Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Another Beginning

This is my nth blog ever... Created this to be some sort of my online dear diary... Only me and me alone can read this... Anyway, to start with...

Currently, I am killing my time for doing one thing for three days now: GENERATE A NEW SCHEDULE FOR THE CHEMICAL GROUP OPERATORS. This is sooooo difficult for all of them comes from 14 groups, and our new manager wants them on two groups, whoa! How can I make it that way? I am no good with planning or anything... How I wish it's Wednesday so that I can already complete my medical and forward my resignation on this damn company... Am no longer happy here... I want to be away from here... Away forever, and no coming back... I want to visit Germany with my new co-employees and friends... I'm so excited I wanna do it all as soon as possible...

By the way, me and Ariel are dating again... How I wish this will go on smoothly this time... However, I am confused... There's no more magic this time... Being with him is just like any ordinary day, unlike when I am with Mickey... But Mickey and I are no longer an icon, 'coz he chose to settle down with his nightmare... So I guess, it's going to be me all alone till the end...

So far, that's the latest with my life and I am not good with that... Except of course for my appontment on Wednesday...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Bye, Tito Danny... I Will Never Ever Forget You...


May 14th of 2008...

One memorable date for me, as this reminds me of that someone, 3 years ago...

And now, this date will be memorable for the rest of my life...

6:30am: I was asleep at the office when I felt someone tapped my lap. I woke up and saw no one around me... So I went back to sleep till the bell rang... And went on with my work...

1:30pm: My cousin went online with the status message: Life is too short. I greeted her belated happy birthday since the 12th was her birthday and I was not able to greet her... She said thanks and told me the worst news this year.... Our beloved, Tito Danny passed away that morning...

I was not able to control my feelings, I cried at the office... I cried and cried and tried to call my mom. But she was not answering the phone. I don't want to believe the bad news, but in my heart, I know it was the truth...

4:00pm: Mom already texted me saying she doesn't want to tell me yet until my interview was done, but then, my couz already told me, and it's better to tell me the truth. My mom knew I won't be okay... I had double thinking about the interview, I wanna go home and see my beloved tito, but then Loi told me to attend my interview, my tito will guide me... Still, I was lucky that the client had important family matters as well, and the interview was called off, or else, I might have not been able to answer his questions.

11:30pm: Even if I am sleepy, I chose to go straight to the chapel first before going home, despite the fact that I have work the following day. I felt pity, it was so difficult for me to see his body lying lifeless, at an improvised bed, because no coffin fits him. I cried seeing him on that situation, and held his cold hand... But all we can do is wait for the coffin to be built for him, he's just too big to fit on ordinary coffins available...

1:30am: We went home and slept. When I closed my eyes, I saw him watching over me as I fell asleep. I cried and cried till I was deeply slumbered...

I was planning to forget May 14, since this was the start of a bitter feeling, yet, tito made this another memorable one... He taught me one thing on his leaving: Forgetting does not cure all the pain, it is accepting...

We will surely miss our Santa Claus... I will surely miss his teachings and his strict way of teaching us life... I will surely miss his laughs and his tap... It was him who tapped my lap when I was asleep, bidding me goodbye... I will surely miss the good old days... All those days when he became a father to me, when he filled in all the emptiness I feel, when he filled in all the things that my own father cannot fill in... I am not a direct niece, for my mom is just his wife's first cousin, and yet, he treated me like his own daughter already... Get mad when I am going astray, and takes pride of my successes... I could never forget how he told evveryone he knows that he got a niece who passed the PRC exam and now a CHEMIST... He took pride of me, and boosted my morale,and made me feel how great it is to be a CHEMIST...

Now, he's gone, with the One Above... I don't know what life is ahead for me and my mom... He's our sole family and protector... He made us feel that we are not alone... I know and I am feeling it now, how big the difference is without him in our life... Tito Danny will always be Tito Danny, no one could ever replace him... A father not only for Kuya Dondon, Ate Dona, Ate Jessica and Kuya Tomtom, but also a father to all his niece and nephew regardless of the degree, a father of Taysan National High School, a father of Brgy. Taysan, a father of all seminarians, and a father of the whole San Jose, Batangas... The town's Big Brother, our family's Santa Claus, every youth's Daddy, and every laborer's Lawyer.

I love you Tito Danny, I may have not thanked you enough when you were alive, but I know, you know how thankful I am I got you as an uncle, for without you, I don't know where I will be right now, and I don't know what could have been the circumstances of our family life if we do not have you around when you were still alive...

I will miss you most... I love you... I am praying for your eternal happiness... Please watch over me everyday,and tap me everytime I do the same mistakes... Don't leave us behind, and don't let any of us go astray...

Good bye, our DEAREST, the BIGGEST, the GREATEST UNCLE OF ALL...

See you at the cross roads, Tito Danny...

