unimportant things. i admit, i am guilty as well. i guess, it's time to turn back to God and reflect. He is just there, waiting and ready to hug us anytime.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

it's paying off

And I hope that time will run faster my health is starting to deteriorate L

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Thanks but no thanks

This afternoon, I had a meeting with my senior engineer. I thought I was going to be reprimanded for not following the dress code for a week last week. To my surprise, it was not. It was about what my supervisor told me yesterday, of being a QMS Controller.

If I am in a manufacturing company, I might say yes right away, being a QMS is something. It adds to the beauty of a resume of an engineer / chemist/ physicist. However, this case was a little different. Knowing my team mates for quite a while now, I had to think twice about this thing. Actually, it was offered to me since day 1, but I always end up changing the topic. This time around, I was cornered, via an ambush meeting. The way my senior broke to me the news was quite funny, it's like leaving me without any choice. He laid in front of me all the tasks of a QMS controller, and the management who will be the contact outside of the team, and that the training would be on Monday. Then, he said, but all of these will only be if I will agree. I told him that there are I guess other documentation peeps who had been with the team for more than 2 years, but he cut me off that our manager thinks they are not meticulous enough and would be very critical comes the audit. And yes, the meeting ended up with me accepting the post.

Now, my mind's filled. A lot of things are playing in my mind. This is not something else that I can just turn my back anytime. Plus I will be working with Steve, that ex-pat that annoys me each day. I was left with no choice. I just hope that I can do this ALONE. Yes, I am alone in our team, and will be working with 4 managers and Ren, our admin assistant and my friend. Because of this new task, I was pressured to finish the 20 powerpoint presentations before the week ends. Once the training starts, I doubt that I will be having clear minds, and bet red marks on my to-do list would start to pile up again.

I wish I am back in the manufacturing. :'(

Sunday, March 14, 2010


i had always wanted to see Alice on 3D, but it's kinda sad naman if i'm alone... so i tagged my mom along, coz if i am to spend another 400 bucks, isn't it best to spend it and make mom experience IMAX as well? so there, i treated mom to a movie date.

i know Alice has been on for a week now, but i am never a fan of first day screenings, or their first week. i always wait for the second or third day of showing it, at least it isn't that crowded.

mom and i were too early, i had reserved for the 4pm screening, so we waited na lang by the IMAX lobby (at North Edsa). and yeah, i'm wearing my "JA!" shirt... my one and only red shirt... hehehe...

IMAX at north edsa is not bad, though i think IMAX MOA is wider... well, it's because of the space i guess... but it's okay, staffs are accomodating, and it's well maintained, except for one incident wherein i think 5 people were telling we were seated at the wrong seat (no only i plus the 4 individuals beside me, mom is safe with her seat), which is kinda weird, because yesterday, when i reserved the seats, these 4 people beside me were booked ahead, because if their not, i'd choose their seats (they got the best seats! middle talaga, but ours is not bad at all, mom enjoyed it). so there, the staff fixed the problem, i dunno where they were sent to sit, i care no more, hahaha!

okay, wrong place, the poster of johnny depp beehind us was not taken. and no time to re-take it. isipin mo na lang kita mo si johnny depp sa likod. :-)

i like the glasses at North Edsa though, that's mom, hehehe... i cannot turn on my flash, arrgh! why is it that everytime i am watching 3D, my flash would start to act crazy, this is the third time...

overall, i like the film, not totally classic story of Alice, and i love it. i just find Anne's make up made her look old. and mom loves it too, most specially the IMAX experience... and yes, she's asking me to treat her for more IMAX films... it's starting to get more expensive each time, huh?

anyway, it's all worth it, mom's smile after the film is priceless... :-)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

don't ever let me go... eine Nachricht fuer U...

when you truly love someone, just a thought of him out of your life shatters every bits and pieces of you, your body... your soul...

i miss you U... so much...

can't you fly right by my side that fast? as in right now, right here...

thoughts and fears

  • in 9 days time, my countdown will be reduced to one year...
  • officially dumped that project (AWOL if that is a job requiring me to report everyday)
  • after doing so, i realized that this is not the kind of job for me... i do love writing, but i hate writing stuffs that i am not really interested at...
  • now am back to base one thinking of any way/ job to earn extra income...
  • am not sure if i am ready to take the Start Deutsch 1, though i had faired this morning in a sample exercise... we'll see on the mock exam next week
  • what would my life be at germany a year from now?
  • fear of unbelongingness when i get to germany
  • fear of not getting any job when i get there
  • fear of not meeting my mom's expectation about my life
  • fear of the unknown once i live in a strange land
  • fear that i will not meet U's expectations of me
are these still part of QLC? but am 26 now...

Thursday, March 11, 2010

jetzt, ich verstehe

after such a long time, i have always been pondering about what my life would have been, should i chose not to take chemistry, and pursue my interest in writing as a career. and then, just yesterday, i gave writing a try...

some may have thought that i already have writing as a career, for i am working as a technical writer, but no, i mean some other forms of writing. with my work kasi, i am free to choose the date of my deadline, but of course, there is still the metrics for my annual appraisal to think of, so i always give pressure to myself, and not my boss giving pressure on me. so i tried something that is close to real work of a writer. i had been a member of gaf for years now, and i just thought of browsing through their projects last night. and i was surprised to win a bid, and needless to say, as his ads says, start right away. and whoa! i was overwhelmed with my first assignment: 6 articles in a day! i think i overestimated my time and myself when i placed that bid. 0_o

now, if you'll ask me, will i continue this crazy thing? i think for now, it's a no, for i got a lot of documents to think of for my real job in the first place, maybe i'll do this again when i got a lot of time for myself in the future, say, when i am in germany and no job yet?

now, how will i be able to say this to my employer? that i'm quitting? or should i finish till i get the total of 50 articles finished? but 6 articles a day is just too much, even if its just 400-words long per article, having it of varying, and TECHNICAL topics, it just isn't fair, i think.

but am glad, i can add now the title "freelance writer" on my name... i only need to get used to those deadlines i think...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Q1 Audit

things accomplished so far:

1. worked on my motivation a little (yey! finally was able to make myself productive, starting last Monday)...
2. i am soon finish with my A1.3 in German, only 5 meetings left, and then SD1 exam.
3. am already on the third book of Philip Pullman, glad I am able to minimize now the number of books waiting to be read here at home, just a little more time, i can purchase anew.
4. never had any paranoia attack... wohoo! no fights in last weeks/ months.

things i must accomplish for the remaining days of the year:
1. lunch/ dinner with friends.
2. muster the game of excitement without expecting.
3. spare some more.
4. read more.
5. pass my SD1 with flying colors.
6. attend A2.1
7. write more
8. finish my "novel".
9. fly to germany and vienna on November (i want!!! badly!)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

the lazy girl striked again

yup, i did! i was pre-reg to the event at fully booked, and where was i by 4pm? by SM north edsa, waiting in line to have my phone upgraded, but deymn! the firmware is not available... so i'm stucked with my old phone, old firmware, and same sickness... PLUS! boycott for the 3rd time ang travel writing workshop... next time, i'd never pre-enroll na nga... i was able to write travel thingies naman, kahit panu...

next news, upcoming START DEUTSCH 1... well, reena is asking me to take it with her on the 15th of April... yesterday, i was kinda thinking twice, but today, after the class (yes, we finally finished the 14 chapters for level 1!), and started with some reviews, i had a little confidence to register and take the exams by the 15th, though, the self esteem is so low... then, had a little conversation with our librarian, and he said, if i passed the exam sample in the website, i would definitely get through it... plus, he said, we at Saturday class are most likely to pass, based on Donn's stories, that we are the brightest batch, and that we had longer time to learn... now, i still don't know if i will, hahaha! but i want na sana so i can focus on other stuff, like driving lessons, ABER! ich mag A2.1 auch lernen... hmmmm, so viele Wuenschen!  i need to decide ASAP for the exam have a deadline for registration... scary! pero in fairness, even if i was absent last week, Frau Buenavides thought i never had absences, i can answer all her questions correctly today... vielen Dank mein Schatz, chatten mit dir hilft mir so sehr! (sorry if the grammar is still wrong, note i am only at GI A1.3)...