Friday, May 9, 2008

Decisions...Decisions...Decisions...

i've been like this since yesterday that i even forgot it was my grandfather's 10th death anniversary (sorry, mamay...)



first news that came to me was the reorganization that will take place SOON..and soon means next week...not next year, nor next month, but next week...part of the reorganization is the transfer of chemprep from slg to something independent...and i was offered to be included on that move...



second news, there is an urgent need for a new safety engineer, to replace ma'am auds who will be resigning soon...this position is one of my dream position...to be a safety engineer...



third news, a phone call, from a dream company...i was shortlisted by them and i am endorsed for client interview this thursday (may 15) supposedly, but then it was moved earlier, may 14, this time...

alright, so this blog is a week delayed since i started writing this...

the interview was cancelled again, and that will push through on monday...pray for me...

the transfer was not yet official, since there's no memo yet, however, i am currently reporting to 2 managers...

safety engineer position is no longer for me, my managers didn't agreed to give me to sir ed, that's the sad part of it... so i do hope that i can make it on my interview so that i can already leave this worst nightmare of my life...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I Lost My First Blog Ever

i was readign through my blogs here, and oh well, I did some stupidity last October, when all characters here were in Japanese still...

I DELETED MY BLOGS that was dated December of 2006 till September of 2007.

so it appears now that i started blogging here only last october, when in fact, i started this a month after i started my gmail account (which i'm not quite sure but i guess that was in November of 2006).

wala na ko proofs ng mga lamentations ko sa previous jobs ko and how i landed on that job, including my most frustrating experience working at salinas for a month, and a very memorable christmas eve of 2006, all those stories were gone, and i could no longer get hold of again... all were lost because of one reason:

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ NIHONGGO CHARACTERS... :(

Are You Drunk?!?

Last night, me and my team went on a small dinner celebration at Gilligan's Island at Festival Mall, Alabang. Had some drinking sessions, and most of them sang. I could not understand why they, most specially Jolly, kept on telling me I was drunk last night, when in fact I AM NOT! Throughout my drinking days, I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED BEING DRUNK yet, not ever.

I first had a bitter taste of beer when I was in third year high school. That was during Lipa Fiesta at my best friend's house. Kuya Sam brought us some bottles of Pale Pilsen, yup, Pale Pilsen, San Mig Light was not yet available in the market that time. I was able to finish one bottle only, not because I got drunk, but because I started to get red. I dunno, maybe I am allergic to malt, or something, (weird however, coz my daily morning beverage is composed of malt, Milo has malt right?). So there, but it did not hindered me from drinking. The next drinking I made was with my cousins, I think, GIN POMELO, but mixed for the ladies, and that was a few months after my first try (summer of '99 to be exact). Since then, drinking has always been part of every occasion I attend to. The worst drinking that I did was during Aimee's debut, November of 2002. Her step father owns this mini mart at our town, and they do have liquor section. After the program, we started to sit around and open some drinks, we did not planned to have an actual drinking, we just want to finish one bottle of Fundador, at least. So we started with Fundador, with NO CHASER! But after finishing Fundador, we were craving for more, so we opened anotehr Fundador, then Johnny Walker, then Gilbey's Gin, then Novellino, then a white wine which I forgot the brand, then champagne (yes, champagne went last), until we turned the bar down. My friends still wants some more, so we opened the mini mart, and went to the liquor section, and took whatever we find on the counter. We had 3 bottles more of red wine (varying brands), 2 bottles of Gilbey's, another Fundador, a vodka and a tequila. Most are already crawling due to drunkenness, and some were already asleep on the table after finishing the last bottles we got. While 5 of us were not yet affected by the alcohol we just take, we went to the rooftop and waited for the dawn. We wanna go home, but the gates are closed still, it'll open up by 7am. I am not sure, but I think I am slightly drunk that time, coz I told them, I want to climb the gates and get away. But of course, the gates won over me, I was not able to get home early. The earlier I wanna get home, the later I was able to do so, because after watching the beautiful sunrise, we went downstairs and cleaned the function hall. We were so tired that we went inside Aimee's bedroom, we all fell asleep. Before we knew it, Aimee's mom was waking us up for LUNCH, yup, FOR LUNCH, and it was actually late for lunch as well, coz it was already 1:30PM. Okay, maybe you'd say I was drunk and I just didn't felt it, I was not, we were just tired cleaning up the mess and all the puke the party goers left (it's really, ewww to clean those stuff!). Next drinking session that I hated was the following summer, Summer of 2003. It was my cousin's birthday and we just thought of renting the nearest pool, and party, without drinks, of course. But my dear best-friend former suitor came along with his brother and sister, carrying with him a box of Ginebra San Miguel and a pitcher. He went out and bought one pack of pomelo flavored powder juice, and mixed gin with the juice on the pitcher. I didn't know how he made it, but he told his sister not to join us, I thought what he only cares about was because she was too young by then to join sessions like that. The pitcher was already halved, and I felt I wanna pee, that was also the only time I noticed I was the only girl in the group, 4 of my cousins and him, I stood up and said I am going to the washroom, he called his sister and told her to accompany me, I said I can handle myself, but when I tried to take my first step, waahhh! I almost fell, and I hugged the post. That time, I knew, the mix was made for guys, he did not diluted it with drinking water, I hated him that time! But that session made me increase my alcohol content even farther, maybe that's why I never get drunk even if I finish all that my drinking pals cannot finish. In our native language, I am "taga-salo".