so there, lazy i maybe, and was unsuccessful with my phone (sooooooooooooooo sad!!!!!!!!!!!!), but at least i am excelling in one thing, and i can't wait to be living in germany!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

friday the 130th

hooray to my 130th post!

which is not the truth, for if someone do remembers, i had said few months ago that i am bidding blogger goodbye, and during that time of depression, i deleted a lot of post, as in a lot... well, one big reason why i thought of deleting this was because of my URL, which is, of course, impossible for me to change now... but now, i've mastered the art of acceptance, and let the URL be just a plain URL, walang arte-arte, wala ng emote...

lately,  i've noticed that i've frequented more here, than my facebook and twitter... which is, a good news for me! i am able to write longer articles again (i am active at triond again)... but, despite the interest going back into me, i'm still having a hard time completing my novel, my first ever attempt to write a novel, but there, i'm stuck! princess ody. that's the novel i mentioned before when i am having night mares of the past, such a long overdue novel noh?>  one friend at my lot had motivated me to unearth that draft and complete it, but still, creative writing is always the last on my priority, i have tons of technical reports to finish (still got a dozen to complete, 10 of which are technical presentations). thanks to this site, i am able to unwind at the end of the day. gone are the days that facebook or twitter can help me unwind. i am getting tired of all the usual things in facebook, and one-liner thoughts just seem to be not enough for me. oh well, there are a few apps though in facebook that keeps me on logging for 3 minutes a day, because of petville, i feel guilty if i will forget about my dog (that meows, weird!) and she'll end up in the pound... plus the farmville, where mom is still addicted to right now, i have to log to send her gifts, oh well, i bet soon she'll get tired of it as well, i just hope soon is now.

my tita-lola  thel (weird relation, don't ask how) and my lolo ben will be flying back to texas tomorrow morning. and well, we had only a total of 30-minute talk for their 2-weeks-long vacation. maybe that's also one of the primary reason why she kept on urging my mom to send me out of the country. she thinks my work schedule is crazy, oh well, she's somewhat right, and i haven't mentioned yet about the salary i earn, maybe if i did mention that, she'll push me to get a visa and fly with them. another big possibility of all these things i've heard from mama that she says, is that because they had a lot of misadventures during the two weeks, and soon felt so hopeless for the country (blame it on the repetitive jingles of those president-wannabe's plus all the mess around the metro, and rotating brown-outs). oh well, don't worry tita-lola, i only have barely 1 year to stay here... as mentioned by mom, i'll be following your footsteps, i'll see you soon again.

that's all for now, need to sleep now, gotta work again tomorrow, and language school on saturday (well, i still don't have the courage to face my teacher, after not calling in last saturday, LOL!). and oh, i gotta attend the CEAL travel writing workshop after school. whatta hectic weekend i have... i also need to send jet to his doctor, a new firmware can make him more gorgeous, i believe. ;-)

hope you'd stick around with me till my millionth blog... ;-)

Gute Nacht! Auf Wiedersehen! 

edit: okay, i know now how to change the URL, thanks to princess dipti for giving me a heads up... but i decided not to change na lang... got a lot of editing to do, from my social networks where this is linked, to my widgets, and yes, i am lazy to do that... wag na lang... name lang yan, i can get by with it... 

Summer Time

i am not sure if my procrastination is brought about the season... it's so hot here in the philippines that all i want to do is plunge in the waters... all the feeling of laziness is on me this week...

i though cleaning up my work place would help me start my day right, but well, it was only good for 1 hour, now i am back to the "me" these past few weeks... i can't help not to check on the rates and packages going to puerto galera... i am now tempted to go with my girlfriend to puerto, even if it's just the two of us...

i wish my boyfriend would fly fast, so i can take that looooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg vacation i have been saving on up...

gotta get back working... 0_o

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

fail!!!! 0_o

Panda FAIL
Comments from

these past few days, i did a lot of failure... from technical answers that seems to be unclear and out of this world, to my translations that are now sounding weird... i dunno why, but it's like i'm not being myself... something is definitely wrong, and i am hating it...

oh well, i think, it's better to just sleep now and start anew tomorrow...

I'm Good In Bed
Grab a Graphic from

ay, no! just wake me up when it's MARCH 22, 2011... for sure by that time, it's a totally new life... another milestone... another land... another life... ^_^

Monday, March 1, 2010

at nangarap naman ako

hiniling ko na makita ang larawan na natatago... bagaman mas uso na ang facebook, pareho tayong may pangalawang friendster na nananatili... ngunit, di mo ako pinagbigyan... ang daming tanong, para bang nasa presinto ako at tinatanong ng paulit-ulit, tipong may gusto kang mapiga mula sa kin... anu bang gusto mo marinig? "gusto ko makita kasi nagseselos ako", ganun ba? eh bakit ko naman sasabihin yan, eh alam mo naman na masaya na ko sa buhay ko ngayon. kung sana noong mga panahon na magulo ka, at aalis ako papuntang alemanya, kung sana nagsabi ka ng totoo, baka naiba pa ang takbo ng kwento ko, at ng kwento mo... pero magulo ka eh, di ko maintindihan... at may ibang tao na ang nakapag-ayos ng buhay ko na inaasahan ko noon na ikaw ang aayos...

ngayon, asa malayo ka na din...ikaw naman ngayon ang lumayo... pero kahit ang layo mo, ang dami mo pa ding sinasabi na wala pa ding direksyon... hanggang kelan mo ba itatago ang lahat? hanggang kelan mo gagawing malaking palaisipan ang lahat ng nakaraan sa ating dalawa? hanggang kelan mo itatago mula sa akin ang mga sagot sa katanungan kong nalibing na sa loob ng anim na taon...
minahal kita, isa akong sinungaling kung itatatwa ko ang katotohanan na yan... kaya wag mong sasabihin na manhid ako, minahal kita, pero napagod ako sa kakahintay... napagod ako makiramdam na lang sa kung ano ba talaga ako para sa iyo... napagod ako sa mga inaarte mo... napagod ako, na umabot sa puntong, naghanap na ako ng bagong mamahalin... pero alam mo, na sa tuwing tinititigan mo ako, naaalala at naaalala ko ang mga panahon na mahal pa kita, at di maalis sa akin ang mangarap ng: "ano kaya kami ngayon kung di ako napagod?"

kaya, awa mo na, pakita mo na ang mga litrato na tinatago mo dyan sa baul mo sa friendster... at nang matapos na ang pangangarap ko... tama na ang pagbibigay ng "clue" dahil sarili ko lang lagi ang iniisip ko na tinutukoy mo... oo na, makapal na ang mukha ko para isipin na ako yun, pero naman! ang mga linya ng kanta na pinipili mo, at ang huling mga katagang sinagot mo, di naman malayong ako ang tinutukoy mo, ngunit, wala naman tayong litratong dalawa di ba? mapwera na lang mula yun sa kasal ng kapatid mo, at sa teatro...

naaalala kita pagminnsan... pero tapos na yun, nakaraan na lang kita... sa alaala na lang ang lahat... dahil tapos na ang pagiging martir ko... panahon na ngayon para mahalin ko din ang sarili ko...

New Discovery

i was playing around as usual, while procrastinating over these tons of work i have to finish, when i passed by this post and directed me to this newly interesting site, and of course, signed myself up!

myLot User Profile

that's my profile page, and i hope i can gain more clicks from there... ;-)