So going back to last night, 4 bottles of San Mig Light cannot bring me down, that I am certain of. I may have turned red after a few bottles, but that was normal, I am not yet drunk. Only Tequila without chaser can put me down. I am not a drunkard, but my alcohol content is high, I can handle no matter how many bottles there are, I am not from Vilela family if I can be easily put down by mere San Mig Light. As what my friend always tell the people who doesn't know I drink, "She doesn't drink, yeah, I agree, but the statement doesn't end there, she doesn't drink beverages WITHOUT FLAVOR..." Hmmm...I should have thrown the question back to Jolly last night:


Sunday, May 4, 2008

Non Sense Pics During Company Outing


Calbarzon.. On the way puntang Island Cove, di ako makatulog sa shuttle...

I don't have great pics ng outing. Pa'no, I hate the place, and I hate the event... Ang boring, I should have stayed at home na lang... nawalan pa ng bat ang cam ko, so wala talga.. I have pics sa cam ng ibang co-engineers ko kaso, wala eh, di ko makuha copies na meron ako, kasi I forgot na kung sino sino yung may cam na meron ako pic, hahaha! Kaya yan, napag-tripan ko na lang flip flops ko and glitter tattoo ko...

This Is Now Good Bye

I dunno if it's still proper to be sad... In fact, dapat masaya ko... totally, naka-move on na sya, and dapat, ako din... i checked on my other friendster account, and I saw na wala na sya sa friends list ko... Does it mean dinelete nya yun? I dunno, baka ang wife na overly jealous over me ang nag-delete... Whatever, okay lang dapat yun sa kin di ba? ewan ko ba bakit, parang, napataas ang kilay ko to know that and say, huh?!? what did I do para i-delete nya yun?

praning lang siguro talga wife nya over me, kasi mas maganda ko sa kanya, at her husband cannot totally get over me... Well, I guess, dapat mas kapraningan nya yung girl na ang daming comment sa profile ng asawa nya, di ako na napakatagal ng di nakikita ng husband nya, kahit pa ba pareho kaming andito sa Batangas... she doesn't know na may plans na husband nya na mag-work sa Manila, why? I dunno, I guess because of that girl, kasi once he texted me that he's somewhere at Manila, and guess where this young lady studies, sa PCU lang naman, nasa Manila area. Just a reason why he already stopped bugging me orr anything.

 

Whatever it is that he's so busy about right now, I don't care anymore. I'm gonna take it as a sign that he wants to move on already,and so should I.

 

Well, I guess, this is GOOD BYE... May he find his happiness now...

Goodbyes Are Not Forever

The past week has been a week of a lot of goodbyes. On the 1st of May, was the burial of Kuya Ed. It was heartwarming indeed to see the number of people who joined and sympathized as his family grieved his leaving. It was so sad, yet we know, he's more than happy now wherever he may be...

The morning of 1st as well, Shana's mom also passed away, but I am not sure what the reason of her death was... I was supposed to go to Bulacan and join her as she grieve, but then, a lot of things need to be done at the office, plus the interment on the 1st, while the kada went to Bulacan on the 1st. I will just offer a prayer for tita...

Day before the 1st, the 30th of April, Sir Dann, already filed his resignation... It's so great to know he's going to leave HICAP soon, meaning, there's more life ahead for us outside of HICAP. It brought back the hope in me, the hope to be able to leave HICAP... But at the same time, it's sad to know he's leaving, for he's the only person I get to be close with in the team, him and Jolly of course, and now that he will be leaving HICAP on the 9th of May, it then marks my being a loner again...

A lot of goodbyes to deal with in a week... A lot of leaving... But I know goodbyes are not forever... Soon we'll all meet again, somewhere, somehow...

I wish it's my time for goodbye this week as well...

Hello Stranger...

I wanna see this guy again... wanna hear him play the drums again... he makes the drums go wild the same way he do with my heart...

I caught him looking at me, but it ended up me staring at him... I can't take my eyes off of him even for a second... I like the way he smiles... The way he plays the drums... He's everything I want to know for now... Who are you, stranger? What's behind those eyes that makes me go ga-ga over knowing you?

Will we ever meet again? Will I soon get to know your name?

Who are you? Why do I feel this way for you? I want to know you, stranger... I wanna see you play the drums again and have my heart beat the way it beat last night...

I hope it won't be long to see you again, and finally get to know each other...